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Original poster

Have you lost the enthusiasm for stuff like bonfire night as your DC have reached their teens?

74 replies

Dragonfire282 · 05/11/2021 21:12

DS is 13, I've always made an effort with Easter, halloween, bonfire night etc however he's rapidly losing interest. We did pumpkins this year but he didn't want to go to a field. He's going to a fireworks display tomorrow with his friends family but he's not particularly enthusiastic about it. As his enthusiasm is waning I feel like mine is too. Is this the norm or do families still make an effort with all these things as the kids hit their teens?

OP posts:

Tumbleweed101 · 06/11/2021 07:59

I’ve got four children, eldest is 23 and youngest is 12. I feel that we are finally phasing out of it all as the two younger ones lose interest. It’s strange for me though after 23yrs of doing all the events. Bittersweet I guess but not unwelcome. There will be time to do it again when grandchildren come along in the future so I’m going to enjoy having less pressure for a while.

waltzingparrot · 06/11/2021 08:07

It's just a standard life stage. You'll probably be togging up and heading out with the grandchildren and getting excited for Christmas again at some point in the future. Enjoy your wine filled, girls' nights in for now.

Aderyn21 · 06/11/2021 08:13

I've never done 'everything' - I think elf on a shelf is quite sinister tbh and I never saw the point of Halloween decorations (surely the point of decoration is to make your house look better ). I also don't like trick or treating - we tell our kids all year not to speak to strangers and then actively encourage them to accept sweets from them on Halloween

I did always do a Halloween tea with themed food and I did do the pumpkin carving with them and buy costumes. But I'm glad the kids are older and all I have to do now is let DD have her friends over, with a ton of sweets and Netflix.
Bonfire night was more stress than fun with small children but we always did it. It's nicer now because youngest is 14 and I don't have to worry about her grabbing a sparkler. I still enjoy proper displays and would go even when the kids left home I think.
Re Christmas it is hard to make it magical once they grow up. I still do stockings and fully decorate but now they all have their own money and can just buy what they want, it's not the same.

I agree with a pp about being selective - what seems like a sweet idea when you have 1 child can become expensive and time consuming if you have more children.

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Aderyn21 · 06/11/2021 08:14

I have to say though, I'm really missing the primary school Christmas play and carol concert - those things felt like Christmas!

Santastuckincustoms · 06/11/2021 08:16

My DC are under 6 and I hate that they're not really ready to stand in the cold at a display for hours just yet and I can't leave them to go myself. I can't wait until they can stay at home and I can go!

BigSandyBalls2015 · 06/11/2021 08:19

Me and DH were away last weekend. Our 20 year old DD rang us on the Sunday (Halloween) asking where the ‘tools’ were for carving a pumpkin . I told her we had binned all that years ago … she had lugged a massive pumpkin home

BurnedToast · 06/11/2021 08:23

I find Christmas a bit flat now, as there's less excitement and no lead up. But we've decided to add our own new tradition of a posh restaurant on Christmas Eve.

This was the first year neither of my DCs trick or treated or took part in Halloween. I got all nostalgic and felt a duty to have sweets for the next generation of kids. The bell started ringing at 4.30 and by 6 I insisted the kids took all the sweets and took the decorations down and turned off the lights as I was sick of getting up and down like a yoyo!

ilovebagpuss · 06/11/2021 08:24

Bonfire night to me was best when you are in your mid teens having a few drinks and staying out late. With children the reality was always so different to the expectation! Either scared, cold or needing a long trek to find the loo it never seemed worth it. Then they would see little friends and want to run off and play and I would be standing straining to check them in the little group of kids in the dark.

Now I finally realise its hard work that one. We always go if they want to and I’ve always done all the traditions and made them special so I know they have nice memories but I’m glad when no one wants to go to the bonfire. Thought I’d got away with it this year as DD 14 is working but then DD12 announced she wants to go tonight to our local one.

Flubbah · 06/11/2021 08:30

As an adult (pre-kids) I still liked to go to the fireworks display but was more likely to have a meal in a pub afterwards and a few drinks. I still carved a pumpkin, mostly for Instagram photos. I still liked a good costume party although it would be adults only. I still exchanged Easter eggs with close family and had a nice lamb dinner. And I still went to the pantomime every year! I don’t think those things necessarily have to stop as someone grows up. Now I have kids those events are more focused on being child friendly, less alcohol and more sweets and games. Maybe the issue is that parents are still doing the events in a childish way for DC that are almost grown up.

Imissmoominmama · 06/11/2021 08:30

I hate fireworks because they upset one of our dogs, but last night I lit the firepit in the garden and cooked my dinner over it, then sat with a glass of wine and one of the dogs who doesn’t mind fireworks. It was nice.

I also carved a pumpkin for Halloween because I enjoy it and I have a great recipe for a pumpkin pasta sauce.

Christmas, I detest, so it’s a long hike, followed by a family dinner at an Indian restaurant.

There’s a food theme forming here… .

I did all of these events with great gusto when my kids were small, but I’m enjoying doing them my way now.

Rainbowsew · 06/11/2021 08:33

No I'm I went the fireworks last night with a friend instead!

