I have screwed up big time, come give me a slap!

[aarrgghhhhh]

So I stupidly decided to go to University (as a very mature student), after being a SAHM for 12 years, as I have no recent qualifications or work history so I thought it would help me get back into a decent job.

Obviously not realising that I am actually pretty thick and my brain obviously decided to give up the ghost many years ago!

I have two 1500 word assignments due in tomorrow and I can’t do them as 1) I am the worlds best procrastinator, 2) I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing as I don’t understand it, and 3) did I mention I’m thick!

I have basically only opened word documents. typed in the titles on the front page, labelled a page ‘table of contents’ and that’s it! I needed to do a lot of reading and I tried (for about 5 mins at a time) but I can’t retain or understand what I’m reading.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry but I’m taking it in good humour at the minute.

I should just give up and cut my losses shouldn’t I?

In the nicest way possible, it doesn't sound like uni is for you and that's okay! :) x

Hopefully you didn't try and pull an all-nighter OP. Writing 3000 words when you have no idea what you're doing, is not feasible is it?!

I presume you've had lectures which have given you the background theory on what you're actually meant to be writing about? You really need to speak to your lecturer and tell them how much you're struggling.

it does sound like you've bitten off more than you can chew, but then presumably you had the required grades to be accepted onto the course, so clearly you're not thick!

You need to figure out whether you can actually apply yourself here. I remember procrastinating when I was at uni, I'm sure we all did! But you can't allow that to be the norm.

This sounds exactly like me and I discovered this year that I have adhd and this is the reason I couldn't succeed in college. Nothing at all to do with being thick. I'd understand what they wanted me to do when the assignment was given out but sat there trying to write it and my mind would go blank and I'd have no idea what I was supposed to do. So I would just put it off until the last minute when I would have to rush to figure it out and throw it together

@greencatblue

Don't want to be harsh but it doesn't sound like you actually want to do this? You've already asked for an extension and done nothing with it. Unless you're drip feeding and theres special circs at the moment, it doesn't sound like you're motivated to make this work to be honest.

Agree. Yes, I would drop out while you can still do it without it costing you money. I don't think you knew what you were getting into and I don't think you're mentally in the right place at all.

Hey OP, please don't quit. You're not thick and returning to study to improve your career prospects is a really good plan. Studying is a learning curve. Now you know what the time commitment will be. Also, and I mean this gently, you know you'll need to put the time in to do well. Some hard earned advice from me, who made lots of mistakes when I returned to study, is block out time weekly that's yours and don't budge from it, plan assignments well in advance and think about how they relate to monthly readings. This will also give you a heads up about new skills you might need to learn in advance to prepare - like preparing graphs etc If you're struggling look for additional resources on the internet. Talk to your lecturers and be honest and if the give you extensions, stick to your end of the bargain and meet the deadline. Do a refresher module on planning, finding resources etc. Most unis offer them online. There usually an hour or so.

It gets easier! Don't let a rough start knock your confidence.

You're not thick. You might need to try harder and work harder than others, but as you do that your brain will get sharper and stronger and you'll be able to achieve more and more things.

There's been research on trying hard vs easy intelligence and trying hard wins long-term (see Growth vs Fixed Mindset, Carol Dweck).

As a mature student you can use your capacity for forward planning and organisation as an advantage over less experienced peers.

As others have said, talk about your struggles with lecturers. Get help and advice. When writing, start where you can. Find simpler resources to build your foundations. Write whatever snippets come to you. Write some section headings if you can feel any structure. Start early (in future), and have some time set aside to do the work.

There are loads of resources online about the basics of time management, organisation, studying, reading, writing, learning. It's all the sort of stuff you already know, but sometimes it helps to be reminded.

Don't give up. You can overcome this, and come out stronger.

As others have suggested, I’d book a meeting with the lecturer / tutor and explain your struggles. They may be able to help.

@Hope478

In the nicest way possible, it doesn't sound like uni is for you and that's okay! :) x

I think this is right. It's not for everyone and if you're struggling this early on it might be best to call it a day. Good luck with whatever you decide.