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Original poster

Christmas party fail

49 replies

0verth1inker · 17/11/2021 12:31

Me and DH tried to organise a Christmas party at ours for the Sunday eve before Christmas (more like drinks and carols and stuff not wild house party). We have not long moved in and its our first house.
We sounded out all our friends about it a few weeks ago and they all said they would come, looking forward to it etc.
Anyway- as its been a while we reminded them all of it recently. 3/4 of them have got in touch saying no, its their Christmas party, they actually have plans, no babysitter etc. Only one actual yes (we invited 35 people!).
We have decided to cancel to save our embarrassment Blush
I now feel embarrassed and a bit sad and like none of our friends are bothered about us. If it was a friend I'd be saying its so near Christmas, people are busy, its not personal etc etc.
So....please get me out of my self pity funk.

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 17/11/2021 12:35

It's not you. It's hard for lots of reasons:
Some will be working on the Monday.
Some might still have kids at school on the monday.
Some will have been out on the Saturday for work events etc.
Some will be going away for xmas etc.

Cancel the party - instead ask 3 or 4 good friends over and spend quality time with those who mean a lot to you....and definitely the actual yes from the party.

Don't take it personally.

Original poster
0verth1inker · 17/11/2021 12:40

Thanks @Mumdiva99 thats my plan. I just feel humiliated messaging the groups saying party is now cancelled as no one was bloody coming

OP posts:
Muddytrainers · 17/11/2021 12:40

Personally I’ll be avoiding people in the run up to Xmas.. I don’t want to risk catching Covid and missing out on a second family Xmas in a row.

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Events & celebrations
BIWI · 17/11/2021 12:45

I'd be sending them all a very passive aggressive note about what a shame it was that, despite everyone saying they'd be coming, no-one is actually now coming.

That said, how firm was your 'sounding out'? It could be that it didn't come over as a real invitation, just a possibility.

ColettesEarrings · 17/11/2021 12:45

Did you actually send proper invitations immediately after the first time you discussed it with people? Because I'd bet that if not, they've assumed it's not actually going ahead or that they're not actually invited after all.

Original poster
0verth1inker · 17/11/2021 12:52

@ColettesEarrings we emailed out an invitation made on word and then put a screenshot of it in the group as a reminder so it was a 'proper' invite but not paper!

OP posts:
Crumpetsandhoney · 17/11/2021 13:05

Christmas is a funny time for parties. I tend to do something on a sunday early december and have open house for people to drop in - also that way it copes if loads or none turn up. Sometimes in big events people don't mind dropping out as they tink they won't be missed. It's not you its them but it does feel a bit rubbish. You can just put a note in the group saying date doesn't seem to work and you;ll do something in the new year. then have a smaller event with a couple of good friends.

FinallyHere · 17/11/2021 13:07

The run up to Christmas is always a very high pressure time to entertain.

Try again in spring/summer, I'm sure you will get a much better response then, too.

ShirleyPhallus · 17/11/2021 13:09

My diary is already chocka, I wouldn’t take it personally, there is a lot of pressure on people for Christmas stuff to do / work

Liverbird77 · 17/11/2021 13:10

It's horrible that they said they'd come and are now letting you down. So, so rude.

Me and my husband wouldn't be able to attend such an event because of child care, but I would have said so straight away.

LaBellaTrix · 17/11/2021 13:11

I agree, lots of people have plans already in place so close to Christmas. People that work over Christmas may be planning to see family that weekend because they can't on the day itself, for example. I also think Sunday evening puts people off, why not the Saturday evening? 9 - 5 workers can have a lie in, rather than watch the clock and maybe not have a drink because of an early start on Monday morning.

boringaccountant · 17/11/2021 13:11

When you originally sounded them out, werr you specific at that point about the date or was it a more vague "party before Christmas" type thing?

boringaccountant · 17/11/2021 13:12

Were*

SoniaFouler · 17/11/2021 13:14

For me, that would be too close to Christmas to not attend. I wouldn’t have said yes though, either no, or a “maybe, but ask me nearer the time”.

Original poster
0verth1inker · 17/11/2021 13:26

@boringaccountant we did give the date and time!
Thanks all I know- it's one of those things and the logical part of me is saying its just one of those things and I do completely understand I just feel a bit silly Sad. I think also we have a few friends with small kids (us included) so we may try next year earlier in December and maybe an earlier time so kids can come too.

OP posts:
Sunshineonarainydayy · 17/11/2021 13:35

Why not ask if the one available friend still wants to come? You might have a great night!

SallyWD · 17/11/2021 13:45

Are you sure it's not the carol singing putting people off? I would hate to stand and sing in front of people and most of my friends would be mortified too. Maybe if it was just wine and nibbles more people would come...

Waahingwashingwashing · 17/11/2021 13:47

Sunday evening before Christmas is booked up for me already. And I wouldn’t want to do anything with random folks for fear of COVID wrecking my actual Christmas

HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule · 17/11/2021 13:48

How about having a January party instead? It’s such a dreary month and everyone’s on a comedown after the lead-up to Christmas. We always arrange dinner and drinks invites in January and people are always happy to come.

Kitkat151 · 17/11/2021 13:58

Early December Only for friends stuff...2 weeks running up to Xmas is family stuff....kids....grandkids....Siblings, my MUm....nephews and nieces( Great nephews and nieces) ....I wouldn’t have time to fit friends in ....I see my very close friends between Christmas and new year

HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule · 17/11/2021 14:02

Or if you really want it to feel Christmassy why not do it somewhere between Christmas and NYE. Just have an open day and invite everyone to come at whatever time suits them.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 17/11/2021 14:09

I would be avoiding big gatherings op to be fair.

Polmuggle · 17/11/2021 14:16

Noones responses to the OP make sense. It's not that people's diaries are busy, that they're avoiding gatherings, that they don't like to make plans at chirstmas....

They said yes, the were free and wanted to come. Now they've changed their minds.

You have every right to be annoyed OP!

Original poster
0verth1inker · 17/11/2021 14:18

Thanks all :)
Yes @Polmuggle I think thats it. In fairness we asked a few weeks ago so I think it was maybe in principle yes they'd love to come but in reality babysitters/other plans etc etc made it impossible nearer the time.
I'm glad its not just- no one likes you otherwise they would have been bothered it has made me feel better :)

OP posts:
Whyamistilltired · 17/11/2021 14:27

I think prople over commit and then the realization hits. I lay in bed last night panicking about everything coming up which is crazy because it's all self inflicted! Don't be too sad. I think Covid fears probably feature massively too a week before Christmas tbh.