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Original poster

Am I expecting too much from employer?

42 replies

SingingCamel · 19/11/2021 23:00

I had a routine op at the end of last week. Isolated for a few days before as per hospital rules and been off all this week and signed off for next week.

Have not heard a single thing from anyone at work and it’s irritated me a bit. They obviously knew before that I was going and I emailed in my sick note which I assume they’ve received as no one has asked where I am.

No ‘all the best’ before I went in or ‘I hope it went well’ after from my immediate manager, my line manager or HR.

Would you expect your employer to make reference to it or am I overthinking it because I’ve got too much time on my hands?!

For info, contact with immediate manager is via WhatsApp on personal phones, so it wouldn’t be out of place for her to send me a message.

OP posts:
Peckhampalace · 19/11/2021 23:17

I would expect a best of luck before hand, but nothing after. HR wouldn't be interested, manager would be concerned that asking was implying pressure to come back, other team members might contact, but probably would leave until I messaged them.

nocoolnamesleft · 19/11/2021 23:28

A lot of people would find being contacted by work whilst off sick pressurising. There have been threads on here by people complaining how intrusive such contact felt.

NekoShiro · 19/11/2021 23:30

I wouldn't expect anything beyond an acceptance of the fact that I will be off for a while and then when I go back there would probably be a polite 'glad you're doing well' and that's it

Kitkat151 · 19/11/2021 23:32

@Peckhampalace

I would expect a best of luck before hand, but nothing after. HR wouldn't be interested, manager would be concerned that asking was implying pressure to come back, other team members might contact, but probably would leave until I messaged them.
Agree with this. You will likely be contacted after 4 weeks or so....your LM will be following policy as to the frequency of contacting you....It is not HRs role to contact you Hope you feeling well soon
SymbollocksInteractionism · 19/11/2021 23:32

I would send an all the best type message to those in my team who are going in for an op etc and ask how they are after.
I put a reminder in my calendar so I don't forget

Original poster
SingingCamel · 19/11/2021 23:33

Thanks for the responses. Maybe I am overthinking it then.

I haven’t even had a response to my sick note, even just to confirm receipt.

And my immediate manager sent me a message asking me to do something when I got in on my first day of isolation. When I replied reminding her I wasn’t in, she just responded with ok. I have managed people in the past, and I would have responded with a sorry, I’d forgotten, hope it goes well type of message.

OP posts:
Kitkat151 · 19/11/2021 23:43

@SingingCamel

Thanks for the responses. Maybe I am overthinking it then.

I haven’t even had a response to my sick note, even just to confirm receipt.

And my immediate manager sent me a message asking me to do something when I got in on my first day of isolation. When I replied reminding her I wasn’t in, she just responded with ok. I have managed people in the past, and I would have responded with a sorry, I’d forgotten, hope it goes well type of message.

Don’t take it personally....I have had loads of sick time over the last 3 years.....I have sent in many many sick notes....none have ever been acknowledged.....if they didn’t receive them I’m sure they would contact you to ask for them
Allsorts1 · 19/11/2021 23:45

My manager would definitely check in with me over WhatsApp! To be nice not to pressure. YANBU

My work also sent me flowers when we had a family bereavement. From the responses above I’m starting to think maybe my work is just really lovely 🧐

Kitkat151 · 20/11/2021 00:00

@Allsorts1

My manager would definitely check in with me over WhatsApp! To be nice not to pressure. YANBU

My work also sent me flowers when we had a family bereavement. From the responses above I’m starting to think maybe my work is just really lovely 🧐

Not everyone will have a WhatsApp relationship with their LM I was gifted a kindle and flowers last time I was off sick ( my LM contributed as they signed the card) but I had no contact with them for this ...... just because you are not contacted does not mean your work is not ‘really lovely’
Original poster
SingingCamel · 20/11/2021 07:48

@Kitkat151 I do have a WhatsApp relationship with my line manager. That’s how we communicate about work. And surely receiving a kindle and flowers is communicating? I’d have been thrilled with just a card.

My employer claims to be very much in to supporting staff and well-being and organise weekly events to support staff who need it. I also checked company policy about sick leave which states managers should maintain communication with staff whilst off sick to support them.

I’ve worked there for nearly 10 years and I can’t help but be a little bit disappointed in them.

OP posts:
FireworkParrot · 20/11/2021 07:52

I think it is a bit disappointing for your manager not to drop you a quick message beforehand saying "hope it goes well" if that's the sort of relationship you have and message on WhatsApp. It's not HR that would be contacting you over standard sickness absence or talking with you on your return to work, that's your manager's job.

antipa · 20/11/2021 09:51

YABU, your manager or employee has so much to do with, I am a manager and sometimes my head is exploding with how much demands people put on me. I am responsible for over 30 people and just do not have the headspace to think about sending well wishes via WhatsApp.

