How can I best support my 3 year old with sensory processing issues

[DoubleGlouceater]

A paediatrician recently picked up on some of ds’s ‘quirks’ and has diagnosed him with sensory processing disorder and has suggested an autism referral. They also recommended getting a private OT in, which we will struggle with due to cost.
What can I do to help ds in the meantime, whilst we await a referral?

Behaviours are

• Pretty limited diet and refusal to try new foods and drink
• poor eye contact sometimes
• strong dislike of hair brushing, hair cuts and tooth brushing - tantrums every time, which is pretty hard going
• hitting and growling when things don’t go his way, tantrums often
• terrified of hand dryers
• constantly sticking hand up his own jumper/down trousers/sticking hand in other people’s sleeves
• thumb sucking
• rigid expectations and dislike when things go differently to expected
• would always prefer to stay at home rather than go out
• obsessions with certain tv programmes
• bath water has to be very cold
• doesn’t like unbalanced surfaces
• won’t wear jeans

Thanks for any advice.

Is there an NHS OT you can be referred to?

There's a great book called too fast, too bright, too loud, too tight which is all about sensory processing disorder.

A visual picture timetable of his day would help him to know the routine.some fidget toys for him to hold when he has to sit or is in distress. Social stories books about hitting.change toothpaste flavour.buy new exciting toothbrush with favourite things program on it. Allow time and space for them to calm down.ear defenders for hand dryers. A few ideas.

Did you go to the paediatrician because of these behaviours? I recognise about 80% of these in my son and just thought it was normal toddler behaviour?!

Oh wow thank you for the speedy replies and ideas!
No NHS OT for children in our area unfortunately.

@dcpc21 no, we didn’t go to the paediatrician about these behaviours - it was a follow up from an a and e visit. She noticed how he was whilst we were there and asked me more.

I have often wondered if there is more to his behaviour than just being a bit difficult. The only thing that differs really is my son can't bear being at home, he loves to be out and about and busy and always has done. As a 1 year old he would stand at the door and scream until someone literally took him for a walk like a dog! Strange you mention cold baths, I don't know how he stands it! He also has his hand continually down his trousers. And of course the hair brushing, that is real tears every single day. Ashamed to say I have to leave the teeth until the evening if it's too much! And don't even get me started on food. His diet is so bizarre. I have force fed ice cream because he doesn't recognise it he just refuses it, he has no idea what's he's missing! It was a constant battle morning noon and night and now I just give in to his demands. Do you think I should be doing more to help in this sense?

@CrumbsThatsQuick

Is there an NHS OT you can be referred to?

If it’s my area or somewhere similar the nhs don’t cover ot for sensory issues, it’s private or nothing

@dcpc21 bless him! Gosh those are interesting similarities.
On the food front, the paediatrician told us not to worry too much about types of food right now but just to concentrate on getting the calories in. She is going to get us a dietician appointment as well though. I am lucky in that he will take a chewy multivitamin, which makes me feel a bit better!

See if there are any local charities that cover SEN issues. We have one in our area that offers support and advice.

My daughter has sensory issues and waiting a possible ASD diagnosis (she is older) and much of what we have learned to manage the sensory is through trial and error of what works for us and her.
Trying to put foods out buffet style with stuff they like and a small amount of stuff they won’t try.
Sensory stories that you repeatedly read to them to help them understand the need for certain activities (e.g. teeth cleaning/hair brushing), a nursery nurse helped me write one for wearing different shoes and I have just found that the website Twinkl do a lot (albeit you have to subscribe). Probably can find examples of ones on line that you can amend to suit your needs.
For us reward charts help a lot, daughter earns stars if she manages a difficult activity and enough stars earn reward. I just have to be matter of fact about it and not lose my patience or push too hard.

All of your list apart from 4 of them, I would describe as my dd as having as a toddler, she was diagnosed with high functioning autism at 11.

Don't freak out too much about the food situation. Even now my dd will only eat a very limited number of foods and only 2 vegetables and 2 fruits.I made sure she had vitamins every day.A lot of it is to do with texture. Write a list of foods your child likes and just vary it slightly with other foods they like on different days. With my dd I would ask if she would try a bite or 2 of a different food each week - if she didn't I didn't stress over it. My dd sticks to water or one type of squash and that's it which is fine by me.

Hypersensitivity to noise is a problem. My dd couldn't cope with hand-dryers either so we didn't use them. She would wash her hands then we would dry them outside of the toilet area with a couple of paper towels I kept in my bag.

Soft to touch clothes are important and a comfort for sensory processing. It took me years to realise why my dd wasn't wearing a lot of the clothes I bought. I eventually realised she always chose the soft chenille type fabrics with no seams.to this day she will not wear jeans. To her they are stiff and uncomfortable and annoy her skin.The softer the clothes the better.

