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Original poster

I'm off sick this week and today I have

81 replies

QualityChecked · 26/11/2021 13:17

  • got the washing and ironing up straight
  • made a start on some online Christmas shopping
  • arranged a counsellor for DS1
  • booked a table for DS2 and I to go out for dinner tonight
  • arranged a social event to look forward to next weekend
  • done the IHT declaration for DH's estate
  • finally applied for probate
  • finally spoken to the right people about his army pension
  • arranged for the house deeds to be amended
  • Now I'm off to collect an order from the butcher

I've been very honest with work, admitted I've been limping on for the last few weeks and that I'm not coping so well and asked for some time to regroup, which they've been very good about. I've been putting off some of these things for 4 months and it feels soooo good to get them done, although I know some will disapprove that I've done it in sick time.

I might go for a walk in the woods after the butcher and then see if my mum's in for a cuppa Smile

This time has done me the world of good but almost impossible to get in the usual course of thing. For the first time in ages I'm looking forward to the weekend and raring to go for Monday.

OP posts:
BigYellowHat · 26/11/2021 14:07
Biscuit
BigYellowHat · 26/11/2021 14:09

Sorry OP, that was meant to be flowers and then a comment. Bloody broken hand. Sorry to hear you’re going through all this Flowers

Tubs11 · 26/11/2021 14:09

OP, full of admiration for all that you've accomplished and under such difficult circumstances. You were right to take the week for your mental health, it will prevent burnout down the line.

doodleygirl · 26/11/2021 14:12

I’m so sorry for your loss.

It’s so good to hear about such supportive employers. I wish they were all like that. Wishing you and your DC a peaceful Christmas Flowers

Crumblinginside · 26/11/2021 14:13

Glad you took the time to rest and give yourself some breathing space. Enjoy your meal tonight

(Also your cooking with the nice butcher meat)
It's good to be kind to yourself

iklboo · 26/11/2021 14:15

I'm so sorry for your loss. Ignore @Mantlemoose. Getting these things done is good for your mental health. Helps you recuperate and frees up time for you to do things you will enjoy Thanks.

ElectraBlue · 26/11/2021 14:16

I am sorry about your loss.

It is about time we realise that work is not the most important thing in life.

You needed a break after a tough period and you took one for the sake of your mental health.

The people saying that you should not have done it need to reassess their priorities in life...

Employers most of the time don't give a damn about the welfare of their staff and I don't see anything wrong with taking some sick days when you are under a lot of stress and pressure and to use them as you wish while you recover.

Shedmistress · 26/11/2021 14:16

Nice. Did you miss the bit where my husband died

You didn't mention that your husband had died. So yes.

badlydrawnbear · 26/11/2021 14:17

Well done for taking the time off and for everything you have achieved. I am glad it helped and you feel a bit better.

millenialblush · 26/11/2021 14:17

Imagine @Mantlemoose being your boss.

ItsSnowJokes · 26/11/2021 14:20

@Mantlemoose

Yep I disapprove you should have taken holiday or unpaid leave imo. Being off sick is to rest and recuperate nit to get a backlog of personal stuff done.
Well aren't you just a whole bundle of cuntness @Mantlemoose

Mental health is as important as physical health and this woman is grieving. Have a word with yourself.

Good for you OP. I am so sorry for your loss, but it must feel like a weight has been lifted to get that lot done xxxxx

ItsSnowJokes · 26/11/2021 14:22

@Shedmistress

Nice. Did you miss the bit where my husband died

You didn't mention that your husband had died. So yes.

It was very obvious if you had read the list of stuff she had got done though.
missymousey · 26/11/2021 14:23

Well done OP. I think you have been very strong and brave, to continue as you have, but also to recognise and talk to your employer when enough was clearly too much. You should take all the time and tea you need without being hard on yourself.

iklboo · 26/11/2021 14:25

You didn't mention that your husband had died. So yes.