But I'm sad they're losing interest. It was a nice few years for me legitimately being allowed to get excited I loved all the festivals pre kids but DH was never bothered, so it was always me leading it when kids were young anyway.

holidaynearlyover · 06/11/2021 08:34

Mine are 15 and 13, they still love all this but have adapted what they do.

So for Halloween they organised a party with friends, they planned some games they all loved but no trick or treating.

We'll be watching fireworks with friends too as it's a community tradition.

My children though are very much homebirds still

holidaynearlyover · 06/11/2021 08:35

@didireallysaythat

You've done well to make it this far. I don't think we've done an Easter egg hunt since DS1 was 4, and DS2 has never seen Santa Claus at a garden centre or whatever. I think most of these things become less interesting when your kids reach 5 or 6 to be honest.

Mine still did one this year and are teenagers 🤣

MrsLargeEmbodied · 06/11/2021 08:36

my dc went to see firework display with university friends, great for her, she no longer lives at home

i stayed at home and tried to keep the ddog calm with classic fm.
i did wonder if i could go to a display with dh but not sure how ddog would react on her own

EdgeOfTheSky · 06/11/2021 08:40

They stop taking part as a family, but then pick it up themselves.

This week I have seen my student DC’s Insta accounts (which they think I never looked at) full of pics of them at Halloween party, they sent me pics of the Diwali feast and decorations they arranged for friends, and they went to a good vantage point to see fireworks across the city.

It’s nice to see them carrying on traditions in their own way.

MrsJBaptiste · 06/11/2021 08:51

I have a 14 and 17 yeat old and to be fair, I've never been into Easter or Halloween so we've not noticed those 'events' change as they've got older.

We have been to a few fireworks displays but this year got a box to have in the garden just to drag them off their phones for 10 minutes! The fireworks were rubbish which actually made for a fun evening as there were plenty of laughs about our budget box compared to all the other amazing fireworks we could see! They were embarassed to admit that they did want a sparkler but I have photographic evidence for the future 😅

Luckily, we're all still into Christmas so will be excited for that - the tree, decorations, stockings, Christmas films - then they'll be back on their phones for the next 11 months!

HemanOrSheRa · 06/11/2021 08:56

DS is 16. He went out with a group of friends for a meal and to the cinema. I dropped him off and picked him up. In between trips I snuggled down with my kindle and 4 dogs listening to Classic FM. It was lovely!

I love Christmas so carry on with all the christmassy things whether DS likes it or not . 'Santa' still brings his stocking and he asks for a list, via me, around October time .

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/11/2021 09:22

I’ve always done a stocking for dds however grown up, if they’re here on Christmas Eve - and for anyone else in the house.

Among other things for older dds, always new socks and pants - one of them said she always loved the nice new socks and pants on Chr, Day.

Dh and I still do one for each other too - it’s the law here. 🎄

Acinonyx2 · 06/11/2021 10:09

DD now 16 - last year dh and I ended up at the door with the sweets while she sat with her friend on their phones - so I said that's enough of that and we opted out this year. Local short fireworks were cancelled but would have gone there - but not further. None of us a that keen.

I love Xmas though and hope we still have some fun with that. We have our own traditions including NO Xmas dinner (bleugh). I was very ambivalent about the whole Santa thing and was quite relieved when dd sussed that out at 7. We do stockings. We're doing only home-made and used goods this year (dd just got an outrageously expensive pc upgrade so seems fair enough) and I'm not especially skilled in the making dept so thinking about that.

GrandmasCat · 06/11/2021 10:11

I lost it since I have dogs.

LetHimHaveIt · 06/11/2021 10:16

I'm thrilled to bits that my kids have never had any real interest in it all. For start I fucking detest bonfires as they make me think of people being out to death particularly horribly, and I don't go a bundle of fireworks, either. A nearby village - very pretty - always used to put on a good show if you like that sort of thing, but it was still a lot of stressing out trying to park, trudging through mud, being bloody cold, and queuing for very run-of-the-mill burgers.

Bbq1 · 06/11/2021 10:55

Still have a stocking from my mum and I'm in my late forties! I do mum, dh and ds, 16 a stocking and always will. It is sad when you realise the belief in Father Christmas has passed and trips out to the grotto etc are no more. I think it's a case of growing with your dc. We are close to our dc and he still enjoys spending time with us sometimes and like me, is into the festivities! Halloween we carved a pumpkin which we always do and last night had a few fireworks and some sparklers on the garden.

Iheartbaby · 06/11/2021 11:03

@Rocketpants50

My 14 year old said she refuses to celebrate a terrorist and fireworks are bad for wildlife, pets & the environmen. I am quite pleased that I can stay in with my g&t on my sofa.

It’s not celebrating a terrorist it’s celebrating the fact he was found before he could do the terrorist act.

But I agree with her regarding animals and environment

PermanentTemporary · 06/11/2021 11:09

Ds is 17 and this is the first year we gave Halloween a total miss, though he was at his ex girlfriends' mum's birthday party so they may have done some stuff there. I was out last night and he's out tonight so if he wants fireworks he can go to them.

It feels a tiny bit bleak but mostly just amazing that in the middle of a very stressful time with ill elderly relatives, I don't have to do all these things.

I do love Christmas in my own way but even that is fairly stripped down by modern standards, essentially it's lots of holly and ivy, music, stockings, a present each and a big meal. I have no intention of stopping ds's stocking, ever.

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