I have screwed up big time, come give me a slap!

[aarrgghhhhh]

So I stupidly decided to go to University (as a very mature student), after being a SAHM for 12 years, as I have no recent qualifications or work history so I thought it would help me get back into a decent job.

Obviously not realising that I am actually pretty thick and my brain obviously decided to give up the ghost many years ago!

I have two 1500 word assignments due in tomorrow and I can’t do them as 1) I am the worlds best procrastinator, 2) I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing as I don’t understand it, and 3) did I mention I’m thick!

I have basically only opened word documents. typed in the titles on the front page, labelled a page ‘table of contents’ and that’s it! I needed to do a lot of reading and I tried (for about 5 mins at a time) but I can’t retain or understand what I’m reading.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry but I’m taking it in good humour at the minute.

I should just give up and cut my losses shouldn’t I?

You can definitely get one if not both done in this time, especially if this is first year the standards won’t be high. Also often there’s a policy that if you submit within 3 working days you’ll get capped at 40% but not fail, if it’s first year it shouldn’t count and that’s fine

Anyone you’re friendly with on the course, could you ask to read theirs? Not to copy just to give you an idea. Otherwise go basic, explain the concept you’re exploring, explain examples and describe things. You won’t get any marks for analysis but it eats up words quickly

Nooooo! Don't give up! You're just out of practise. It's really common to feel overwhelmed with first essays. My DB was in the same situation last year and has just passed his course.
What helped him for his first essay was to forget about writing it. Instead he recorded himself talking about what he knew about the essay topic and what he'd like the essay to say. Then he typed up the recording. That was his first draft.
You can do this.

Thanks Felicity. The problem is that I am doubting myself as I just don’t get it. Apparently as this is a Foundation Degree, the 1st year does count.

I have to do a Comprehensive Marketing Audit and a Research Proposal (not even sure what I’m supposed to be researching) with charts and graphs and shit. I haven’t got a clue where to start!

If it was just an essay, I think I might have been able to do it.

Also if you're finding it difficult to read then check if the books are discussed on YouTube or,if the authors are still alive, if they have any videos on YouTube explaining the concepts. Some people retain information from videos better than books.

No, I don't think so. Contact the lecturer(s) asap and tell them that you're really struggling.
They may give you extra time. And hopefully the other things you need: which are proper advice and guidance.
Sounds like you've just been chucked in at the deep end so you're feeling completely discouraged.
I'm not in the UK any more, but here all the Unis offer several online modules you can do which are essentially "how to boil an egg" for students, especially mature students.
They take you right back to basics in terms of time management, prioritising, how to approach assignments etc
Does your Uni offer similar?
I think you should at least ask for help before you jack it all in. If you're still not happy after that, well, you know you tried.
And I have to say, you don't sound in the slightest bit thick.
You're lacking in confidence and your skills are rusty. Those are both issues that can be addressed.
Just phone or email and be honest before you give up. Best of luck.

I agree with PP, ring your lecturer and tell them how much you are struggling. They should be able to give you an extension and a tutorial if they are good 'un.

Go to sleep

Call/email your lecturer tomorrow morning.

Stop putting yourself down!! You just need to scrape the rust off & apply some oil! You'll be fine if you hang in there

..and from
Here on in, it doesn't get any easier so don't put off doing it!

Best of luck

Thanks I was going to pull an all nighter but I have to get the DC to school and worried I might not be fit to drive.

I will contact my lecturers tomorrow and ask for an extension but I’ve already had one for one of them as it was due on Friday!

I suppose it doesn’t help that I enrolled last minute and didn’t appreciate that I’d have do lots of studying outside of lectures!

What subject is the assignment on?

Don't want to be harsh but it doesn't sound like you actually want to do this? You've already asked for an extension and done nothing with it.
Unless you're drip feeding and theres special circs at the moment, it doesn't sound like you're motivated to make this work to be honest.

@greencatblue

Don't want to be harsh but it doesn't sound like you actually want to do this? You've already asked for an extension and done nothing with it. Unless you're drip feeding and theres special circs at the moment, it doesn't sound like you're motivated to make this work to be honest.

This...

Maybe you need some harsh truths as a kick up the back side to actually get your brain in gear?