  • done the IHT declaration for DH's estate
  • finally applied for probate
  • finally spoken to the right people about his army pension

Weren't clue enough for you?

notacooldad · 26/11/2021 14:26

I'm so sorry for your recent loss.
Your day sounds more productive than mine!

girlmom21 · 26/11/2021 14:35

It sounds like some time off was exactly what you needed.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm glad you're in a better place than you were a few days ago.

Keep prioritising you and your kids - you'll never regret it Thanks

Highlanders372 · 26/11/2021 14:37

Oh come on now, no need for posters to be so rude about mantelmouse. They probably just skimmed over the list of things the OP has got done. I dont think anyone would have sent that reply had they known the OP DH had died.

woodhill · 26/11/2021 14:40

So sorry about the loss of your DH OPThanks

I'm glad you have managed to get the things done you needed to do

crochetmonkey74 · 26/11/2021 14:45

I'm a 100% attendance person generally , but In the pre Covid years, I would have a 'sick' day in my back pocket when everything was getting overwhelming. I used it to catch up with chores and jobs- giving me a 2 day weekend (I didn't always take it on a Friday obviously) I would give myself 1 a year as an option- some years I never took it, but knowing I could if I needed to helped. Sick days are for mental health too.
During and Post Covid I can't anymore- as I am a keyworker and we are very stretched but it does help to have a pressure release

Fallagain · 26/11/2021 14:47

@Mantlemoose

Yep I disapprove you should have taken holiday or unpaid leave imo. Being off sick is to rest and recuperate nit to get a backlog of personal stuff done.
Did you miss the bit about the OP struggling with her mental health after the recent death of her husband. She says she has been honest with her work. Any decent place of work wants functioning adults who are on the ball and if that means they agree to giving the OP time to get herself there then well done to her employer and to the OP to recognising what she needs and making that happen.

I had a breakdown a few years ago due to work stress (very toxic environment, 50% of the staff left in 6 months and some with massive pay outs) and GP was very clear that I must get out and about in daylight and arrange social activities.

I’m sorry you are going through such a difficult time OP. Look after your.

canigooutyet · 26/11/2021 14:49

Rest and recuperation involve a lot more than staying at home wallowing in self pity.
Even if you're off due to stress from work, it doesn't mean you need to remain locked up staring at your walls.

Even in hospital you are encouraged to do more than lay on your bed as soon as you are physically able to so. When sectioned you are encouraged to get up and do normal things as part of your recovery and steps towards re-entering the community.

Sorry for your loss @QualityChecked and ignore the fools that think you are taking the piss. They clearly don't have a clue. It might also be helpful for you to also get some type of grief counselling.

Pipplekins · 26/11/2021 14:50

Well done OP.
I think this was the perfect time for a little break to recoup and gather your thoughts and feelings, I would imagine that you kept working because it would have been easier to go into autopilot than to take time off lost, alone and heartbroken.
Ignore others who say you shouldn’t have gone sick, everyone grieves and takes time in their own way, this is your time.
Hope you enjoy the weekend.

MeredithMae · 26/11/2021 14:51

Honestly some people are dickheads on the internet.

OP you are absolutely doing the right thing by a) taking sick leave and b) catching up on important life admin. Factor in self care things too- start a new boxset maybe?

So sorry for your loss.

Shedmistress · 26/11/2021 15:17

@iklboo

You didn't mention that your husband had died. So yes.
  • done the IHT declaration for DH's estate
  • finally applied for probate
  • finally spoken to the right people about his army pension

Weren't clue enough for you?

No idea what a IHT declaration is so no.
JingsMahBucket · 26/11/2021 15:19

@QualityChecked brava for getting things done and feeling better! Whether you're grieving or not, sometimes people just need a mental break from the daily crap and time to rest. Never feel guilty about that and I'm so glad you were able to take this time to slow down a bit and catch up on life. And of course, condolences for your husband. Enjoy your lovely dinner tonight! :)