I can’t get out of bed, can anyone chat a bit

[Sadsaf11r]

I’m not in a good place, I’m really sad. I can’t move from bed and the longer I’m here the worse I feel. I feel like I’m waiting to die, there’s nothing left for me in life. Can anyone chat? How do I make myself move, I feel paralysed

There is a "talking bench" near me and talking tables in a local cafe. The idea is if you fancy a chat then you can sit there and chat with the others on the table/bench. Do you have anything like that near you? You could keep it light and bright conversation but it's about getting out and connecting with other people.

I've been where you are op - medication got me out of my hole. Could be worth a chat with your Dr

Sorry you're feeling like this, OP. When I lived on my own it could be frighteningly lonely and I would have to force myself to do stuff.

You mention your job is well paid – could you afford a cleaner? You could pay a company to come in and sort it out as a one-off deep clean, then get someone for a couple of hours a week.

Also, how old are you? I'm wondering whether you might be peri- or menopausal.

You could also try the 5-min procrastination rule. The idea is you set a timer for a task and spend five minutes doing it. Once the timer is up, if you want to stop, stop. But invariably you'll just keep going for a bit longer. It really works for me when I want pulling out of a fug.

You have just become overwhelmed with all your fears now, but if you are in good,or reasonable health, just get up. get dressed, and have something to eat and drink, and go for a little walk in the fresh air, do you have a little shop nearby, to get something or other. You don't necessarily have to talk to anyone. Some music or tv might take your mind off your worries for a while. And a good idea,to write things down, to get things out of your head.

Hope you’re doing ok. I definitely agree with the suggestion of getting a cleaner.

I honestly, honestly believe you’d feel better if you got up and had a shower. Being inactive can make me feel dreadful. Turn the shower down as cool as you can bear, for a few seconds at the end. Drink a big glass of water. Try this grounding exercise- look round for 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 taste. Just get through today and then you can make plans to move forward.

Try to communicate with someone. Even just text your mum or a friend and talk about something mundane, like Strictly. I know you feel it, but you’re not alone. Xxx

I do have family who would meet me today but I feel overwhelmed by it as I will get upset, not cope and then have the added guilt that they’ve had a shit day too. If I met my mum for instance, I would probably cry and complain and be sad for an hour which would be shit for her and for me.

@Sadsaf11r I want to give you another perspective on this. I have a daughter in her 20s in a very similar place to you right now. She’s very very sad, cries a lot, had a three year relationship end a couple of months ago and her life feels very bleak. You aren’t the only one out there feeling this bad, and you’re not alone. I’ll tell you what I tell her, this is a temporary problem. One day your life will be better than this, no matter how much it doesn’t feel like it right now. Hold on to that and believe it.

But what I most wanted to say was to draw on the resources of those around you. Go and see family or friends when you feel low and stop worrying they won’t want you around. My daughter cries a lot of the time right now when she’s with me. She has a lot of stuff to talk and cry and complain about. Although I’m of course sad to see her so upset it doesn’t make it a shit time for me or make me regret seeing her. I’m still so glad to see her, and so glad I can be there for her. I’m very worried and concerned for her, but I’d much rather see her than not and I still enjoy every moment I spend with her. I’d love her to be happy, of course, but for her sake.

So please stop worrying you’re going to make things bad for other people. Friends and family are there for this kind of stuff. Could any of them help you with your flat? I get the shame - I’ve had my DC not want me to see their properties in the past through shame but I’d never judge them and I’ve very happily helped them clean in her past. Don’t be scared to reach out for help.

Take it a step at a time. I hope thing got better for you today.

How did the rest of your day go Op? Hope you are feeling ok!

Allot of the stuff you have wrote was me a year or two ago! You sound like you have depression op. I am no doctor or medical doctor expert but I would book your self an appointment and be open and honest with the way your feeling. I was exactly the same bed was my comfort my safe space, the house was a tip, which only added to the thoughts what a shit person I am. And the isolating yourself really doesn't help. If my daughter felt like this when she is older, she could rant for hours. Family will support you once they know what's going on. It's not forever but you have to make the first step to get some help, in order for it too change x