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Original poster

Have you lost the enthusiasm for stuff like bonfire night as your DC have reached their teens?

74 replies

Dragonfire282 · 05/11/2021 21:12

DS is 13, I've always made an effort with Easter, halloween, bonfire night etc however he's rapidly losing interest. We did pumpkins this year but he didn't want to go to a field. He's going to a fireworks display tomorrow with his friends family but he's not particularly enthusiastic about it. As his enthusiasm is waning I feel like mine is too. Is this the norm or do families still make an effort with all these things as the kids hit their teens?

OP posts:

Youcancallmeval · 05/11/2021 21:14

I wasn't a fan pre DC, but once I was a parent I became an unrecognisable me in terms of cheerleading for every sodding event. Now mine is 16, I find a bit of me is sad that those things have lost importance, but I'm increasingly getting over it!

Cassimin · 05/11/2021 21:15

Was just talking with my friend about this.
We’re so happy to be sitting in, nice and warm with a bottle of wine.
Looking forward to booking nice holidays child free.
Ooo I love this chapter of my life.

BurnedToast · 05/11/2021 21:15

Funnily enough I was just saying to the DCs aged 13 and 16 that this is the first year where we haven't gone to a firework display.

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Original poster

Dragonfire282 · 05/11/2021 21:22

Yes this is exactly how I'm feeling! I've put so much effort in over the years and DS really loved it all. We made a guy faulks every year, Easter egg hunts, Halloween parties, everything and now he's just not arsed and I'm not arsed either. I'd rather be cosy at home but I wonder if I should be encouraging things more or just letting it naturally stop? I've run out of steam for it all though.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 05/11/2021 21:26

I definitely felt the pressure was off. If they wanted to go we'd take them, but if they weren't bothered then great.
Soon enough they were taking themselves off to Bonfire and firework displays and we weren't involved at all.
Don't have to butcher a Pumpkin annually any more and I don't miss it one bit.

Hallowbat · 05/11/2021 21:27

No I love fireworks more than the kids anyway, we’ve got tickets for a big display tomorrow night (3 teens & a tween here)

BurnedToast · 05/11/2021 21:29

I don't miss it either. Been there and worn the t shirt of Easter egg hunts , cutting pumpkins, decorating the house for Halloween and fireworks night. I don't even think DD will want a stocking this year.

Riverlee · 05/11/2021 21:30

Talking to colleagues at work with young children made me almost wistful for those family events. Note, I say ‘almost’, because I’m also more than happy to stay indoors.

It’s harder to make Christmas more special though.

Riverlee · 05/11/2021 21:30

@BurnedToast

Nooo, you can’t not do a stocking!

RampantIvy · 05/11/2021 21:31

DD is 21. She went to a firework display in her university city this evening. She has always loved Halloween. In fact she loves it more than Christmas. They always have a Halloween party in their student house. Even last year when it was just their household.

If anything, it is Christmas and new year that is always the underwhelming season. We have no build up to Christmas - no school productions, carol services, Christingle, visits to Santa's grotto etc.
Just catching up with lectures, revision, exam stress and tiredness. Most of DD's local friends have moved on so her social life is pretty non existent at home.

Rocketpants50 · 05/11/2021 21:34

My 14 year old said she refuses to celebrate a terrorist and fireworks are bad for wildlife, pets & the environmen.
I am quite pleased that I can stay in with my g&t on my sofa.

Sparklingbrook · 05/11/2021 21:40

My advice to people having their first DC would be to be careful what you start unless you want to be doing it forever.
I never did stockings for my two at Christmas, they are 21 and 18 now and i'm still trying to get out of buying them an advent calendar each.

secretbookcase · 05/11/2021 21:43

Was just thinking tonight - this is the first year we haven't bothered with Bonfire Night in 16 years, as DC are both late teens now. I didn't even go outside to look at the sky when all the bangs were going off. Happy inside.

bigbluebus · 05/11/2021 21:45

I did buy DS a pumpkin to carve this year but only to put in the window for the children in the street. He's never been a big fan if fire works anyway so only once went to a big display. I did do an Easter egg hunt in the garden this year as some friends were coming for lunch. DS and one of our friends had a mad half hour hunting for the eggs to see who could collect the most! DS is now in his 20's and friend is 42!
Be led by them and do what they want to do or accept they've grown out of it if they don't want to. TBH I'm relieved not to be forking out for 'santa experience' tickets - it was a free visit at the garden centre back in the day!

didireallysaythat · 05/11/2021 21:45

You've done well to make it this far. I don't think we've done an Easter egg hunt since DS1 was 4, and DS2 has never seen Santa Claus at a garden centre or whatever. I think most of these things become less interesting when your kids reach 5 or 6 to be honest.

