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Original poster

How do you politely correct pronunciation of your name

58 replies

sayithow · 08/11/2021 22:07

DS' name can be hard to pronounce if you don't know it. It's a proper name but it's not said as you would read it phonetically. Sometimes people get it a tiny bit wrong and while it doesn't bother me, it turns out it does bother DS a little. He's 5 and very shy so I'm trying to model appropriately asking for things that matter.

Except I can't seem to find a way of correcting people without sounding like I'm being difficult (when really neither of us are)

Slightly worse is the fact that a few family members and a couple of friends still say it wrong even though I have corrected them (it's really not hard to say - I understand why those who don't know get it wrong when they read it but once you've been told it's not tricky - school have never struggled for example)

Any tips?

OP posts:
waltzingparrot · 08/11/2021 22:16

Can you repeat his name straight back to them in a sentence, after they've mispronounced it.

Friend: I like xxxxx's shoes
You:. xxxxx chose those himself.

I think they'll hear the difference.

FlorenceNightshade · 08/11/2021 22:16

I have a name that’s mispronounced by most people when they first attempt it. I just correct them instantly and automatically “it’s Florence actually” or “it’s Florence not whatever they’ve said” I’m not rude just matter of fact.
Most people apologise, say it correctly and then that’s the end of it. Sometimes I get a bit of “ooh that’s unusual” or something and I just say yeah it’s a bit weird or sometimes I actually explain where it comes from depends on if I think the person is actually interested.
It used to drive me mad as a kid and I’d hate to be called the wrong thing but as I got older I gained the confidence to politely correct people.
My advice is to be consistent and correct people every time

elaeocarpus · 08/11/2021 22:21

I just repeat back correct pronunciation with my surname

"Yes Ms Elao..."
"Elaeo"

Original poster
sayithow · 08/11/2021 22:31

Ah repeating the name straight back! That's probably the solution.

It hasn't worked with some family members (I think they think I've developed a new accent and am saying his own name wrong HmmGrin) but repeating back with strangers should absolutely work.

Thank you, that was easier than I expected (and I don't know why i didn't work it out myself!)

OP posts:
SaintDrogo · 08/11/2021 22:34

I have a name that people usually struggle with ( it’s Gaelic, and I’m not at all surprised people struggle with it). I just correct them each time. “XXXXX, could you pass me the paperwork?”
“It’s YYYY, here you go.”
Usually only have to do it a couple of times. Can be trickier if it’s a name others have, for example I work with Leah (lay-ah) and my best friend has a daughter called Leah (Lee-ah). I’m so used to pronouncing it the way my colleague prefers that I’m constantly stumbling over saying it the way my friend does. Pretty sure I manage to correct myself most of the time, and she never lets on that it annoys her!

SickAndTiredAgain · 08/11/2021 22:37

It hasn't worked with some family members

To be honest, with family members who repeatedly get it wrong, despite presumably having been verbally told the name when your son was born and then hearing you say multiple times, you can just say, “that isn’t right you know, it’s xxx”
If it was my mother or uncle or whoever, that’s what I’d do.

Lochroy · 08/11/2021 22:38

Yes, repeat straight back immediately. It got much easier once I started doing this and stopped overthinking about the hypothetical embarrassment which might arise if I corrected them, especially with colleagues. Now it's done and dusted quickly and we move on. Most remember and some it's every conversation.

Typically on a zoom call:
Them: 'Oh hi Sara' or 'I'm going to handover to Sara now'
Me: 'It's Sara' (pronouncing it correctly for my way)
Them: 'I'm sorry' (or similar)
Me: 'No problem' and I carry on

Original poster
sayithow · 08/11/2021 23:04

Thank you Smile

The family thing is weird. I've told them explicitly, they hear me, DH and My mum say it the right way but still ... I'll keep trying with that one.

But at least we've figured out the way with strangers Smile for now.

OP posts:
tectonicplates · 08/11/2021 23:32

Actually, with family members I do think you should be a bit more insistent about it, and don't worry about being seen as "difficult". They're family members and it's just fucking rude to not even bother learning how to spell or pronounce someone's name. I know it's different if it's a new person who's never met him but FGS, how can family be so disrespectful? There are certain members of my family who keep spelling my DH's name wrong in invitations - it's a foreign name that's unknown in this country, and it's almost as if they're making a point by not even being bothered to learn it properly, like he's some kind of secondary member of the family who doesn't really matter.

