Do you ever chat to your friends on the phone? As in actually TALK?

[BoozyHotChocolate]

Hi,

I was just thinking the other day, I never talk to my friends on the phone. Only ever message on WhatsApp, FB etc. We do our proper catching up in person, but I would never pick up the phone just for a 'natter'.

I think the only person I do this with is my mum.

I suspect this is just generational, as I know that if I randomly called any of my friends, they'd wonder what was wrong with me which when you think about it, is really quite strange 🤔

I'm mid 30's, just for reference.

What about you?..

[TeenMinusTests]

On the whole I prefer to chat by phone if I can't meet in person.
I find texts quite transactional.
(50s)

[teaandtoastwithmarmite]

No we never talk on the phone. Doesn't mean I don't care about them but we will text and arrange to meet. I did arrange some calls when we were in the first lockdown but they ended up railing off. One of my bf's is not great at texting either tbh.

[teaandtoastwithmarmite]

Tailing off

[Tibby99]

Yes most weeks

[dephlogisticated]

Yes, all the time, some every week. It always feels satisfyingly old fashioned and more real than WhatsApp and Facebook. It's a kind of teenage habit, settling down somewhere comfortable and properly listening/ being listened to on the phone, the rest of the world recedes for that time!

[weegiemum]

I catch up on the phone with several people. My Bf and I chat several times a week, especially since she moved 80 miles away. I'm catching up later this evening with a friend I've not spoken to in a year. We've both had a lot going on and typing out messages is missing something, so we made a date to talk - I'm really looking forward to it!

[Taswama]

Yes, although not frequently.
I like to walk and talk which you can't do with zoom or texts.

DP also chats to his sisters on the phone although it's mostly him ringing them.
I am mid 40s.

[ddl1]

Oh yes. There are two in particular with whom I chat regularly (one every week or two) and others with whom I chat on the phone, but not as often.

[Wheelerdeeler]

So funny you should post this.

My friend sent a message yesterday asking was I free for a call. I immediately assumed someone had died/seriously ill/lotto win as we never ever ring.

Happily it was just a catch & I was surprised I enjoyed the chat. I texted her later to thank her even.

[IfNot]

Yes, regularly. I live miles from most of my oldest friends- we are very scattered. Settling down for a glass of wine and a proper chat really cheers me up. Things come out when you really talk. How can you maintain relationships when you just message??

[TSSDNCOP]

All the time. Even though they live nearby!

[BettyfromBristol]

Yes, three friends and a sibling. One friend I used to see quite often but she was very cautious during lockdown. We started phoning once every couple of weeks and although we now meet in person we still phone. It's always at a prearranged time and we have cups of tea.

[amusedbush]

I absolutely hate speaking on the phone and only put up with it for my 88yo granny. Everyone else knows to text me and if I really like someone, I’ll FaceTime or Zoom with them (pre-arranged only )

I’m autistic and find chatting on the phone exhausting. I don’t know when it’s my turn to speak, I have no facial cues to work with and I’m not great at identifying tone (or even using an appropriate tone myself) so it’s a minefield.

If I get a random phone call from a friend or family member, it’s always bad news.

[Pumpkinstace]

I do.

Sometimes gossip is so juicy or complex a text message is just too time consuming.

They live a 6 hour drive away though.

[Pumpkinstace]

@amusedbush

I absolutely hate speaking on the phone and only put up with it for my 88yo granny. Everyone else knows to text me and if I really like someone, I’ll FaceTime or Zoom with them (pre-arranged only )

I’m autistic and find chatting on the phone exhausting. I don’t know when it’s my turn to speak, I have no facial cues to work with and I’m not great at identifying tone (or even using an appropriate tone myself) so it’s a minefield.

If I get a random phone call from a friend or family member, it’s always bad news.

I'm autistic and hate the phone with a passion.

I actually have a fear of calling peple but with my friends I'm OK.

[MarmitesMyMate]

Only 1 friend as she hates texting /WhatsApp etc
Maybe once a month.

[amusedbush]

@Pumpkinstace

I find the phone so much worse than FaceTime because at least with video I can nod and look engaged that way but on the phone, I have to mask SO HARD. I have to force laughter more, ‘mm hmm, right, okay, wow!’ along to their stories more… it’s physically tiring.

I don’t naturally have much of a tone or facial expression but if I don’t put one on, people accuse me of being rude or disinterested.

[dustofneptune]

The only person I usually enjoy calling on the phone is my sister. We call anything from once a week to once every 1-2 months. Just depending on what's going on. We also text and leave voice notes.

My friends and I don't normally talk on the phone. I don't really like phone calls, and most of them don't either. We just hang out in person, or text.

Two friends that live overseas love voice notes, and that's my preferred method of communication too. I love that you can hear each other's voice and have a conversation, but not need to be "on" for an hour or more in one solid block. They do tend to push for a "proper" phone call after a while, and I do tend to avoid it. Haha.

[Seafog]

I do, but we also do a lot of video calls.
My friends live all across the country, in different time zones, so we don't as much as when we all lived in the same province. We still try and have catch ups every few weeks.

[DaisyNGO]

Yes but we set a time so we know we're not interrupting anything

[DaisyNGO]

[quote amusedbush]@Pumpkinstace

I find the phone so much worse than FaceTime because at least with video I can nod and look engaged that way but on the phone, I have to mask SO HARD. I have to force laughter more, ‘mm hmm, right, okay, wow!’ along to their stories more… it’s physically tiring.

I don’t naturally have much of a tone or facial expression but if I don’t put one on, people accuse me of being rude or disinterested.[/quote]
That's interesting, I hate video calling.

[Thinkbiglittleone]

Yes, my best friend and I started it back up during lockdown and have both made the effort to continue it, as it can be 2 or 3 weeks before we see each other.

Other friends, no not really, usually voice notes as can't be bothered messaging and it feels a tad more personal.

[Pumpkinstace]

I can't facetime at all.

I've refused parents evening because of this.

I can call friends but struggle a lot with businesses or strangers/acquaintances

[Pumpkinstace]

Although if I've called them it's usually because I have something to talk about and will dominate the conversation and monologue away into the phone.

If they call me for something I'm less great on the phone

[Cornonthecobblers]

I prefer to video call than chat on the phone. Even video call my DM, hardly ever just phone.