I remember rushing my first essay one night before it was due... I failed it and had to re-do.

From then on all my essays were complete a week before the deadline!!

There are lots of example Marketing Audit essays online. Presumably the deadline isn't 9am so you could read a few tomorrow morning before the school run so that you understand the format. Then write your own and submit it.

As long as you leave before December 10th or near, you won't need to pay fees. That's if you really can't do it

I work as a freelance writer but I sometimes really struggle with concentration/deadlines even though it's my full-time work! I mean, right now I've got 4500 words to be written by morning but where am I? Mumsnet..... 😅

Anyway, I digress. 1500 words will go by quicker than you might think. Once you start writing, you'll start to see the shape of the article forming and you'll get ideas about the direction. Alternatively, you can write out some headers before you start and then simply go through and "fill in" each section.

I often get given articles to write which I have zero knowledge about. And I do mean ZERO. Google is your friend. I've just put in the title you mentioned above - "Comprehensive Marketing Audit and a Research Proposal" - and there are loads of articles you can use to help you frame your 1500w proposal. You don't need to reinvent the wheel - just read through some of the stuff on Google and it will help you see the direction you can take. Obviously I'm not suggesting plagiarising it - but it should be an accessible way to get started and will help you to see the kind of content you need to include.

I agree tell the lecturer you're struggling, and that it's a bigger leap than you anticipated going back to education. YOU ARE NOT THICK. You are rusty. Big difference. Writing and co-ordinating your thoughts is bloody hard when at the back of the mind you're thinking of the kids, the school run etc. It's like having a screensaver which keeps switching on and distracting you from what you're trying to do. You need to train yourself back into it and that doesn't happen instantly - don't give up. You can do this.

Please make sure, OP, not to do anything that violates academic integrity when you are rushing. Follow any and all rules for your course.

Above and beyond personal integrity, it will almost certainly be far worse for your fate on the course to be found to violate academic integrity than turning in a late paper.

@greencatblue

Don't want to be harsh but it doesn't sound like you actually want to do this? You've already asked for an extension and done nothing with it. Unless you're drip feeding and theres special circs at the moment, it doesn't sound like you're motivated to make this work to be honest.

I can see exactly what you're saying but it doesn't always work like that.

I often find it really hard to get started. I leave things way, way too late and consequently I'm a right stress ball trying to get things done. I never bloody learn. When something seems big and overwhelming, and you're doubting yourself, it's not that you don't want to get stuck in, it's just that those first baby steps seem impossible. To an outsider it can look as if you're not bothering to even try but inside your head it's just a confused tangle of knowing how and where to start.

I'm going to guess that the fact the OP voluntarily returned to further education suggests that she was reasonably proficient at school and didn't struggle enormously with basic stuff. That being the case, it suggests she's rusty rather than incapable and maybe just needs a bit of handholding to organise herself and to have the confidence to tackle what needs to be done.

The only thing I would say - speaking from personal experience - is that it's incredibly hard to put other demands aside (house, kids etc) while you focus on research, writing and so on. It's infinitely harder than studying when you're younger and have no other commitments or responsibilities.

Lecturer and frequent procrastinator here. No point in an all nighter if you don't at least have a rough outline of what you are planning to say. Get some rest and do contact your lecturer either tomorrow morning or if it helps calm you down send a quick email tonight emphasizing just what you told us.
Everybody's different but one thing I find really helps in the early stages is to sit down offline in a busy cafe with just a note pad, no computer and try to make some notes on what could go on the beginning and main body of your argument. Or even just try to come up with some bullet points.

Op, I basically got through my whole degree starting the night before, you can do this!! Just get one done and ask for an extension on the other one.

It gets so much easier as you get through it. When I first started, 1500 words was a mammoth task, after 18months 1500 words was a doddle and would take me a few hours. Just keep going.

