Blighted Ovum - waiting for miscarriage

[Lottie2267]

Hello
I’m 7 weeks plus 4 days pregnant. I had brown discharge a few days ago but midwife said they wouldn’t send me for an early scan unless I had a heavy bleed. I decided to pay for a private scan yesterday and was diagnosed with a blighted ovum :( it’s so sad and both me and my husband are quite upset.

I rang the early pregnancy unit this morning and they said they won’t see me because of COVID. The woman was really lovely on the phone but I just feel so alone. She said I have to wait for the miscarriage to happen at home and that it should happen in the next 3 weeks. She also gave me information on how to cope with the pain and bleeding.

I know this sounds terrible but I just want It over now, I am still having symptoms that I’m pregnant which is making it worse. Do you think I should see if I can have an abortion pill to just get it over now? She said that if it doesn’t happen naturally in 3 weeks to call back and they would give me medication to help it happen which I assume is the same pills they use for abortion?

I really don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless, my husband is amazing but I don’t think I can mentally cope going through weeks of waiting for the miscarriage to come.

Is anyone else going through this? I think things are worse now because of COVID but I feel so alone. I have never posted on here before but hope someone can help / give advice. Thanks x

Also, forgot to say. We were trying to conceive and I am 100% that my dates are correct, so there’s no way I can be any earlier than 7 weeks x

I would speak to your GP and explain what is happening. They often have a completely different opinion to the hospital.

Thank you. I’ve rang the GP this morning so just waiting for the on call doctor to give me a ring back

No advice I'm afraid, but just wanted to say sorry for what you are going through. Having to wait 3 more weeks of feeling pregnant when you aren't must be awful. Hopefully your GP helps you

I went through this some years ago, at about 6 weeks and to be honest I just remember it being like a heavy period. I think finding out it was blighted and losing it all happened about the same time, I don't recall a delay which you're facing. That must be tough.
I was pregnant again 4 months later and all completely textbook.

Wishing you well.

Hi OP

I’m currently miscarrying so I know how you feel. Our babies stopped growing at 6 weeks and I began miscarrying naturally last night.

It’s really hard and I do totally understand what you mean about not waiting. I honestly would suggest considering the medical option, as I couldnt have waited much longer to say goodbye and begin grieving.

Hope that makes sense - and I am so sorry

Thank you all for your messages. So sorry to hear what you’ve all been through and are currently going through. Sending so much love.

I had a call back from the GP this afternoon and they’ve said for me to wait two weeks as there is no point speeding up something that will happen naturally and only a gynaecologist can prescribe the medication. I do wonder if COVID is to blame and they just don’t want extra people going into hospitals. I’m tempted to self refer myself to an abortion organisation who are listed on the NHS website and they send the medication out to you in the post. It’s a rubbish situation either way.

So sorry that you're going through this, it really sucks

I had the same a few years ago at 6 weeks and was offered both medical (tablets) and surgical help.

I took the medical management route that evening at home.

I would have felt exactly the same as you and actually think this is cruel.

Perhaps speak to the abortion clinic and see what they say, I can't see why you couldn't use that route.

I'd also be emailing PALS and my MP.

I get the 'it will just happen naturally' however it doesn't take any account of the psychological impact of continuing to feel pregnant as your body still thinks it is.

This is another one of those "it wouldn't happen if men were pregnant" things. It makes me so angry.

I’m so sorry OP. I had this happen and was offered a surgical route as I remember they told me it wasn’t a guarantee I would miscarry so was recommended to me. I also didn’t want to wait as it felt like prolonging something already tragic.

I was also going to recommend PALS
Does anyone know what the nice guidelines say on this?

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng126/chapter/Recommendations#management-of-miscarriage
1.5.3 Offer medical management to women with a confirmed diagnosis of miscarriage if expectant management is not acceptable to the woman. [2012]

I would be contacting the hospital and requesting management if that’s your decision. They shouldn’t be fobbing you off if you are unhappy with this method.
So sorry again

I had the same thing many years ago now. I wasnt offered any medication either but perhaps because I had been carrying twins and the other baby was still alive and well. I was sent away to await the bleeding. I cant recall how long it took - a few days maybe, maybe a couple of weeks? What I do remember though was that it was painless and very quick. The loss came out while I was out for the day. Lots of brown blood. It looked more like poo than blood. Sorry for TMI but I had been forewarned and was actually glad to know what to expect. I'm sorry for what you are going through but it will soon be over and you can start thinking about trying again soon.

