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Original poster

Egg freezing - can't make up my mind?

36 replies

sophie5418 · 21/11/2021 20:05

I would never have considered going for egg freezing (too expensive and scary), except now my employer is willing to pay the bill.

Me and my husband (mid 30s) can't decide if we want kids in the future. Right now is a definite no, but who knows if in future we will change our minds.

I thought of embryo freezing as a way to extend my fertility window, but I'm aware there's OHSS and other health risks, as well as being an invasive procedure (egg collection, ouch!)

I have already started the meds but having second thoughts now :(

Thoughts?

OP posts:

TwinklyBranch · 21/11/2021 20:09

I think you'd know by now if you wanted kids. What exactly do you think might change? I don't see the point in faffing around freezing eggs.

makelovenotpetrol · 21/11/2021 20:09

In what circumstances would an employer pay for egg freezing ?

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 21/11/2021 20:13

If your employer is willing to pay (strange imo but ok) then what do you have to lose exactly? Just freeze 'em.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

Original poster

sophie5418 · 21/11/2021 20:17

@Alonelonelylonersbadidea

If your employer is willing to pay (strange imo but ok) then what do you have to lose exactly? Just freeze 'em.

I'm pretty scared of the whole procedure to be honest, the egg retrieval needle & recovery, risk of complications etc. I'd be ok if it were a medical necessity but this isn't that.

I know some employers like Google, Facebook etc have this as a standard perk but my employer is offering it as part of its private medical insurance, it counts as IVF, so I'm only entitled to do one cycle.

OP posts:

Mrbay · 21/11/2021 20:19

Having changed my mind about kids in my late 20's and then enduring 6 years of trying and IVF, I would say do it!
Get to 40 and your chances to conceive can and do drop, it's even more heartbreaking if you have to go through multiple rounds of IVF to be told donor eggs are the way forward.

Egg collection, isn't that bad at all, I would say the drug phase is worst! once frozen you have the beauty of your eggs remaining at your current age.

Good luck!

Animood · 21/11/2021 20:21

I looked into this. Egg freezing has a very low success rate. I don't think it's worth it.

I think it's time to decide now if you're mid 30s tbh.

Original poster

sophie5418 · 21/11/2021 20:27

@Mrbay

Having changed my mind about kids in my late 20's and then enduring 6 years of trying and IVF, I would say do it! Get to 40 and your chances to conceive can and do drop, it's even more heartbreaking if you have to go through multiple rounds of IVF to be told donor eggs are the way forward.

Egg collection, isn't that bad at all, I would say the drug phase is worst! once frozen you have the beauty of your eggs remaining at your current age.

Good luck!

I was all psyched up to do it but then scared myself with horror stories where women were in agony throughout the collection, or as soon as they woke up.

Then I found some article where some poor woman suffered internal bleeding and almost died. So by now I'm feeling absolutely petrified!

OP posts:

Tractordiggerdump · 21/11/2021 20:30

From a bbc article;

Lord Winston's 1% figure was referring to the proportion of all frozen eggs thawed for use in fertility treatment which result in a pregnancy and subsequent live birth. Data from the HFEA from 2016, given to him in response to a question in the House of Lords, puts the pregnancy rate at 1.8%.
There was no data on live births available for 2016 at the time Lord Winston asked the question, but looking at 2015 data, 2% of all thawed eggs ended up as pregnancies and 0.7% as live births.

Original poster

sophie5418 · 21/11/2021 20:38

@Animood

I looked into this. Egg freezing has a very low success rate. I don't think it's worth it.

I think it's time to decide now if you're mid 30s tbh.

I'm freezing embryos and I think the stats is slightly better for those? I know it's not a guaranteed thing

OP posts:

mynameiscalypso · 21/11/2021 20:41

To be honest, I didn't find EC anything more than mildly uncomfortable (and that was generally the bit before EC when you feel all bloated and gross). We had an unsuccessful round of IVF which gave us a lot of frozen embryos. We then went on to have DS naturally but knowing that we have a bank of younger stored embryos should we want to have a second (which we are on the fence about) does take some of the pressure off a bit. It's no guarantee of success of course.

Animood · 21/11/2021 20:54

I'm freezing embryos and I think the stats is slightly better for those? I know it's not a guaranteed thing

Yeah you're completely right freezing embros has much better success rate.

I recently went for a fertility MOT. They took bloods, scanned my uterus and took my weight and lifestyle info.

It was very reassuring! They said I had good egg reserves and egg quality and I didn't need to rush (I'm age 32).

If the results had been bad I would have acted accordingly.

This MOT was not pricey - £450. Why not go for one and see what they say? Can't hurt!

I think we can only make informed decisions with the facts in hand.

Original poster

sophie5418 · 21/11/2021 21:04

@Animood

I'm freezing embryos and I think the stats is slightly better for those? I know it's not a guaranteed thing

Yeah you're completely right freezing embros has much better success rate.

I recently went for a fertility MOT. They took bloods, scanned my uterus and took my weight and lifestyle info.

