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Original poster

Christmas party fail

49 replies

0verth1inker · 17/11/2021 12:31

Me and DH tried to organise a Christmas party at ours for the Sunday eve before Christmas (more like drinks and carols and stuff not wild house party). We have not long moved in and its our first house.
We sounded out all our friends about it a few weeks ago and they all said they would come, looking forward to it etc.
Anyway- as its been a while we reminded them all of it recently. 3/4 of them have got in touch saying no, its their Christmas party, they actually have plans, no babysitter etc. Only one actual yes (we invited 35 people!).
We have decided to cancel to save our embarrassment
I now feel embarrassed and a bit sad and like none of our friends are bothered about us. If it was a friend I'd be saying its so near Christmas, people are busy, its not personal etc etc.
So....please get me out of my self pity funk.

OP posts:

User4272946730203 · 17/11/2021 14:37

I think people are being really cautious at the moment in case they get covid and have to self isolate over Christmas. I wouldn't take it personally - I think this is just a really tricky year.

mm40 · 17/11/2021 14:39

It’s definitely not you - we’ve had the same thing happen to us before now. We then had a bash mid-January and it was a blast.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 17/11/2021 14:43

Tbh thats the time im seeing family I wont be seeing during actual christmas.

The real issue here is that they said yes, then no.

Interested in this thread?

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Events & celebrations

fabulousathome · 17/11/2021 14:45

I think it's covid related too.

People see the number of cases (hoping they would be lower) and think the risk is too high.

WearingPurpleAlready · 17/11/2021 14:50

Oh no! Don't take it personally.

Where is your new house in relation to your friends? We moved into our first house, outside London, envisioning parties and things. Truth is though, we rarely get everyone out of London at once. They are all still in the city. I go there to see them more often than they come here tbh!

It's also a childcare thing probably. That's genuinely my reason for having to turn down invitations.

ThorsLeftNut · 17/11/2021 14:52

I’d own it and make people aware that’s why your cancelling, but then I like to make people a bit u comfortable 😂

Unfortunately we’re cancelling as of the 35 who initial said they could come only one has accepted! Such a shame as was looking forward to it you bunch of fucks

Or similar.
It’s not you OP, it’s a tricky time of year to arrange anything! Enjoy your families company instead!

Welcometothejingles · 17/11/2021 14:59

We have a mid Dec birthday here & have similar issues re people's availability in Dec. I found hosting the birthday in the last wkend of Nov works well. People have less family Christmas commitments & more likely to attend. Or the last few days of Dec is a good time to hold a party in that dead time between Christmas and New year.

RatInADollhouse · 17/11/2021 14:59

@Waahingwashingwashing

Sunday evening before Christmas is booked up for me already. And I wouldn’t want to do anything with random folks for fear of COVID wrecking my actual Christmas

Did you accept an invitation and then make other plans? If not your situation has nothing to do with the OP’s.

SirenSays · 17/11/2021 15:01

Don't feel silly, take the money you would have spent on the party and do something incredible that you love instead.

purplecorkheart · 17/11/2021 15:32

Honestly, I never make plans for the weekend before Christmas and would probably refuse your invite. I normally do things like wrapping, some grocery shopping, getting house in order and put up decorations etc. COVID would also be a big issue for me this year. I would not want to attend a house party tbh, nothing to do with the hosts.
The singing carols I would also find a bit off putting. I don't mind others singing but would not want to join in.

hollielouise66 · 17/11/2021 15:38

@Liverbird77

It's horrible that they said they'd come and are now letting you down. So, so rude.

Me and my husband wouldn't be able to attend such an event because of child care, but I would have said so straight away.

Exactly this. It's so rude.

SpamIAm · 17/11/2021 15:38

Ah it's definitely not personal OP!

To be fair, if it was a few weeks between 'sounding people out' and actually inviting them then they may well have been available when you first asked but then got booked up before you confirmed.

