New job blues?

[newjobisthisnormal]

I'm sorry - I know I'm very lucky to be employed and hope this doesn't upset anyone. I am very grateful.

But I feel so heartbroken and homesick. I was brilliant in my old job, I knew everything and everyone, and now I just feel small and broken and like I've made a huge mistake. Has anyone else felt like this and how long did it take to go away?

I've felt like that every time I've started a new job to be honest. It takes a while to go from knowing everything you need to do to go back to the start and feel like you know nothing and can't do anything. How long have you been at the new place? I'd say give it a couple of months to settle in. Have you got a probation period?

They say it takes 3 months to settle into a new job and know what you're doing, and 6 months start making a difference.

Hang on in there - the first few months in a job are pants! Are you wfh, or in an office? I can't imagine how hard it must be for people starting new jobs these days when everyone is wfh.

Thank you so much for replying!

I only began yesterday and there have been a few technology and timing fails, so we haven't been able to discuss probation or anything properly yet. I have a lovely manager though.

I just wasn't expecting to feel so very homesick, I can't fathom it at all. It's good to know that maybe it's normal for other people too though?

I have read that any change can take at least 3 months to get used to or a habit can take 3 months to break - I am sure you will be fine. 1 or two days - technology fails happen to many people not just new starters ( & not everything you want to discuss will happen in the first 48 hours. ). I would hang on to the fact you have a lovely manager & when there is time - not 6 months but just a convenient time for both of you you can speak to her / him. Perhaps ask for an appointment. But give it a while longer would be my advice - come back in 3 months and tell us how well you are doing

@newjobisthisnormal

Thank you so much @BasiliskStare (and again @DaxtheDestroyer and @MrsFin). Genuinely you've helped me so much. I'll just keep riding this little wave of unexpected sadness!

I think it’s normal, I started a new job 6 weeks ago after being with my old company for 10 years.

It’s really odd and disconcerting not knowing everyone and everything but it gets better - I already feel more settled and excited to actually work than I did even a month ago.

Just hang in there!

Thank you @DrWhoNowww and I'm so glad things are shaping up for you.

I'm going to keep all your comments in mind for the next few weeks.

@newjobisthisnormal

Thank you so much for replying!

I only began yesterday and there have been a few technology and timing fails, so we haven't been able to discuss probation or anything properly yet. I have a lovely manager though.

I just wasn't expecting to feel so very homesick, I can't fathom it at all. It's good to know that maybe it's normal for other people too though?

Are you quite new in your career? Any change is hard - tech issues are the pits and when you start everything feels tricky.

Embarrassingly I'm quite the grown up and have no excuse!

I've been in work for 20 years - I moved around a lot early on but was almost 10 years with my last place. I was just younger and braver back then I think.

I could cry reading this! This basically describes me this week. Started new job yesterday and half way through the day yesterday a terrible feeling of homesickness came over me. I held it together until I got home and just burst into tears.

Was at my old job in one way or another for over 20 years. It all went to shit so it was time to move on.

Today was better, the people are nice however they are a long established, close knit team so it's going to take me a while to feel like I am truly part of that.

I'm plagued with regret but my old job was falling apart and I don't think I could have continued without damaging my mental health.

Like you OP, its very reassuring to read others feel the same.

Yes, I spent the first six months in the job I'm in now thinking that I'd made a terrible mistake. It didn't help that I'd joined at a really challenging time. I love my job now - best team I've ever worked in.

I cried on the way home for 3 weeks last time I changed jobs. Was fine after 3 months or so. Hang in there!

Yes! Started a new job this week. It's a promotion and everyone seems nice. Just so miss my old team and all the knowledge I had there. Feel quite sad and flat.

My dad always said if you feel comfortable or relaxed during your first six months, the job isn't enough of a stretch for you. Think about the specific things that could help including training/ better induction. By now it will cost an average £30k for them if you quit - much better to give them a chance to make it work.

