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I get a dready feeling as Christmas approaches and I'm not sure why

68 replies

MintyGreenDream · 21/11/2021 21:41

Brilliant Christmases as a child but since I've been an adult I've always felt a bit meh about it.Anyone else?

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 21/11/2021 21:46

I can't stand Christmas.
It's stressful, exhausting and expensive

Sparklingbrook · 21/11/2021 21:49

I get that too. The expectation is stressful I think, I don't really care too much for all the food, and don't enjoy Christmas shopping or anything. It's something to be got through now.

Djifunrsn · 21/11/2021 21:51

I actively dread it because it's a load of work and there is so much expectation that I make it fantastic for the kids etc.

Stressful, exhausting and expensive, just like the pp said.

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Sparklingbrook · 21/11/2021 21:52

It's nice now the DC are both adults, I think that takes the pressure off slightly. If there's not enough festive fun in our house they can go and get it somewhere else.

TokyoSushi · 21/11/2021 21:54

I have this worse than usual this year, so much so that I can't bring myself to start the Christmas shopping as I feel completely overwhelmed. I think mostly because its so expensive (although we do have the money) and it feels a bit like forced fun.

I feel a bit unsettled in a lot of areas of my life at the moment though so that could be contributing.

Thedogshow · 21/11/2021 21:54

I get this too. I don’t really like all the excess that it involves. And it makes me feel out of control.

DH and kids really love it though so I try to do things that make it less stressful for me, like decluttering the house really well beforehand and trying not to buy excessive things for the DC. They always have a wonderful time so hopefully they don’t realise that I find it a bit much.

MintyGreenDream · 21/11/2021 21:54

I think its because I want it to be good for us all and I find it hard to just go with the flow.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 21/11/2021 21:56

My friend used to say that she felt pressure to 'produce a Christmas', because the family expected it.

TokyoSushi · 21/11/2021 21:57

@Sparklingbrook

My friend used to say that she felt pressure to 'produce a Christmas', because the family expected it.
Yes I can definitely understand that.
EarringsandLipstick · 21/11/2021 21:58

I feel this too.

ParkheadParadise · 21/11/2021 21:58

I actually hate Christmas since my dd died.
Dd2 is 6 and sooo excited about Santa she makes it bearable. Every year I buy a beautiful wreath and go to the cemetery on Christmas day and think another Christmas without you.
Hogmanay is worse I always go to my bed before the bells.

ILoveHuskies · 21/11/2021 21:59

I'm like this

It's really really Stressful and I hate all the mess and clutter it creates 😳. Thinking of what to buy people etc is really anxiety inducing

EarringsandLipstick · 21/11/2021 21:59

I'm so sorry Parkhead. I remember your other posts about your DD 💔

ILoveHuskies · 21/11/2021 21:59

@ParkheadParadise

I actually hate Christmas since my dd died. Dd2 is 6 and sooo excited about Santa she makes it bearable. Every year I buy a beautiful wreath and go to the cemetery on Christmas day and think another Christmas without you. Hogmanay is worse I always go to my bed before the bells.
Oh bless you how awful. I am so sorry for your loss 💐💐💐
MistySkiesAfterRain · 21/11/2021 22:00

@ParkheadParadise

BlameItOnTheBlackStar · 21/11/2021 22:05

I think it's because the whole thing seems to last so damn long now. The lights in our town went on last week, markets and fairs have started, every other Facebook post is 'so and so is going to a Christmas light night' or somesuch money making shite, and it just feels like you're somehow supposed to make the six week run-up a nonstop festive carnival.

I've not done that for the last few years after I spent one Christmas holiday a tearful wreck. I feel bad about not taking the kids to so many things but the money you could spend is Shock

ParkheadParadise · 21/11/2021 22:05

Thinking about it I have
18 adults and 11 children for Christmas dinner. I really should be dreading it 🙈

foreverandalways · 21/11/2021 22:07

I feel so very sad this year.....lots going on family wise and just wish I could cheer myself up a little....feeling really down.....

A580Hojas · 21/11/2021 22:08

I do too. It's just the extra work involved and extra things to do. It can get overwhelming at times if you (one) is already busy and not great at time management and not at all interested in domestic stuff.

DrWankincense · 21/11/2021 22:18

@ParkheadParadise I've seen you post about your DD before. I'm so sorry, it's so hard. Flowers.

I think as an adult, and especially as an adult woman, it is the huge weight of expectation. That the food will be something out of the ordinary, that kids will be well behaved and happy with their lot, that visitors will have a magical experience. Presents will be perfect and everything will look like the John Lewis ad or whatever.

And the inevitable anticlimax when it's really just another day, food gets burned/not eaten, kids are tired and fractious, visitors outstay their welcome.

We have lowered our expectations dramatically. And also gone away over Christmas to avoid things.

I definitely enjoy the run up to Christmas far more than the actual day.

allycat4 · 21/11/2021 22:38

It goes on for far too long. Nobody seems to understand advent! Social media full of ousts today "Christmas in x-town". 21 November is not Christmas!!

Winnerwinnerveggiedinner · 21/11/2021 22:51

I start off positively, getting excited about the lights and festive spirit. It soon descends into loads of work and extra socialising which makes me put on weight and my skin dries up. By the time Christmas arrives I’m underwhelmed with my lacklustre family (I’m sure the feeling is mutual) and disappointing presents. It’s only a couple of days, though.
Right now I’m in the anticipation phase so all is good.
Christmas distracts us from the cold and dark.

GellerYeller · 21/11/2021 22:59

'Producing a Christmas' is spot on. In my circle there seem to be two camps: the Facebook and insta huns who are perfect at Christmas and portray a life with endless time and money to devote to it, and the rest of us who try our best and zoom between the brownies/scouts/school/works/next door neighbours uncles dogs party while flinging money and sellotape around and trying to please everyone but themselves.

Rainbowsew · 21/11/2021 23:32

We are surrounded by "perfect Christmases" whether that it is advertising, TV shows, daytime TV, kids shows and books, magazines and newspapers and it's all directed at women and mums and their dc. It's all about "the best Christmas ever" and it raises anxiety as we're in constant competition with ourselves.

Men don't worry about this stuff in the same way, well not ones I know. My dh actively dislikes it and had only put on a front since having kids and when I mean a front he will watch them open presents and cook a roast but that's it, left to him there'd be no tree, no stockings, no activities etc I think he would get the kids a present but it would be just like birthday nothing more.

I do the rest and generally I like it, but I get the dready feeling too. It's the expectations. I ruined Santa one year by going in when eldest woke up although he's got over it!

I also worry about bad stuff happening "because people can't die/be ill at Christmas" which is ridiculous I know, two of my own relatives have died on new year eve. It'd be devastating whatever time of year, I think that stems from years back when a young mum died of swine flu on Christmas Eve and I couldn't stop thinking about her young children who were waking hoping Santa had been and finding out mum died Sad

BlameItOnTheBlackStar · 22/11/2021 09:07

Christ I really wish I hadn't read your last line there, that's horrific.

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