SheikhMaraca · 17/11/2021 16:11

I agree it’s a covid thing, singing in an indoor space with a group of people you don’t live with is (I seem to recall) literally the worst thing you can do wrt spreading the virus.

The weekend before Christmas? No (and I’m very relaxed about Covid)

Original poster

0verth1inker · 17/11/2021 17:37

Thanks all I feel a lot better it’s not just me being a social pariah 😊 we have booked a local (outdoor!) drinks venue with the friends who could make it instead. Looking forward to it (and no post party but pre Christmas tidying so win win!)

OP posts:

HippyDays · 17/11/2021 17:55

Polmuggle

Noones responses to the OP make sense. It's not that people's diaries are busy, that they're avoiding gatherings, that they don't like to make plans at chirstmas....

They said yes, the were free and wanted to come. Now they've changed their minds.

You have every right to be annoyed OP!

Totally agree with this, it must be disappointing but I’m sure it isn’t personal. I think a little while ago people (generally) were much more relaxed about COVID, but many are starting to think more carefully about it. I have noticed this at work - a month ago everyone was clamouring for a Christmas Party, but now that is it being mooted the same people are saying “err is this a good idea just before Christmas”.

I think someone’s suggested reply along the lines of the date now doesn’t seem to work for many so you are cancelling. It is honest without being passive aggressive. I hope you do something lovely instead and decide you are glad it turned out that way after all!

Wisteriabloom · 18/11/2021 10:50

I sympathise, OP! It really winds me up when people commit to something and then cancel (barring genuine illness of course).

Last week I was having 3 friends round for the evening, and was putting on food & drink. One cancelled the day before (genuine reason which i was ok with). The other 2 though, just cancelled on the day, giving v lame excuses🤔 This was AFTER they'd both told me the day before, they were still coming & looking forward to it. So I'd already shopped, baked & tidied by the time 1 cancelled on the afternoon, and one about an hour before they were due to come😡

It's a horrible feeling for the host and so selfish of people. I hope you enjoy your evening with the friends who are still coming! 🎄

Stompythedinosaur · 18/11/2021 11:07

December is a nightmare for get togethers. Dp has a December party and no one ever comes. It probably isn't personal.

SoniaFouler · 18/11/2021 16:35

@ThorsLeftNut

I’d own it and make people aware that’s why your cancelling, but then I like to make people a bit u comfortable 😂

Unfortunately we’re cancelling as of the 35 who initial said they could come only one has accepted! Such a shame as was looking forward to it you bunch of fucks

Or similar.
It’s not you OP, it’s a tricky time of year to arrange anything! Enjoy your families company instead!

A public shaming text like that would be the fastest way to ensure I definitely wouldn’t attend any future party.

AntiHop · 18/11/2021 16:43

I would be upset by that. That's flaky behaviour from your friends.

percythewitch · 18/11/2021 16:52

Dp has a December party and no one ever comes

He has a party every December and no-one ever comes?
Why does he keep doing it then?
Does he just stand on his own in an empty room?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/11/2021 17:36

Sunday night is always tricky I think. Sunday lunch with children might be better. Covid obviously an issue this year. If it people with kids too young to home alone the getting babysitter tricky too.

Bluntness100 · 18/11/2021 17:42

I also think the issue here is it’s a Sunday night, it’s unusual , normally a Saturday is what folks choose?

ThorsLeftNut · 18/11/2021 21:25

SoniaFouler Then I would be happy you weren’t coming 😂

Original poster

0verth1inker · 19/11/2021 13:48

@percythewitch

Dp has a December party and no one ever comes

He has a party every December and no-one ever comes?
Why does he keep doing it then?
Does he just stand on his own in an empty room?

This made me smile imagining your poor DH in a room of balloons wearing a party hat alone. I’ve always had anxiety around parties and no one attending so this has just touched a nerve I think 😂

OP posts:

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