Hoolihan · 05/11/2021 21:45

The year they don't want a stocking I will honestly die of grief. I don't care about any of the rest of it, have never really gone to town on Halloween or Easter or fireworks but I get so so much joy out of doing their stockings. Watching them open them, even now, is the best thing. I hope I've got a few years yet.

TawnyPippit · 05/11/2021 21:46

I think its ages and stages. I’ve done many years of dressing up the front of the house, having pumpkin lanterns on obvious and welcoming view, and having many bowls of celebrations/miniature heroes for Halloween. That was both for people we knew and people we didn’t.

My DCs are now 20 and 18. This year on Halloween my oldest DC was back from uni fleetingly and we were having a nice family dinner on the Sunday evening so I switched our front lights off and we had nothing prepared. It felt like we had moved on personally and had done our time communally on the Halloween slopes. What I found very heartening was firstly that no one rang our doorbell as our lights were off, and secondly, that the house down the road where they have younger children (and who my DC baby sit for) had dressed up their front with scene of crime tape etc just like we used to. It felt like we had moved on to a new life stage, had passed the baton, and I think that is good.

SnowWhitesSM · 05/11/2021 21:46

My dc pander to my love of fireworks and we've just got back from a display. It was lovely. They're 14 and 15. I miss the primary school run up to Christmas. Apart from that it's lovely that they do their own thing most of the time and have their own friends.

SickAndTiredAgain · 05/11/2021 21:48

I wasn't a fan pre DC, but once I was a parent I became an unrecognisable me in terms of cheerleading for every sodding event.

I was thinking this earlier as I stood at the window holding toddler DD pointing up at the fireworks saying how lovely they were. I hate fireworks. I don’t know why I was pretending to like them, especially since she didn’t care (she’s 2.5).

Thankfully she asked me to close the curtains after a few minutes, so maybe my firework hatred is genetic.

Ragwort · 05/11/2021 21:50

I've never liked fireworks and I never took my DS to any firework displays, left that to my DH so they always had lovely nights out at a firework party and I stayed at home with a glass bottle of wine and a good book or film . I have never seen the appeal of standing around outside in a damp field, getting cold & miserable but trying to look as if you are enjoying yourself.

AliceAldridge · 05/11/2021 21:51

I had a stocking til I got married! And we will always do an egg hunt. Halloween and fireworks night I will be able to do without. Not a fan, despite some nice bonfire night memories as a small child.

Sparklingbrook · 05/11/2021 21:54

I never had a stocking so didn't do them for my own DC. Also never did an Easter Egg hunt, it just wasn't anything I was aware of. Just bought chocolate eggs and gave them to the DC.

Although if I were starting over would I have to be doing Elf on the Shelf, Christmas Eve Boxes with new pyjamas and stuff now?

AliceAldridge · 05/11/2021 21:57

God no. Never done Elf or Xmas boxes. That's a tradition too far for me.

FVFrog · 05/11/2021 22:01

My DD22 and I went to a torchlight procession and bonfire and fireworks tonight. We had a lovely evening and watched the fireworks with a mulled wine. It was very low stress, I didn’t envy the parents grappling with young kids!

Sparklingbrook · 05/11/2021 22:02

I can't decide whether I'd do them or not if I had small DC now. I wonder if they are one of those things that you feel you have to because everyone else in their class has Elf on the Shelf/Christmas Eve boxes etc
But I don't think they's be that fussed about a new pair of pyjamas and we have hot chocolate all year round so they's possibly be a bit 'meh' anyway.

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