If you’re in a LTR do you refer to your DP as husband/wife?

[TheShriekingShack]

I have a close friend who keeps saying things like omg moving house, that was stressful we nearly got divorced! Or we argued so much putting up Ikea furniture i thought it’d end in divorce!

She has a house and 2DC with her DP so they are definitely committed but not married. I don’t think she’s secretly married as I think she’d take his name and want an engagement ring etc and she hasn’t got either.

I’m neither married nor in a long LTR so I thought I’d ask MN if this is a thing people do? Is it like saying you’re a common law wife thing?

@StillWeRise

OTOH, does anyone else who is married refer to their spouse as a partner?

Frequently. I hate husband/wife, despite being a SAHM who attachment parents and does All The Mum and Wife Things.

I use partner most of the time. When dealing with overseas colleagues, though, I sometimes use Husband, as it translates better.

I knew a woman who referred to her ex's wife as his partner . It was ages before I realised they were married. It didn't come from a place of happiness , I think she struggled with it .
I find it odd when women wear a gemstone type ring on their wedding finger but aren't engaged . I know I'm old fashioned .

@IntermittentParps

No, but I do struggle sometimes with how to refer to DP. I don't like 'partner' (sounds like we run an accountancy firm together) so tend to say 'boyfriend', but that feels faintly ridiculous seeing as a) we're both into our 40s and b) we've been together two decades...!

Similar to this. Defo don’t say husband/wife - we are not married (both divorced)! We default to Partner even though we don’t particularly like the word because girl/boy friend sounds so silly in your 40s!

No, I called my ex my partner, and then my fiancé when we got engaged.
Though I referred to his family as my “in-laws” just because it was easier.

I know one woman who calls her OH her "husband" although they are not married. She really wants to be married and he doesn't

*But marriage = the paperwork.

Absolutely you can be just as committed without being married, but there’s no such thing as being “married without the paperwork”.*

I agree being 'married without the paperwork' isn't a thing - but, no, marriage does not equal the paperwork that makes a legal marriage.