Anxious 10 year old at my wits end

[Trynabeagoodmum]

I have a 10 year old daughter who in the last month has deteriorated so fast with anxiety. Shes out of school now 3 weeks l dont know when she will go back.. she has extreme nausea when shes anxious. The GP gave me anti nausea meds, but they dont really work. Shes also on melatonin to help her sleep. She wont leave the house or even set foot in the car. Her school are sending home books next week.. Her anxiety is terrible at night. Im just wondering if anyone has any experience of this?... did you go to a therapist? If so which one a psychologist or psychiatrist? I just want to help her its awful watching her suffer so badly

Could it be hormonal? Is she about to start her period?

Apparently my Mum suffered terribly with acute anxiety around the age of 10 which gradually tapered off as her period started and became established. I vaguely remember similarly suffering with incomprehensible dread/anxiety around the age of 10, too. DD1 was exactly the same.

You may find that she is too tired & anxious to learn.
I'd make it available but not push it, or let her choose.
Activities like colouring may help.

Being anxious is extremely tiring, don't underestimate it. Especially if she isn't eating much and is sleeping badly.

You really need to take her to a professional without delay. The teen years anxiety gets worse so she needs some coping strategies now and maybe some meds with the melatonin.

I will keep that in mind thank you TNT

Thats a good point too l didnt think of that thank you

Was at GP last week we are back in two weeks but lm gonna ring him before that he said hevl will refer us she does need professional help. No one should be left suffer like this

OP, I am in a similar position with my 9 year old.
She has been a bit better this week but for a few weeks she was vomiting every morning before school. She has lots of controlling behaviours (OCD?) and little routines that she tries to stick to no matter what.
We kept taking her to school- the issue isn’t anxiety about school as such (although she became extremely reluctant about going in) but is much more general. School have been very good but largely because I work with kids with emotional problems so I knew what to ask for.
No answers for you as we are very much in the midst at the moment but will watch the thread with interest. Oh, and no they almost certainly won’t medicate in my professional experience.

On top of all the above

• Fresh Pajamas and bedding every night

• Lavender under the pillow

-Fluffy socks on to sleep in

• A weighted blanket - HONESTLY they aren't cheap but this will help

• calming music

-sad lamp

-soft lighting in her room

• if she's not eating let her eat anything she wants even if it is sweets until you see the GP ANYTHING is better than nothing

• herbal kalms

• camomile tea and loads of sugar and honey if needs be

• bubble bath or warm shower ever day

• moisturise skin

• brush hair

• herbal spray you spray on your tongue to relax and roll on ones for wrist and temples

• calming playlist of music from you tube on in the background throughout the day

• allow her to listen to a podcast or music when going to bed

Thanks for this

My daughters nausea is there before school and it gets very bad in school... teachers notice that she gets extremely pale they commented that they thought she might faint a few times... they can see anxiety.. no problems with school previously super happy their ... lm lost as to the cause of this except her illness before..l will keep going... GP..Counsellor... whoever l can get to help l will get ... thank you for sharing

Strangely... tonight it's totally become apparent this is a massive issue with my 9year old son. A vomiting bug three weeks ago and he still isn't eating, anxious and really looking pesky. So following with interest.. good luck for you guys.

I’m sorry you are all going through this. We have had the same with my son. We found a really good child physchologist and did a cbt course . He is a completely different child now.

If DD can not attend school because of her mental health the LA have a statutory duty to provide her with alternative education.

If this is ongoing also think about applying for an EHCNA.

Thank you

Thats so great to hear a bit of hope

Thanks so much for this

Thinking about the not going out of the house.
I assume because she is scared of being sick away from home?

So maybe on a day/time you judge she is feeling strong, get her to stand outside the front door with the front door open. Get her to do breathing / grounding until the big panic subsides a bit.
Then repeat another day.
Slowly work up to being a few steps from the door etc.
With the car, sit in it with doors open, then doors shut etc.

You may have to work out what is a priority, and let other things go.

Is she drinking? Then would she take smooth soup? (DD will only eat 'our' food and won't currently use her fingers for eating either, so takes a flask of soup to college each day.)

As to cause, as well as being ill, there has been this minor thing going on called a pandemic...

Thats a good idea lm.gonna try that shes drinking loads of water.. lm grateful for that... yes thats it when she goes outside or the car her anxiety starts with bad nausea and then she thinks she gonna be sick

DD is autistic and has been through extreme anxiety with school a few times. School were fabulous and gave her a soft start so she would go in through the office and be met by someone and go to do an activity or help a teacher until she was settled enough to join her class. Often finding the source of the anxiety was hard but once we did we were able to sort it out. PE was hugely stressful and assembly days and mornings where the teacher hadn't written their day plan on the board the day before. All of these were easy fixes in school. She is now in 1st year and we haven't seen any anxiety re school for over a year.

Our dd started to get very anxious at about 9 especially around school. We now suspect ASD. I'd always dismissed it as she'd been very "normal" up until this age but on reading around asd in girls it is not uncommon for things to become more noticeable at this age. It's worth considering.

We are under CAMHS for the same thing with DD1 (9). We talked to the school, we’re referred quickly and are now having six sessions with them. They work with you, not the child, when they are in primary school. We are working through their book which is from Amazon for about £7. It’s called “helping your child with fears and worries.” It’s excellent and I’ve learnt a lot already.

Thanks so much l will be ordering that book today

Hopefully l can get someone to see her soon

Its definitley an age where so many changes happen in their brains and bodies its definitley part of it thank you