How do you politely correct pronunciation of your name

[sayithow]

DS' name can be hard to pronounce if you don't know it. It's a proper name but it's not said as you would read it phonetically. Sometimes people get it a tiny bit wrong and while it doesn't bother me, it turns out it does bother DS a little. He's 5 and very shy so I'm trying to model appropriately asking for things that matter.

Except I can't seem to find a way of correcting people without sounding like I'm being difficult (when really neither of us are)

Slightly worse is the fact that a few family members and a couple of friends still say it wrong even though I have corrected them (it's really not hard to say - I understand why those who don't know get it wrong when they read it but once you've been told it's not tricky - school have never struggled for example)

Any tips?

Mine is unusual and I am so used to correcting people that I just smile and say it my way and I don’t even notice anymore. By late secondary school the whole class would chorus the right pronunciation for new teachers!

My son is 28 years old and my dm still pronounces his not difficult surname incorrectly. I was incredulous for the first few years, it’s harder to get wrong than right!
Some people apparently struggle with names….or manners 🙄

I still repeat it back to her complete with a simple everyday word that it rhymes with but it’s just stubbornness at this point.

not sure why you are worried about politeness or appearing to be difficult.

just correct it "sorry but his name is pronounced xyz".

I'm Hungarian and although my name is easy to say it's not spelled the English way.
I always have to spell it out and check it carefully on official forms.
especially medical ones: I've had to havd blood re-drawn ones because of incorrect spelling on vial didn't match the rest of the documentation.
Now I just ask to check.
Would you consider that rude or difficult?

@Turtles25

My friend is called Imogen. It astonishes me when she gets called Imogin

Me too = Imogin

Anyway, I really think you just correct people the first time.

'Good ear! You nearly got it!'

YYY to Zing - I check documents and paperwork, and correct people who get it wrong the first time. When people ask me to spell it I do a tinkly little laugh and provide a word in English that it rhymes with instead.

@jewel1968

My name is routinely mispronounced or they use my surname. Whilst my name is uncommon it is very phonetic. A person asks my name, I tell them and they repeat it but incorrectly (close but wrong). I say it again and they still get it wrong. I can't be bothered any more. It bothers my friends more than me which is sweet of them but honestly I can't be arsed anymore. So I guess what I am saying is even when you correct people they will get it wrong.

Same here. My last name is short and the same spelling and pronunciation as a fairly well known place that everyone pronounces correctly.

Say my name was Yorke (it's not) and I was visiting a client, I would arrive at the reception desk and say 'Hello I am Sarah Yorke, that's Y O R K E and I'm here to see Ms X' and the receptionist will phone Ms X and say 'Sarah Yorky is here to see you' and then issue me with a name badge with Sarah York written on it. Every fucking time.

It's infuriating and at the same time fascinating as to how just about everyone can hear my name and the spelling and within 30 seconds both say and spell it incorrectly.

I remember meeting another person with the same last name a few years ago and he said to me 'Hello I'm Bill Yorke, that's Y O R K E' and we laughed because we'd both had exactly the same lifelong experience with our names.

Can anyone explain what is going on here?

Half the time I don't bother. When's I can be bothered I say in a light hearted way it's xxx actually but don't worry, everyone gets it wrong

There's a difference when it's a subtlty of accent and completely wrong.

Refusing to get the right Sara does deserve repeated correction.
Nit picking over James being one syllable or Jay-ums where there's a subtle accent difference that people can't articulate between one version and another will just get peoples' backs up.

When I did supply teaching and had to remember hundreds of names I always asked pupils to tell me their favoured version (long/ short) and to correct me the first time I did the register and as necessary afterwards, but sometimes my "errors" were just having a different accent and not being able to mimic their localised variation. That's different to not bothering to learn and saying the first name that comes into your head.

My name is Rebecca. I work in healthcare in a call centre. I am very often called Rachel by people I have just introduced myself to. It's happened forever. There's a Rachel in the office who says people often call her Rebecca. Bloody weird.
I just say "Rebecca" directly after they say the wrong name and we move on. It happens surprisingly often and is irritating.

Does it rhyme with anything? It makes a connection in the brain that is easier for people to remember and use.

