Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Language exchange trips - 1980s

38 replies

AuntDympna · 23/11/2021 12:55

Way back before the dawn of time... okay in the mid 80s, I went to Germany for 3 weeks to stay with a family during the Easter holiday, and the girl came to stay with us for 3 weeks during the summer holiday. There was one day of organised group activities where we visited a castle and had a picnic in a park, but apart from that we were very much alone.

My dd keeps asking me if I think they are going to do an exchange trip and I can't see it happening before her GCSEs next year. But I've also been told that they only go for a week anyway and stay together in a hostel meeting only the children not staying with complete strangers in their own home. Is that what happens?

OP posts:
edwinbear · 23/11/2021 13:17

I imagine safeguarding has changed a lot since we went in the 80's, When you think about it, we were dropped off by coach, a random bunch of strangers picked us up and carted us off to their homes, where we were left with no mobiles/way of contacting our teachers/parents if there was an issue. My friends and I all lived to tell the tale, but it's pretty lax when you think about it. I had to have a DBS check to be a team manager of a local junior sports team, presumably that would be a minimum these days?

alrightfella · 23/11/2021 13:23

My dd did a language exchange a few years ago. All adults in both houses had to be dbs checked. They stayed in pairs over there and here.

sociallydistained · 23/11/2021 13:24

Early 2000s here and I went on the French exchange around 2002 and it was like this. I was so so homesick and cried myself to sleep for at least 3 nights but they were such a lovey family. Completely baffled as to why I didn’t speak fluent French when their daughter was fluent English. I could barley string a sentence together 🙈

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General education
SuperLoudPoppingAction · 23/11/2021 13:24

Dd did a traditional exchange where her partner came to stay, then she went there.
Her partner was an absolute madam who was shocked to have to share a room, and that I did not disburse cash for fripperies on a daily basis.

So maybe a hostel stay might be preferable?

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 23/11/2021 13:25

I was not dbs checked.
(Or the local equivalent)

Original poster
AuntDympna · 23/11/2021 13:29

We all had phonecards - remember them? And we used to carry lists of phone numbers around, the most important ones written in biro on our wrists.
I had an absolutely fantastic amazing time. The parents took me to the pictures, the theatre, the zoo, concerts, and several protests against nuclear energy and identity cards, as well as putting up good naturedly with my insistence on going to church (it was Holy Week, they were devout atheists). When my exchange partner came over we spent a lot of time climbing mountains and camping and swimming in the sea, and she refused to go to church which was fair enough.
As a parent, you can angst over what could go wrong, but it was a great time.

OP posts:
Gufo · 23/11/2021 13:35

I went on two great exchanges and one terrible one (nothing bad happened, but ma correspondente and I hated each other). I can't imagine packing the DC off to stay with a random family!

Twoweekcruise · 23/11/2021 13:42

I never went on one but my cousin stayed with a French family. He said he was left open mouthed when, after they all ate their evening meal they wiped their plates clean with chunks of bread and then placed said plates back in the cupboard.

FriedasCarLoad · 23/11/2021 13:44

I can't imagine it happening quite like that nowadays! But French and German exchanges taught me more of the language than several years of lessons.

They won't learn much by spending most of their time with English-speaking friends.

InvisibleMiss · 23/11/2021 13:50

DS1 did one in Y10 in 2018 and loved it. Only a week though. French boy then came back here for a week and he was a joy!

DS2 was due to go in March 2020 but obviously it was cancelled at the last minute.

I really hope school can do these trips again in the future. I appreciate it’s a huge commitment from teachers though.

BertieBotts · 23/11/2021 13:52

I live in Germany and exchanges here happen like you describe - child lodges in partner's family's home.

They also do the US style exchanges where a student will completely swap places with their exchange partner for a term.

I did a French Exchange in about 2002 and was horribly homesick the entire time and really struggled with it Blush

Wotagain · 23/11/2021 13:55

We all had phonecards - remember them? pah, didn't exist in my day!
In the 1970s I stayed with the same french family 4 summers running, and I called home only once! And that entailed going to their neighbours house, who had a phone, calling the international operator and booking a call to my parents for a few hours later in the day. It must have cost a small fortune and only lasted a few minutes.
But they were incredible holidays and my french is still passable even now 40 years on.

Original poster
AuntDympna · 23/11/2021 14:00

In March last year dd was looking forward to 2 trips - PGL weekend, Germany with school orchestra - that had been planned all year. They hung on kept hoping we could rearrange, and I think our whole mentality has shifted now, such things seem unimaginable.