Hortonhearsadoctorwho · 08/11/2021 23:35

My son has an easy name but one that’s misheard for another (think Theo/Leo) I always say it back but sometimes I’m fed up and just say ‘it’s xxxx actually’

jewel1968 · 08/11/2021 23:44

My name is routinely mispronounced or they use my surname. Whilst my name is uncommon it is very phonetic. A person asks my name, I tell them and they repeat it but incorrectly (close but wrong). I say it again and they still get it wrong. I can't be bothered any more. It bothers my friends more than me which is sweet of them but honestly I can't be arsed anymore. So I guess what I am saying is even when you correct people they will get it wrong.

RandomMess · 08/11/2021 23:51

Also is there something it does sound like?

Friend called Ayesha used to say think "eye"- she pointing at her eye and that helped it click.

Original poster
sayithow · 09/11/2021 00:38

I think I haven't been insistent enough with family and now it feels too late after 5 years Shock I guess now it matters to him that I have to take it more seriously

OP posts:
RaisedByPangolins · 09/11/2021 00:47

I would just say “it really bothers xx when people mispronounce his name like that. It’s xx. How do you say it xx?” And get him to repeat it to them. Every time. Rude buggers.

It’s one thing strangers not getting it, but your own bloody family is a bit much!

People mispronounce my DS’s name. I always used to say “it’s xx to rhyme with yy”. But apparently I pronounce yy wrong too Grin

starofwonder · 09/11/2021 00:51

My DS has a Gaelic name and would very quickly correct people from about age 4. 'It's xxx rhymes with yyy not a rhymes with b'. People seemed to pay more attention when it came from him rather than me!

FlightOfHares · 09/11/2021 01:02

Quite honestly the best response is to be nice the first time and difficult everytime thereafter.

Turtles25 · 09/11/2021 01:18

My friend is called Imogen. It astonishes me when she gets called Imogin

CheeseMmmm · 09/11/2021 01:29

I dunno OP. It's a sod having a name that gets pronounced wrong all the time.

He's going to get this all his life. Two options-

Correct each time. Get him understanding this will happen and how to politely correct. Etc.

Leave it. It's going to happen a lot and shrugging about it saves a lot of hassle. I know so many esp work who take that approach.

Does he notice/ mind about pronunciation? If not and you say he's shy, I'd let it go. He can make his own mind up when older. Whether he minds or not.

CheeseMmmm · 09/11/2021 01:34

Oh sorry seen it does bother him a bit.

Realistically at school this must happen a fair bit?

In all honesty I'd take the it's not a big deal approach. Otherwise 5yo shy school etc he's going to have a hell of s time. Say it's not them doing it on purpose etc some people just aren't good at remembering.

At work I always ask and try but some are tricky! I have asked why not bothered about eg 4 different ways of saying at work and they shrug. More trouble than worth iyswim.

Just my view and different to others obv! Up to you OP, and how ds feels and etc.

verymiddleaged · 09/11/2021 03:11

My friend is called Imogen. It astonishes me when she gets called Imogin

I would pronounce it that way. Pronunciation is very regional and language based. It is rarely a malicious thing.

ThirdElephant · 09/11/2021 06:23

Just teach him to say, 'That's not my name. My name is xxxxxxx.'

People who are repeatedly pronouncing it incorrectly won't get a subtle hint and there's nothing rude about stating a fact. Plus, little kids can get away with being blunt.

Starryskiesinthesky · 09/11/2021 06:30

@verymiddleaged

My friend is called Imogen. It astonishes me when she gets called Imogin

I would pronounce it that way. Pronunciation is very regional and language based. It is rarely a malicious thing.

I’ve only ever known it to be pronounced immmogin!
Mybalconyiscracking · 09/11/2021 06:30

I always say “Actually it’s pronounced “bleah”, but I’m not responsible for it, I married it!”

GoodnightGrandma · 09/11/2021 06:30

My FIL used to deliberately say my child’s name wrong. We went low contact and the kids haven’t seen him for about 5 years

Turtles25 · 09/11/2021 23:51

@verymiddleaged

My friend is called Imogen. It astonishes me when she gets called Imogin

I would pronounce it that way. Pronunciation is very regional and language based. It is rarely a malicious thing.

Its the family and friends that live in the same area as her that call her Imogin