Am I expecting too much from employer?

[SingingCamel]

I had a routine op at the end of last week. Isolated for a few days before as per hospital rules and been off all this week and signed off for next week.

Have not heard a single thing from anyone at work and it’s irritated me a bit. They obviously knew before that I was going and I emailed in my sick note which I assume they’ve received as no one has asked where I am.

No ‘all the best’ before I went in or ‘I hope it went well’ after from my immediate manager, my line manager or HR.

Would you expect your employer to make reference to it or am I overthinking it because I’ve got too much time on my hands?!

For info, contact with immediate manager is via WhatsApp on personal phones, so it wouldn’t be out of place for her to send me a message.

Gosh. When did the world become so cold hearted? If someone in the queue at Tesco told me they were having an op, I’d wish them well, never mind someone I work with every day.

Our policy actually states ‘it’s really important for managers to maintain contact to establish if support or needed’ and some other random things.

My immediate line manager has 6 people to manage. And we pretty much look after ourselves. She doesn’t even approve leave or anything - that is done a level above her. It’s not a difficult or stressful job - I know because I’ve done it. And ironically, they have just restructured to make the teams smaller so managers can spend more time supporting staff.

It is extremely poor form to contact staff while they are on sick leave, not to mention that most people would expect their privacy to be respected. It needs to be kept to basic legal requirements (e.g. sick note) only.

Clearly you don’t have a good relationship with your line manager and you’re looking for more ways to be pissed off with her/him

Let it go, rest up, and try think any more about it!

@41ICouldHaveCheckedFirst most absence management policies advise to maintain regular contact with employees on long term sick to maintain engagement. The nature of the contact should ensure it's not bullying.

The company I worked for included home visits in its absence policy

* Gosh. When did the world become so cold hearted?*

If this is how dramatic you are at work, perhaps they are relieved at the peace.

You are a work colleague. Off for a week on a routine op

People have families, friends, aging parents, financial worries, health worries etc etc. A colleague off for a week? No. Unless I was actually close to them, no I wouldn’t message them because I couldn’t be sure it wouldn’t bother them

@Oftenithinkaboutit

“If this is how dramatic you are at work, perhaps they are relieved at the peace.”

😂 least dramatic person ever. Just basic manners isn’t it? And it isn’t a week, I’ll likely be off for 8 weeks. And I’m not talking about colleagues. I was asking about employer to employee.

8 weeks?
How come only signed off next week?
Added to which, give them a chance. If 8 weeks, you’re only a week in!

@Oftenithinkaboutit

Hospital said they could only give me the first 2 weeks. I’m booked in for a follow up next week where I assume they’ll give me another sick note. Routine ops can also be serious and invasive.

And one of my points was they didn’t say anything before the op either.

I’m quite happy to be told maybe I am expecting a bit much, but a few people have accused me of being dramatic and not liking my manager which aren’t true.

I asked the question because I wanted opinions. I don’t want people to agree with me, but I don’t think there is any need to be nasty about offering an opinion either.

This thread has given me a lot of insight to the thoughts of those who never take their turn doing the tea run or putting into collections though!

Okay, well after a week perhaps you’re expecting a bit much.
From my point of view, we are down a seriously large amount of staff at the moment (largely Covid, a small amount other things), no extra staff are drafted in and our work load hasn’t decreased, in fact we are all now working nearly 2 jobs worth of work.
I have a colleague who was signed off for 2 weeks following surgery (something very minor - as in, half an hour under local, not that it wasn’t important, just to give scale that she wasn’t under a general anaesthetic for 16 hours having her leg rebuilt or whatever! She said at the time that she’d probably be back the next day). The third week she wasn’t in and I texted her saying I hoped she was okay etc, she said thanks, was a bit tired and not up to returning just yet. I wished her well.
7 weeks later she came back.
I didn’t text her because I was bloody fed up to be honest and it wasn’t her fault - I just didn’t have the words in me at the time to keep sending her good wishes when we have literally been on our knees short staffed and struggling while she merrily posts on Facebook she’s got her feet up watching cash in the attic (I’m not on Facebook,
Someone else commented to me a few weeks ago about it, this is a good reason not to be on Facebook though!!) not just her though, we’ve had lots off poorly with Covid and while I feel awful for them (a couple have tried to come back and just aren’t physically capable of it), it just means more work for those of us who are managing to get in every day.
So op, try to consider if your absence is making life a bit harder for anyone else. No one else’s fault AT ALL, just circumstances, and cut them a bit of slack. I hope you feel better soon

I think it's poor behaviour but sadly nothing surprises me anymore.

When I resigned from my last job, I handed in a sick note to accompany my resignation letter (I'd been off for three months already with MH issues) - neither were acknowledged and I didn't hear another thing from anyone at the company after I'd been there for five years.

No exit interview, acknowledgement from my manager, HR or any of my colleagues. Zilch, zip, nada.

* This thread has given me a lot of insight to the thoughts of those who never take their turn doing the tea run or putting into collections though!*

[quote SingingCamel]@Oftenithinkaboutit

Hospital said they could only give me the first 2 weeks. I’m booked in for a follow up next week where I assume they’ll give me another sick note. Routine ops can also be serious and invasive.

And one of my points was they didn’t say anything before the op either.

I’m quite happy to be told maybe I am expecting a bit much, but a few people have accused me of being dramatic and not liking my manager which aren’t true.

I asked the question because I wanted opinions. I don’t want people to agree with me, but I don’t think there is any need to be nasty about offering an opinion either.

This thread has given me a lot of insight to the thoughts of those who never take their turn doing the tea run or putting into collections though![/quote]
The hospital won’t give you another sick note...this needs to be requested from your GP

I'd have said good luck before you went off but of it was a busy afternoon or I was put of the office, I may have had other things on my mind and forgotten. You would be entitled to such a comment, it would just be normal social politeness and friendly concern.

When off sick, I might send some flowers. Again, through social friendly concern.

However calling you, no. I only ever do that when it's longish term mental health and under confirmation from HR as to what I could say and what I couldn't. (I was surprised when in that position they told me I should speak to them). However, a normal illness I would check with them on return that all went well.

Wouldn't be

At my work people would be texting the same day to see how it went, but these are friends, not management.
Someone would contact one of the company administrators and arrange to have flowers sent
“From all your friends at (Company)”

It’s a lovely place to work actually!

This thread has given me a lot of insight to the thoughts of those who never take their turn doing the tea run or putting into collections though!

Bloody hell, what a thing to say! You can be compassionate towards people without being all over them. You’re hugely missing the point about line management and following HR policies. You may wish for more informal contact, but one person’s friendly regular text messages is another person’s harassment whilst on sick leave. Which is why there are policies. If you’re on sick leave after a planned operation, especially in the early days after the procedure, you should be left alone to get well. Then there should be regular check in points and a return to work plan agreed, possibly with occupational health. It’s to protect you.

* Bloody hell, what a thing to say!*

@Candleabra

And it gets better… apparently this thread gives her insight into those who don’t do the tea run or contribute to collections

And remember she’s the “least dramatic person ever”