OP posts:
MissAmbrosia · 23/11/2021 14:02

I went to Bavaria in about 1983 and I had a fabulous time. The family were much richer and more active than my family and we did all sorts of outings and meals out. Beautiful town and the mountains nearby. I wanted them to adopt me. Grin It was disaster when the girl came to the UK as no-one made plans to take us anywhere and I had no money to do much. We did lots of trips to the beach and I think she was very homesick.

VaulterTech · 23/11/2021 14:15

I did this, wrote a postcard home saying how shit a time I was having and the hosts translated it all 😂😂. Made for a frosty second week.

edwinbear · 23/11/2021 15:11

Mine (c.1985) didn't start very well when I ended up going off with the wrong family Blush. They kept calling me the wrong name and vice versa and it wasn't until we got back to their home that we realised there had been a mix up. We all drove back to school and swapped over, but it made me feel quite anxious from the start. They were perfectly lovely, took me to lots of places in Paris, then off to their country home for Easter which was fun, but my French was utterly hopeless, I was just too embarrassed to try and the mum got quite (understandably) frustrated.

We had my partner back and took her on some day trips, to London, to the beach for fish and chips etc, but she and I didn't really gel so didn't keep in touch. I remember my best friend starting her periods when she was on the same trip, she was pretty mortified about that. It was definitely an 'experience' but not top of my list of most enjoyable school trips!

DahliaMacNamara · 23/11/2021 15:25

I went to France aged 14 for 3 weeks. Pre phone cards, not that my own family had a phone anyway. My counterpart in the family was in the UK at the same time, and neither her younger sister nor her parents spoke any English at all. My French was better than my capacity to converse with strangers in any language, and even though I could understand and make myself understood, I was horribly homesick.
At sixth form I went on a German exchange, which was much more successful. I didn't want to come home from that one.

SpottedOnMN · 23/11/2021 15:31

My DD did one when she was 14 where the French girl came over here for a week and we bent over backwards to show her a good time, then my DD went there and they just got on with their normal daily life and left my DD sitting on the sidelines eg watching the French girl ride her horse for hours on end several times. She rang me in tears because they’d gone out one night and left her alone for hours on end til very late at night. When I went on one in sixth form I got a vomiting bug and my host family were horrid to me. I think a hostel is better. My DD loved the trips she did like that.

Original poster
AuntDympna · 23/11/2021 16:19

My counterpart in the family was in the UK at the same time

A child swap! OMG! I didn't really click with the girl I was partnered with, but at least there was another teenager in the house!

Fourteen is a bit young, but it sounds like there are all kinds of advantages to the hostel approach.

OP posts:
Notimetolive · 23/11/2021 16:28

I went on an exchange to Germany at 15. Loved it. Two weeks living with a German family and going to school there. Plus trips out to various museums etc. Trips out with the family, plus a few parties along the way. Fell madly in love with a German lad!
It does seem mad now that my parents sent me off to live with strangers.

ginslinger · 23/11/2021 16:32

I went on an exchange in the 70s for 3 weeks and spent all my time with the host family - some of it was difficult but the hosts were kind and my language partner was lovely. I really don't see how much you gain if you aren't fully immersed. I spent the best part of a year in Germany when I did my degree and that was amazing

OhGiveUp · 23/11/2021 18:30

I did an exchange to the UK when I was 14. I went to a family in Brighton. I remember being absolutely aghast at being served tinned ravioli on toast, amongst other culinary monstrosities.
And it rained for the entire fortnight so we never went anywhere as her parents seemed frightened of going rusty if they went out in it or something.
When she came to my home, my father took a week off work so we could take her to places further away from where we lived, such as the massive water park for the day ( my mum bought her a swimsuit ) and theme parks etc.
It must have cost my parents a fortune.

Chasingsquirrels · 23/11/2021 18:32

My ds had a German exchange in 2017, arranged through school.
I would imagine they aren't happening atm dye to covid.

Chasingsquirrels · 23/11/2021 18:34

It was actually 2018.

MrsMoastyToasty · 23/11/2021 18:49

I stayed with a family in central Spain in 1982. The family lived in an apartment and there were 5 teens in the family. My exchange partner was the youngest and spoiled rotten. We didn't really gel and I got on better with her sister who was 2nd youngest. A few weeks after I got home (I went at Easter) I received a letter to say she wasn't coming to the UK for her part of the exchange. I took the letter to school and showed my Spanish teacher who tried phoning the family but we never got to the bottom of why. To be honest we think that the family had got tickets to the world Cup (it was a world Cup year and their city was hosting some of the matches).