Really sorry you're going through this. I'm going through a miscarriage atm and it's not nice at all, I chose the medical management and to be honest the hospital have been great and let me start the treatment the same day my mmc was diagnosed. I'm actually quite shocked they're making you wait for it to happen naturally if that isn't what you want, surely what you want to happen should come into account ?
I was 6.5 weeks and although the bleeding hasn't been too bad what Ive passed has been very large, so it isn't always just like a heavy period.
Could you call them back and explain how you just want to start the process rather than waiting around for it to start?

Thank you all so much for your help and advice, I really appreciate it.

So I just rang the sexual health clinic and they were as shocked as everyone. They have booked me in for an appointment next Thursday (this is the first they have) but have said they will try and sort something out sooner, I’m not holding my breath though. I have also done a self referral to BPAS and they said they should get back to me within 24 hours so I will see that they say also. I am tempted to ring the early pregnancy unit again and say that I can’t wait and I want the tablets asap. I’m not sure if they would even be able to prescribe them to me though!!

So sorry to all of you going through miscarriage and those who have been through it / have been affected by it. The only thing we can take from such an awful thing is that we aren’t alone.

I would be calling the EPU back and asking to speak to the head of unit and quoting the NICE guidelines to them.
It’s awful you are having to go through the miscarriage without having access to your choice of how it happens.

Sorry to hear about that. I was found to have a blighted ovum at 13 weeks a few years back at a routine scan. I was given the tablets to bring on the miscarriage but they didn't fully work. I have to go on to have a d&c. Don't know when I would have naturally miscarried as I had no bleeding at all. Hope it all works out OK xx

I had this a few years ago. I was sent to the EPU following a bleed and they said I had a small empty sac measuring around 4 weeks (I should have been around 8 weeks).
They scheduled a second scan 10 days later and said there were three possible outcomes

• I’d miscarry naturally before then, in which case the scan would confirm everything had gone and I didn’t have any retained tissue
• I wouldn’t miscarry, the scan would confirm the diagnosis and I’d be offered some sort of management, probably pills.
• I wouldn’t miscarry, and the scan would show the pregnancy had grown and I was just a lot earlier than I thought. Given that I’d had a positive pregnancy test at just under 4 weeks pregnant, I knew there was no way my dates were 4 weeks out and frankly I was irritated with the Dr for acting like this was a reasonable possibility.

As it happened, I miscarried naturally a few days later and this was like a bad period for me, both in terms of pain and blood. But it was manageable and then I had the scan the next week.

I got pregnant with DD the next month.

Thank you all it’s so good to hear all of your experiences.

I have started spotting this evening with mild cramps and I’m really hoping this is the start of it. I’ve got a bad headache too so not sure if this is related. I will be ringing the EPU back in the morning though just to see if I can get some sense out of them. Will keep you updated.

Hey. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
This was me, 8 years ago. Only I didn't find out until I was 10 weeks. I was bleeding (like a light period) when I went to EPU. This is when I found out. Early hours of the next morning, I started contracting and then about 8am, I got up and felt like something was going to go, so ran to the toilet and that's when the blood gushed. It lasted 3 hours (I literally couldn't leave the toilet) lots of big clots came out and my DH called the ambulance as I was in so much pain. It was my first pregnancy so I didn't have labour to compare it too.
It was just like labour. Got to A&E and was given morphine before being discharged. So I don't blame you for wanting it out of you ASAP. Look after yourself. X

I’m 7 weeks plus 4 days pregnant. I had brown discharge a few days ago but midwife said they wouldn’t send me for an early scan unless I had a heavy bleed.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. The above can't be a national policy because I had similar discharge at a similar gestation in Aprilish (so definitely during COVID) and had an emergency scan at the EPAU (NHS, not private). It sounds like your hospital is being extremely conservative to the point of not fulfilling their duty of care to you. I agree PALs first and then MP

I'm sorry op. Just wanted to add that my miscarriages always came with a horrific headache, so it may well be related. I hope this passes quickly for you.

Very sorry this is happening to you.

Thanks all. It’s so frustrating that my hospital isn’t doing what they should. Unfortunately I’ve just woken up and I didn’t have any more spotting over night, my head also feels better.

Will wait for the EPU to open and will give them a call back this morning. Fingers crossed they can do something.

I will also try and speak with PALS today if I have no joy!