Omg this is me spiders

"I often find it really hard to get started. I leave things way, way too late and consequently I'm a right stress ball trying to get things done. I never bloody learn. When something seems big and overwhelming, and you're doubting yourself, it's not that you don't want to get stuck in, it's just that those first baby steps seem impossible. To an outsider it can look as if you're not bothering to even try but inside your head it's just a confused tangle of knowing how and where to start. "

Literally on MN in middle of the night ffs

@batmanladybird

Omg this is me spiders

"I often find it really hard to get started. I leave things way, way too late and consequently I'm a right stress ball trying to get things done. I never bloody learn. When something seems big and overwhelming, and you're doubting yourself, it's not that you don't want to get stuck in, it's just that those first baby steps seem impossible. To an outsider it can look as if you're not bothering to even try but inside your head it's just a confused tangle of knowing how and where to start. "

Literally on MN in middle of the night ffs

@batmanladybird - I'm autistic and have AHD and both definitely affect my ability to get started and organise my thoughts. Once I finally manage to begin, it flows but oh my goodness that first step is hard! Even if I'm really excited about writing about a subject I just can't seem to begin. Big tasks are overwhelming and cause paralysis. If your brain doesn't work like this, it's really hard to understand - it's not that we don't want to get started but just that there's a physical block.

Example - I wrote my original comment on this thread an hour ago - I still haven't started the 4000 words that are due in by the morning yet!!

The other night I had a ton of work to do. What I did instead was sit up until 5am researching wave machine swimming pools for my back garden. My garden is sloping so I also researched solutions for that. Also - I don't have the money for a paddling pool, let alone a swimming pool and my garden is too small for a swimming pool. For a few hours my brain wasn't interested in those facts but desperately just needed to know how to get a swimming pool anyway..... 😅🤦🏻‍♀️

@SpidersAreShitheads I would agree with you if this post was done last week when OP was asking for the first extension. But a whole further week has gone by and she doesn't appear to have taken any steps to work through this.

I'm not trying to be harsh to OP or knock someone who is trying. But it doesn't seem like she is trying to me 🤷 I hope I'm wrong and she smashes it out the ballpark.

The thing that stands out for me is that you weren't expecting to have to do any study outside of lectures.

I don't think university is for you. Sorry.

[quote greencatblue]@SpidersAreShitheads I would agree with you if this post was done last week when OP was asking for the first extension. But a whole further week has gone by and she doesn't appear to have taken any steps to work through this.

I'm not trying to be harsh to OP or knock someone who is trying. But it doesn't seem like she is trying to me 🤷 I hope I'm wrong and she smashes it out the ballpark. [/quote]
@greencatblue Again, I completely understand your interpretation - and it could be that you're right. But from personal experience, I can also say that even having negotiated an extension I can get absolutely paralysed and STILL be unable to start.

Honestly, it can be overwhelming.

You negotiate a new date and think, right. I can do this. And then you just do nothing because the original problem is still present and you still feel overwhelmed. And then as the extension time starts to tick past, it gets more overwhelming and more paralysing. And then the new deadline approaches and you've done precisely naff all - despite being consumed by thoughts of it.

As I said above, I have ADHD/autism so I have difficulties with executive functioning and this is what causes this really annoying type of brain paralysis. It's a constant battle, but some days are better than others.

Absolutely, the OP might not be at the right stage in her life to manage the commitment that study requires. The head space to think clearly is difficult when you've got kids to run around. But equally, it could literally just be a lack of confidence and not knowing where to start that is making her unable to sit down and do it.

To put a different spin on it, one question that's asked sometimes with ADHD assessments is "if there was £100,000 sitting in the corner of the room that was yours to take, could you go and pick it up right away?" And the answer is, no, not always. Some days I would be absolutely stuck staring at the pile of money, wanting to go and pick it up and panicking about someone else taking it - but still unable to physically get up and do it. That's a very similar analogy to wanting to do the work but just not being able to start because you're overwhelmed.

If you don't have the type of brain that experiences this kind of paralysis it's probably really weird to hear. Once I get going I'm incredibly productive and resourceful, and I'm good at what I do - but if I get overwhelmed before I start, it's bloody hard to do anything at all.

I honestly don't know if OP is a) capable but overwhelmed, b) capable but has too much going on in her life to focus or c) capable but not willing to put in the hours. There is the outside chance of d) not capable of doing the work - but I don't think this is the case for the reasons I explained above.

The brain is like a muscle, it needs to be trained gradually. If you are very unfit, you can't expect to be able to get up and run a marathon. Small steps and all that.

You don't seem to be very interested in the subject of your degree - maybe pick something you genuinely want to learn about, and start from there?