@ThesecondLEM @StartupRepair  huge solidarity from me! It's good to know that it'll get better for us all soon.

@BeBraveAndBeKind @SillyLittleBiscuit thank you for sharing and encouraging!

@JennyForeigner "if you feel comfortable or relaxed during your first six months, the job isn't enough of a stretch for you" - this is a brilliant way of thinking about it! I think I have been relaxed in previous moves but none of them have been as big a leap.

I'm feeling a lot better this morning and think it's down to you lovely lot. Thank you so much for helping me with this (somewhat first-world and minor) problem, I'm grateful!

Totally normal, I went from being the person everyone referred to as I had the most knowledge and experience in my old job, to having an 18 year old have to show me how to crank a door handle.

I talk to everyone, ask questions and I'm enthusiastic about everything. It's exhausting, but I'm getting there. You will too.

I feel the same, started a new job on Monday and gone from knowing everything to knowing nothing. New team are lovely but I’m already missing the banter from the old workplace. I hate not knowing names and the way things work, ultimately I’m just impatient!

Feels like I’m living under a cloud at the moment but just got to push through. I’m looking forward to the weekend 🤣

Oh OP I totally get where you're coming from. I changed jobs a couple of years ago
I really loved my old place & team but new job was a big promotion & more money etc

The first few months were HORRIBLE & I couldn't shake the idea i'd made a huge mistake. I felt out of my depth & like I knew nothing. Then I was utterly overwhelmed trying to absorb it all as quickly as I could

One great thing someone told me is that those first few months are really precious because you see everything with clear eyes & fresh perspective so write everything down - make observations. Question everything (even privately) soon it will all become 2nd nature & you'll just accept things as they are on the basis of 'that's how they are
My role was to move the organisation on to the next level & I found this advice excellent. It gave me confidence in my newness & a purpose to it

Best of luck OP it's one day at time

Glad you are feeling a bit better today @newjobisthisnormal. It's such very early days for you.
The place I worked at the longest (10 years +), I actually went for two other interviews in the first few weeks, I hated it so much. I didn't get the other jobs and once I'd settled in after a few months, I actually grew to really love it.

Just another voice chiming in to reassure you that this is completely normal! I moved jobs a couple of years ago and I had that "WTF have I done" feeling for about the first six months. If I'd been offered my old job back at that point I would have taken it!
Now I've settled in and I'm really enjoying the job.

When you say you are homesick though, do you mean for your old job or have you actually relocated for the new job? Just asking as I've been there too and it does take ages to settle down in a new place. A new job and a new home both at once is a LOT.

In any case, be kind to yourself, take it one day at a time and celebrate your achievements, however small!

Totally normal.

I do consultancy work, so am constantly going to new companies. Every time I start a new role, I get a huge sensation of panic that I don't know the people/job/technology/processes. This has been exacerbated by Covid, because I'm working entirely remotely, so building up relationships is harder.

I started my current job 18 months ago, and am leaving soon. It was really hard terminating this contract as I love the people and the job, but every role has its cycle: Panic that the project that is a mess and I don't know how to fix it; bury myself in the job to understand it; sort out the mess and get it working again; boredom. I like to leave before boredom sets in.

every single time I have moved jobs I have felt this way. It usually gets better after a few weeks.

Normal I think. I'm in week 5 of a meeting job and feel a bit imposter-y as I don't quite know what I'm doing yet. The novelty of the commute is wearing off-am hoping it will pick up soon

I’m 6 months into a new role (secondment so same company and option to go back) and I think as others have said it took about 3 months not to feel like an imposter and only now would I truly say I am making a difference by myself and my opinion being taken seriously rather than doing what someone else has asked me to do

I've felt this way after every job I've started. I hate being nee.

Usually goes away after a few weeks. Except the time I quit and went back to my old job after two days but that was because I could tell within 10 mi utes of being there that the environment was toxic and I would hate it.