Eg "this is Catriona, rhymes with Fiona" or this is "Louis, rhymes with gooey".

Catriona, rhymes with Fiona

Is that right? I once phoned a client and asked for Ca Tree Oh Na and was rather tersely told by her PA that it was pronounced Katrina.

Yep, Catriona is Katrina.

I have a name that’s unusual in my country and I find that even when I correct people, often they still get it wrong! I really like never having met someone with the same name as me though, so it’s just one of these things with an unusual name. Some people are just not good with names/ new sounds, it doesn’t bother me.

I don't bother anymore. My Dr and one of dh best friends pronounce my name wrong, they've heard my name spoken out loud lots and my dd10 has corrected both of them but no luck. I don't give a shite anymore.

Say it was Caralyn, so pronounced cara-lyn. They call me Ca-Ralyn.

This is really hard. I know as PIL pronounced my name wrongly for a few years, and then, when DH spoke to them privately to point this out, they decided that they would call me a diminutive of my name to make it easier for them. A diminutive which I've never used.

I really don't like that they use the diminutive so that they can avoid using the correct pronunciation.

It think it is easier in some situations to advocate for someone else though, so I think you should just say 'we say his name like this'.

I have a weird name that people used to pronounce incorrectly. (It's a bit more common these days so people get it wrong less). I always used to simply give them the correct version and diffuse it by saying something like "...but I'll answer to almost anything".

My DF has always mispronounced my 19y/o dd's name (it's a name that is sometimes pronounced with an 's' sound, sometimes with a 'z'), it's never bothered me, he depends a a lot on lip reading & I think it's probably due to that. But he's a lovely person and a wonderful grandad, so I don't think dd sees it as anything other than the way he speaks :)

My surname I don't even bother. If people ask me how it's spelt unless there's some official reason they need it I usually suggest they write down how it sounds to them, otherwise it just confuses things.

If someone has it written & hasn't heard it said, unless they're Irish then 99% of the time they mispronounce it, but I cba to worry about it.

First name - if it's misheard then I just say it back correctly if it's someone I'll deal with again in future (I often get a male equivalent if I'm wearing work clothes) but don't bother if it's a one off.

I have lived in a country where both my first and surname were very tricky though, so well used to just going with the nearest equivalent!

@BarbaraofSeville

Catriona, rhymes with Fiona

Is that right? I once phoned a client and asked for Ca Tree Oh Na and was rather tersely told by her PA that it was pronounced Katrina.

It is usually, but I went to school with a Catriona pronounced ka-tree-oh-na so I remember a lot of occasions where she had to correct teachers etc! I remember thinking she must be really fed up having to do that nearly every day.

I feel for you. My family is the same. I can repeat my dogs name until I'm blue in the face and they (sister and mum) still pronounce it incorrectly. Even when I say just call him a shortened nickname we use for him, they insist on using the full incorrect one!

So when naming my son I made sure to pick a name that is never going to be mispronounced. It's name everyone has heard of, there are no other ways to pronounce it and it's pronounced phonetically . If I hadn't I think I would have gone mad.

Start with repeating it straight back.

If that doesn’t work then “Just so you know, it correct pronunciation” or “his name is actually correct pronunciation” or “by the way it’s correct pronunciation”

I used to correct people about confusion over my name - after many years I've stopped bothering. My daughters have never bothered.

We all get called by our surname which is a female first name.

It's stopped annoying me now.

Think male equivalent Edward Charles and being called Charles all the time. I don't know anyone who would write their name back to front - for instance signing off an email/communication as Kind regards, Smith John.

Yes to repeating it straight back - my surname is not English and when they say, in a phone call, for example, "Hello, is that Mrs Colleen92?" I reply with "Correct pronunciation, yes, hello..."
People usually apologise and will often - not always - attempt to pronounce it correctly when doing so.

@NanaPorsche prior to getting married I had a female first name and my middle name was also a surname.
I got called surname middle name a lot with no first name a lot.
With lots of letters and emails using my surname.

Now I have a super dull surname and slightly miss it!

@verymiddleaged

My friend is called Imogen. It astonishes me when she gets called Imogin

I would pronounce it that way. Pronunciation is very regional and language based. It is rarely a malicious thing.

Eh? How is Imogen meant to be pronounced then?