It doesn't mean I don't care but honestly, you need to have some empathy for the fact that people have their own stresses and workload etc to deal with and a text whilst would be nice shouldn't be an expectation.

Candleabra · 20/11/2021 09:59

@antipa

YABU, your manager or employee has so much to do with, I am a manager and sometimes my head is exploding with how much demands people put on me. I am responsible for over 30 people and just do not have the headspace to think about sending well wishes via WhatsApp.

It doesn't mean I don't care but honestly, you need to have some empathy for the fact that people have their own stresses and workload etc to deal with and a text whilst would be nice shouldn't be an expectation.

Agree with this to be honest. Line management demands are significant, and contact with someone off sick has to be carefully managed. The mirror image of this thread could read:

I had a routine op and am signed off for next week. I’ve had constant messages of “support” and loads of other unsolicited contact on WhatsApp. I just want to be left alone to get well. AIBU?

makelovenotpetrol · 20/11/2021 10:40

No you shouldn't be contacted by work if you are signed off sick. You have a right to privacy and you own time if you're off work unwell, so if your work did contact you THAT would be wrong, not the fact they haven't !

makelovenotpetrol · 20/11/2021 10:42

[quote SingingCamel]@Kitkat151 I do have a WhatsApp relationship with my line manager. That’s how we communicate about work. And surely receiving a kindle and flowers is communicating? I’d have been thrilled with just a card.

My employer claims to be very much in to supporting staff and well-being and organise weekly events to support staff who need it. I also checked company policy about sick leave which states managers should maintain communication with staff whilst off sick to support them.

I’ve worked there for nearly 10 years and I can’t help but be a little bit disappointed in them.[/quote]
Yes but you've been signed off for a routine op. What support are you actually wanting / expecting from them.

I think the support your contact is mentioning would be if someone needs support to return to work - not checking in on you when signed off.

I'm not sure what you want from them to be honest!

CottonSock · 20/11/2021 10:43

I had 3 weeks off recently before and after an operation. My line manager replied to my email sent from personal account when I told her the news then left me alone. This is what I'd expect.

user1471538283 · 20/11/2021 10:44

I would expect something and with my current team they would wish me well and check on me. With a previous team I was off sick for 7 months and not one of them even texted me in all that time. This was symptomatic of our bullying boss though.

Fuuuuuckit · 20/11/2021 11:33

I'm 7 weeks into my absence and zero contact from anyone at work. Just the thanks when I've sent in my sicknote. Not even when I've asked for calls back.

I'm actually gutted that not a single colleague, many of whom I considered personal friends, have not even popped me a quick email, WhatsApp or fb message. I've posted twice on fb during my time off, both about my dc, but nothing at all.

I had a look at the absence policy last week, they've not done anything that they're supposed to. My MH has nosedived (not the reason I'm off) and my return feels very daunting.

Sistedtwister · 20/11/2021 11:39

Could have been worse. I was called 3 days after a total hip replacement to be told I was at risk of redundancy. I had worked for them for over 25 years and lived 3 miles away. They could have come and seen me but clearly couldn't be arsed. They also sent flowers to a contractor off sick at the same time I got nada.
Decided not to appeal the grossly mismanaged redundancy and bow out with dignity. It also meant I could pay off my mortgage

You are just a number whatever mission statement they may have.
I have learned that they owe employees nothing but whatever they may think we owe them nothing back. I will never over invest in an employer again and I have no expectations other than a fair wage.

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 20/11/2021 11:39

Fuuuuuckit if your manager hasn't been in touch, suggest you contact HR. Anything over 20 working days required specific management where I worked, so we'd definitely have been in touch before 7 weeks.

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 20/11/2021 11:41

Sisted we were warned not to visit an employee's home in case it was construed as bullying, pressuring etc. That wasn't in any written policy, it was covered on a training course for managers.

TheChosenTwo · 20/11/2021 13:03

I’m sure it’s somewhere in our work policy that if we’re signed off we aren’t allowed to be contacted.
In reality a good work friend of mine was signed off and I checked in with her lots, we didn’t speak about work, I went round and saw her for a chat and general catch up in the time she was off, just as I used to anyway.
If you’re close friends with anyone I’d be surprised not to have heard from them, if you’re more colleagues then I’m not surprised, people can be reluctant about contact when off work.

Oftenithinkaboutit · 20/11/2021 13:05

Presumably planned way before you actually went off? So why expect a response to your sick note. They knew you were going to be off

Oftenithinkaboutit · 20/11/2021 13:13

You had a “routine op”

What we talking here? Grommets? That kind of thing? Certainly wouldn’t expect nor indeed want a thing from my employer for that kind of routine op. Would seem ott.

Friends and family for that kind of thing.

BloodyAlarms · 20/11/2021 13:40

In my situation I'd find this really odd. I've been with my team for 25 years and my line manager as come to hospital with me for appointments.

But that said in our policy it says we shouldn't make contact.