It was very reassuring! They said I had good egg reserves and egg quality and I didn't need to rush (I'm age 32).

If the results had been bad I would have acted accordingly.

This MOT was not pricey - £450. Why not go for one and see what they say? Can't hurt!

I think we can only make informed decisions with the facts in hand.

that's great to hear about your good results! I also did a fertility test and was told I also have good egg reserves.

I have to decide whether to do it now because I'm actually moving on from my employer, so after I've left I'll no longer have access to the private medical insurance that's paying for this

OP posts:

Animood · 21/11/2021 21:38

*that's great to hear about your good results! I also did a fertility test and was told I also have good egg reserves.

I have to decide whether to do it now because I'm actually moving on from my employer, so after I've left I'll no longer have access to the private medical insurance that's paying for thi*s

Gosh we are in such similar circs.

I got my fertility test on my work medical insurance. They pay 15,000 fertility treatment.

But I'm currently thinking of moving on. Much higher salaries but also no private insurance.

Completely understand this is a first work problem.

eeek88 · 21/11/2021 21:52

I know two absolutely gorgeous kids (siblings) who were the result of frozen eggs and I’m really glad their mum made that decision,

Original poster

sophie5418 · 21/11/2021 23:48

@Animood

*that's great to hear about your good results! I also did a fertility test and was told I also have good egg reserves.

I have to decide whether to do it now because I'm actually moving on from my employer, so after I've left I'll no longer have access to the private medical insurance that's paying for thi*s

Gosh we are in such similar circs.

I got my fertility test on my work medical insurance. They pay 15,000 fertility treatment.

But I'm currently thinking of moving on. Much higher salaries but also no private insurance.

Completely understand this is a first work problem.

haha yes exactly the same dilemma. what will you do?

OP posts:

Dexy007 · 22/11/2021 01:27

Hi OP just chiming in to say I'm in almost the same boat as you and @animood. Also married, mid 30s and no plans for kids for at least a while (possibly ever) but going for embryo freezing next year.

I think some of the comments above are really unhelpful (although well intentioned I am sure!) People don't appreciate that your options are:

Try to have a child you don't want, now
Rush frantically to make up mind (all important decisions are of course best made under time pressure)
Do nothing and possibly regret it in 5 years
Freeze embryos and buy self the chance to decide later

It's not ideal to not know whether you want kids when you are in your 30s and happily married but it happens!

I would 100% go for it. The only thing that would stop me is if it were expensive and I had to pay for it myself. (It's a bit like buying an expensive insurance policy for a car you might not even buy).

I'm really excited about it all and the peace of mind it will bring us.

(And before anyone says it, I know it's not an insurance, far from it and the success rate isn't amazing, but it's so much better than sticking your head in the sand).

Dexy007 · 22/11/2021 01:52

Ps where I live it's not very expensive do IVF which is why we are quite happy to pay for it

Animood · 22/11/2021 06:52

I'm going to start trying next year!

I've decided it's very important to me.

IsabelHerna · 23/11/2021 23:14

I wish I had done this.

I just turned 40, broke up with "my other half" (my long term partner), and am pursuing creating my family as a single mum by choice.We will try a few times with my eggs and then we will have to go down the route of embryo donation, so a few healthy frozen eggs of my own would come in handy right about now.

In any case, that's just my story, it doesn't have to be yours, my question is why not give your future self the option?

Original poster

sophie5418 · 26/11/2021 18:39

@Dexy007 thank you for your post! it's nice hearing from others in the same situation

I decided I am going for it. I had the baseline scan today and had the go ahead to start. In 30 mins I will have my first injection! I am a bit terrified but fingers crossed it will be ok

OP posts:

TakeYourFinalPosition · 26/11/2021 18:44

If you’re moving on from your employer, have you checked what will happen to the embryos afterwards? Will you take on the annual cost - and will that be the subsidised one, or full rate?

Also that you’ve got a strong legal agreement with your husband about what happens to the embryos in the case of a separation or divorce, or a death.

I’m trying to remember what else I was advised when I looked into this. I was in my early 20s and in the end, decided it wasn’t worth freezing as the rates weren’t great, but I got some good legal advice and I’m glad I explored the option.

Good luck with everything!

Suzi888 · 26/11/2021 18:48

I’d do it personally. Good luck, I can see you’ve decided to go ahead with it.

Fet2021duejuly2022 · 26/11/2021 18:49

I didn’t want kids then changed my mind in my 30s and unfortunately needed ivf. My friend changed her mind at 39 and now needs ivf. To be honest you’re mid 30s, you don’t have long. I would just have a baby now. Fertility in woman declines in your 30s and a massive drop after 37. You’ll never be ready to have a child.

Fet2021duejuly2022 · 26/11/2021 18:51

@sophie5418 best of luck. It’s a stressful experience!

OinkPinkPonk · 26/11/2021 18:52

Good luck op!
I didn't find EC too bad, just abit crampy afterwards.
It's a lot to process and get your head around but the right decision should you wish to have children.

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