Language exchange trips - 1980s

[AuntDympna]

Way back before the dawn of time... okay in the mid 80s, I went to Germany for 3 weeks to stay with a family during the Easter holiday, and the girl came to stay with us for 3 weeks during the summer holiday. There was one day of organised group activities where we visited a castle and had a picnic in a park, but apart from that we were very much alone.

My dd keeps asking me if I think they are going to do an exchange trip and I can't see it happening before her GCSEs next year. But I've also been told that they only go for a week anyway and stay together in a hostel meeting only the children not staying with complete strangers in their own home. Is that what happens?

I went to the Dordogne one April. Arrived by coach late at night, went off with host family who next day took me away to a holiday home with outdoor loo by the coast for almost the entire two weeks. There was no landline, my teachers had no idea where I was, the mother became unwell and I spent most of the time with my penfriend and her friends but we did not really get on.

I've worked as a language teacher and we've been discouraged from doing them. I know some private schools in England who still do them, but I don't know any state schools that do.

A lot of families of friends and colleagues in continental Europe still organise them independently - they'll ask me if I know any families over here who would be interested in an exchange. Sometimes we organise it as a one-way stay rather than an exchange, if only one side wants to travel. I work in the church now and we quite often do it between Catholic families we know. We've got an Austrian lad staying at the moment.

My sister went on a French exchange and ended up being 'lost' by the school and the father in the family she was staying with was an alcoholic. She was miserable and terrified (this was in the 70s).
I've never much fancied it myself...

My French exchange partner's family didn't have a phone the first time I visited. I had to go to her auntie's to ring home and say that I had arrived safely. I went another three times to the same family and still exchange Christmas cards with her. Happy days.

1981/82 our german class did an exchange with a school in the sauerlandkreise. One of the best holidays of my life really. Days out and about with schoolmates during the day then invariably a party at night with our german counterparts. They did the same 6 months earlier. Really improved my german and gave me my first real taste of independence from my parents. Also met a german lad. I couldn't get my mind round how more liberal and easy going things were.
Engendered a love for all things german for many years after, including doing a degree in the
language ! A good friend also ended up moving there as an au pair a few years later and is still there...

@edwinbear

I imagine safeguarding has changed a lot since we went in the 80's, When you think about it, we were dropped off by coach, a random bunch of strangers picked us up and carted us off to their homes, where we were left with no mobiles/way of contacting our teachers/parents if there was an issue. My friends and I all lived to tell the tale, but it's pretty lax when you think about it. I had to have a DBS check to be a team manager of a local junior sports team, presumably that would be a minimum these days?

Crikey. Put it like that, and I'm pleased they're not really a thing anymore! I can't imagine sending my dc off like that.

In 1984, i was all set to go and stay with my German penfriend near Lake Constance in S. Germany. It didn't happen because we moved and I left the school, but we stayed in touch with the family and we did our exchange the following year. I flew to Germany on my own and had a great couple of weeks ... but my German was minimal, whereas my friend was pretty much fluent in English.

Over 30 years later we're still in touch (and my German is still shit!)

When we last hosted, about five years ago, we were dbs checked.

I did a French exchange in sixth form because a girl in my class pulled out so I stepped in. My exchange partner lived in the middle of nowhere and her parents were honest to god peasants farmers. They took us all over and were very welcoming, giving up the main bedroom to me, I had no idea how to decline! She and I are still great pals, 35 years later. I see her once a year.

My German exchange partner took us everywhere, including a couple of clubs-we were only 15-but just lay on the bed when she came to us, crying about missing her boyfriend so wasn’t much fun.

On the return visit I found out that my French exchange partner had got pregnant on the first leg of the trip (by a boy in her class on the ferry before arriving in the UK).

@CherryRedDMs

On the return visit I found out that my French exchange partner had got pregnant on the first leg of the trip (by a boy in her class on the ferry before arriving in the UK).

Oh goodness, glad to hear times have changed. I'm much happier with the group hostel idea.

Can't believe we got sent to random houses. So dangerous.

I did 2 exchanges to Germany. When I was 16, I went to stay a very rich family in Berlin. When I arrived, they gave me back the letter I'd sent to them beforehand. They'd helpfully marked all of my grammatical errors with a red pen 😂 I walked into the living room one morning and the father was stark naked on the patio outside!! I spent most of my time with their maid, who was much nicer.

DS went one one with his state school 2 years ago - just before COVID). Stayed with a random family - who were very pleasant. They had a special code to text to teachers if there were any issues.

He enjoyed it and his french improved.

Oh crikey, I remember mine in 1985....
2 weeks in France & 2 weeks with the girl staying with us. It was via an agency & NO real checks were made as far as I know. We were just left up to our own devices.

Her family were just south of Lyon.
It was summer so the family, minus husband who was still working & came down every weekend, decamped to the family summer home - an old house, very dilapidated, probably had been passed down from generation to generation.

Around the windows of the unused guest room in which I was staying the plaster kept falling away & I really didn't know what to do with it so was shoving it in the bin. There were huge gaps in the wall by the time I left - I told the mother & she just shrugged.

The girl would go & mingle with the village lads & disappear off with them on the back of a moped for literally hours, leaving me with a group of late male teens who fortunately ignored me!

The best part was the family thought for my return journey to meet the other agency travellers at the Gare du Nord that I could get the TGV from Lyon to the Gare du Lyon & find my own way across Paris to meet up with the agency for the train, coach & ferry back to the UK.
Luckily we had a French friend who was able to phone the family & say 'when the child is doing this travelling, who is responsible for her safety' so the mother took me up there & complained all the way about my lack of independence.
At that point I was 13 & whilst I would get the train in the UK, I hadn't travelled alone around London so negotiating the Metro alone would've been really in the deep end!

It was so annoying - some children had a great time, others like me had a shit time but at least my French improved.