Parenting disagreement - opinions please

[thisisnotagooduseofmytime]

I would be grateful for opinions on this disagreement please! Which do you agree with - A, B or other? Thanks.

A. Give child some pocket money each week with no conditions attached. They get the same amount regardless of how school well school has gone, how many chores they've done etc. They are still encouraged to tidy up and help around the house but it is not rewarded.

B. The child has to earn money. This teaches the child the value of money and that nothing in life comes for free. The amount of pocket money increases/decreases based on good/bad behaviour.

A and B

You shouldn’t reward daily household chores, they are a part of life, but you should keep a few hard slog tasks you don’t like that they can earn money for. For example I pay DN to babysit while I’m in the house. I also paid her to deep clean my cupboards when the cleaner couldn’t.

I gave DD pocket money of a set amount but she could earn more by doing some chores. Like filling and emptying the dishwasher, emptying bins, unpacking shopping and putting away groceries. Little 5 minute jobs but incredibly helpful.

B. I had to do chores to earn my pocket money and it made me appreciate money a lot better

Or C

Core amount of pocket money that is only withdrawn for true awfulness.

Extra can be earned from going above and beyond what “ being partner of a family means “

( eg re chores I’m a slattern , so I’d grab the kids at a weekend and say these things need doing pick one and we’ll work through them and no one gets free time till we all do “ sort of things )

A - I've never linked pocket money to chores. They still know the value of money

DD's dad does A, I do B
As ever, what's best partly depends on the child's personality as well as ours. DD hardly ever wants to buy something and has a stash of birthday/random money from grandparents for when she does.

She does chores as and when I ask. Because she's not motivated by money, saying I'd withhold it wouldn't make any difference to her doing/not doing something.

Sorry, rereading OP I don't really do B either. Chores are sometimes rewarded depending on scale of them, but with something else she likes not money.

A, I don’t pay kids for good behaviour or doing chores - that’s just expected as part of living in a family. If they want to save for something specific they can do bigger jobs like cleaning the car, but they get core pocket money every week come what may.

A only. Chores are not paid.

B. There are certain expectations for each £5 given and those amounts are withdrawn if that isn’t followed

A mix.

My son gets a base rate of £1 a week, he doesn’t receive extra for chores he has to do, he can however earn more for taking on more chores than he is expected to do.

C; a basic rate for 'mucking in' with family life, with the chance of a bonus for overtime.

A -pocket money is a flat amount of money that they get. They are, broadly, expected to do certain chores routinely but those are not linked directly to pocket money.

Having said that, I would dock pocket money in extreme cases - so not if they didn't unload the dishwasher but, for example, wilful negligence leading to things being broken or similar (mistakes happen so not just normal breakages).

I also offer additional cash for additional chores. DD(6) has started using a hand vacuum to vacuum stairs. That's not paid for but a routine (albeit, irregular) task. If she cleans the stairs as well - she gets some extra money. If she doesn't vacuum she still gets her pocket money.

I'm probably going to go with b for my eldest. However she has SEN and needs more motivation than most to get off sofa most days.
I do think it depends on kids personalities. I'd rather they just do chores as part of being a family but hey ho.

I dont agree with either, although it depends how old the DC are and whether you expect them to pay for certain things themselves - if they're paying for snacks, clothes etc then yes they do need a fixed amount as A.

Children need to learn to do chores as part of life, I expect it and I don't reward for it, just like I don't pay then to wipe their own arses.

A

Definitely A!

Always A, I'm not spending my time out of work managing a workforce and arguing about the value of chores.

I have DC that have now left school, their work ethic and attitude to money is totally fine

Read Alfie Kohn Unconditional Parenting. 'Buying' good behaviour backfires

A it's pocket money not wages/bribe.

C?

Basic amount of x plus optional amount of y if they choose to do certain jobs?

Mine have to put washing away and clear table as part of x for which they get the basic £3 a week. Then they can do extra bigger jobs like bringing logs in or hoovering car for £1 or £2 a go. Up to a max of £3 extra.

A. Chores are done because the child lives in this household. Providing money for them suggests that they are optional. There will be sanctions (probably not related to money) if chores are not done.

Extra money might be given for one off exceptional jobs e.g. we paid DS for painting the garage.

A. I’m not a big believer in paying kids to ‘help’ around the house. I don’t think chores should be done in the hopes of getting a reward. Everyone chips in, (age appropriately obviously) because it’s their home too.

I would go for A . Chores and good behaviour should be an expectation regardless because you are the parent and you have told them what you expect. It shouldn’t have anything to do with money

Thanks everyone!