3 kids and two parents working full time. How do you make it work?

[GranolaHolmes]

Just that really.

Both parents working full time. 3 kids at primary, secondary and one at college. The full time jobs are professional jobs with average salary, one of them is term time only but alongside study for qualification.
Kids have clubs three evenings and Saturdays. We use wraparound childcare for the youngest. House is a renovation project. Also a self employed business but while successful may need to take a back seat from the new year.

How do we make this work without arriving home each day exhausted, the housework piling up, and spending weekends recovering ready for another busy week.

No family support. In fact grandparents all ill but not local anyway.
We do Meal planning and groceries delivered.
Older children do their own laundry.
One child with health problems that require regular hospital visits.

Help. Send your life hacks.

Thanks.

Apart from the life hack of getting ahead in career before kids, buying property early and not spreading pregnancies over a ten year period.

I know that now.

We have a cleaner so I know the house gets at least a once over, Chuck food in the slow cooker in the morning then dinners ready. Although both full time one of us is on shifts so we have to be organised about who is in dinners, who is on the runs so we feel it’s equal. Everything out for the morning the night before which helps too

Cleaning: The Organised Mum Method (Team TOMM, website, Facebook, app). Stick the schedule to the fridge and let everyone do their bit. Do the kids learn to cook? Do they put their dirty clothes in the hamper? Help with the dishwasher? Etc.
Declutter, have fixed places for your stuff.

Family organizer/calendar for all school and work related stuff that everyone needs to know. And birthdays.

Either buy birthday cards well in advance for many months to come in a designated area or send them online.

Write ideas (to do's and gift ideas) down when you have them so they don't get stuck in your head or forgotten (use a special notebook or whiteboard).

Thank you so much, I'm heading out but looking forward to reading your solutions properly when I get back.

Train your kids. If they are messy you won't get on top of anything until they leave home.

Take turns to cook, my dd 11 does yea one evening, my ds 15 does another, just one shop a week decide what to eat in advance.

If you can afford to cleaner get one even if it's once a fortnight just to do bathroom, kitchen/ high traffic areas.

Write a list of what needs doing in each room and tick off as you go ( takes me about 4 weeks to get through)

When you find the solution … let me know!!
Same position as us… both full time; long hours. DH runs a business as well as FT. We use after school clubs breakfast, holiday clubs. House looks like a bomb site most of the time, no time for anything.
But the time the day is done I can’t be bothered to lift a finger… it’s exhausting

Argh. This is a depressing thread. I was hoping it might get easier....

We did this, and it was just a really exhausting few years. Satisfying to look back on though - we are proud of how we coped.

We were SHATTERED and quite honestly, had to lose (much of) our social lives for a bit.

I don't think it's that unusual tbh. Just go to bed early and cut back on your drinking (if applicable) so your bodies get the best chance to cope.

Get a cleaner

My secondary school aged kids often take primary school ds to breakfast club or pick him up from after school club - that's been a massive help.
I use TOMM for housework
Mon to Thursday lots of quick easy teas for kids like hot dogs etc and try and get healthy food into them at the weekend
I also have started getting up hair and hour earlier as can get quite a bit done on the morning like putting a wash on , getting all washing up done etc

Echo what @Firesidefox says.

Currently feel the same way and have had some honest discussions with colleagues recently who've been through it (I'm in the same situation as you OP but all 3 kids in primary). The main takeaway was a two parent family unit can generally cope with two of the following but will struggle to fit in the third:

2 x demanding full time jobs
3 children (with enough attention/after school opportunities given to each)
Social life

So I hear you OP. It is exhausting. No silver bullet but you're not alone!!

We have very low standard with regards to decor/decorating. Does everything really need renovating? If so, would it be easier to move to somewhere that didn't need renovating?

It doesn't really matter if something is the latest fashion/stylish, just aim for functional, safe and clean.

Honestly, we couldn’t. I took a massive drop in hours after dc3. I initially went back on my previous hours and after 10 months I was broken and felt like I was failing at everything. I think it was worse because I had early starts and finished at 4 which meant the kids still had a good few hours to make lots of mess before bed.

Exactly the same stage children here OP re schools, I'm a single parent just to go back full time after a spell of part time since divorce.

Watching with interest!

I am watching this

I'm with @Moomarre - tried it and didn't like how life went so we made some radical changes. We decided we wanted a good work life balance and to enjoy family time so I dropped to part time and we got a cleaner. No holidays abroad or fancy stuff for a while but at least it gave us time.

Thanks everyone.

It feels like we can just about manage the essentials. But then life this week throws in a parents evening, a school performance (3hours!), a heap of badges that need sewing for scouts and cadets ready for remembrance parade and 3 booster jabs this week.

We pile in to the house, scramble some eggs, shower off the day, 1 glass of wine only on just a couple of nights while a kid plays the drums a metre from my head and then fall in to bed early.

Even meeting with friends I cram in between kids activities and every minute seems accounted for. So no space for spontaneity. And on the weekend I ultimately crash out in an afternoon nap.

I bullet journal my way through most things so feel like we function well because of it but it just feels like too much to manage with no room to move

Definitely need a cleaner, was hoping to wait until we had the rooms a bit more renovated so there was something to clean or a standard to maintain at least.

We moved 6 months ago and haven't really recovered from that.

I'll go through all the suggestions tomorrow. I'm going out again 😆

This morning the youngest refused to get ready for an activity so I gave up. He's still half dressed for that activity now.

I can't see how both working full-time,three kids and a house that needs renovation combined with no family support will ever be easy....sorry!

Do you have money to through at the situation?

Do you have to work full time?

I hear you Op! Its really hard work. I need tips too

Yeah we have the savings for the renovation but not the time to get on with it.

Same here. Children (primary snd secondary). Full time jobs. House is a work in progress.

I’ve no answers. Life is hell! :-)

It sounds like a miserable existence, what’s the point? Perhaps you need to re evaluate a different way of living.

No idea!! I’m a single parent with 3 (primary, sen secondary, college), work 25 hours, have a horse and a dog . The kids see their dad two nights a month, so life is a never ending uphill treadmill.

My slow cooker gets used a lot! If not, it’s quick dinners that can be made in about 10/15 minutes. Life is hectic and every now and then it gets on top of me and I feel like I can’t cope. I work term time only luckily, so I can recharge in the holidays.

They do clubs as well, which are a logistical nightmare and the eldest has recently started a weekend job which I take her to.

It’s exhausting.