Toothbrushing- get a fun toothbrush and a timer. Kids with ASD like routine. Tell him it's a game to see how well he can clean his teeth in 2 minutes.My dd liked the strawberry sweeter tasting kids toothpaste never the mint.

The hairbrushing/haircuts thing can be a sensory issue. There are some hairdressers who accommodate kids with ASD. If not have a hairdresser come to you and give him a figit toy with lots of praise when his hair is being cut. You may need to change whatever your using to brush the hair. My dd prefers wide tooth tangle tamer brush. Could you cut his hair? I cut my dd's hair she did go to the hair dressers as a toddler but for years now she wants me to cut her hair.

Not coping when things change can be an issue. It's always good to explain beforehand what's happening next but also say what may change lady minute but the change will be ok and he will be safe. Maybe put a planner on his wall so he can see what is done on different days.

The staying at home preference is common. Too many people in social situations can be overwhelming to a child with ASD. My dd now still prefers being at home. If you write when you are going out in the planner this may help.

My dd still has obsessions with certain TV programs. This is quite common. What helped though was that she only watche them at certain times then did something else.

The cold bath water is probably a sensory issue on the skin.unless it's going to cause a health problem I wouldn't worry about it. My dd's showers are freezing in comparison to mine.As long as they get clean it doesn't matter.

Meltdowns can be common in toddlers anyway but overwhelm can cause meltdowns in kids with ASD. Keep explaining it's not ok to hit, stay with him in a quiet area until he calms down maybe use a distraction figit toy to de-escalate.

My 10 yo has Sensory Processing Disorder alongside ASD.

Hair, oil helps with combing, he has longer hair that needs cutting less frequently and we go to a hairdresser's house rather than a salon.

Clothes. Pick your battles. Let them wear clothes they are comfortable with. Take spare layers if dressing warmly is an issue. DS has made it to nearly 11 without hypothermia, although school uniform for secondary will be interesting...

Give plans/ warnings about going out. It gets better with age as they have more concept of time and experience. It turns out that we've had many a meltdown because DS would muddle some parks up so while I followed a plan through, he thought I'd taken him somewhere random!

Give a comfortable space. When DS gets in from school, he needs to zone out in his own world. He increasingly goes to his room. He likes feeling cocooned in small cosy spaces and often makes dens.

Thank you for the amazing advice everyone. Really glad I started this thread.

I am watching this with interest. I have a 5 year old who does a lot of what you describe above. We have wondered for years if he had asd but brushed it off because we figured that was ‘just him’. A few weeks ago we started to research and found sensory processing disorder and it was like something clicked. It seems to be more obvious the older he gets as some of the behaviours we assumed were toddler behaviours he hasn’t grown out of. Eg he hits and growls and roars when he’s frustrated. He doesn’t hit other children but does roar at them when he’s upset which has started to cause a problem in social groups. I’m doing all I can to manage it (instinctively and to make life easier!) but I’m reluctant to take him to the doctor in case they brush me off. I wondered if we could go private just for a chat/diagnosis. Not that we would change anything in day to day life, but just to be able to explain to people some of his behaviours.

@yumyumdinner I know what you mean, I would have been reluctant to go to my GP too. We had to go through the GP to start the referral process but because it had been recommended by the paediatrician the GP just rubber-stamped it.

However, as part of the referral process, we have to see another paediatrician before an assessment is undertaken, so quite involved!

If we had the spare cash to go private I would probably pursue it.

@DoubleGlouceater thank you for your reply, I’m pleased for you that you’re ‘ in the system’ at least and you be able to get some help and advice.
I also don’t want people to feel that I’m trying to explain away his ‘bad behaviours’ as it’s not just that. He has some strange behaviours that we haven’t noticed in other children hence our research. Parenting at times isn’t also what I thought it would be due to having to manage these.

Out of interest, what would the OT help you with?

I’m not entirely sure what the OT would do - the paediatrician just said OT involvement would be very beneficial.
I am trying to research private OTs even though I don’t think we’ll manage it financially but I’m struggling to find even a private one in my town!

OT put together programs for children with sensory processing difficulties, they may recommend a sensory diet or different strategies to support different sensory needs. They will look at all stumuli and see if your child has a typical response to sensory stimulation or is over or under responsive.... and then recommend activities to help regulate accordingly.

@CrumbsThatsQuick
Thanks, that’s really useful.

Google sensory diets. A good OT will look at what senses are under / over stimulated and look at activities to redress the balance. My dd is both hyper and hypo sensitive so sometimes we need to find things to add sensory input eg fidget toys, stuff to chew, swings, trampolines. Other times she needs less, so ear defenders or sunglasses or a dark space. The idea is to find a balance - if you have to go to a noisy, busy bright supermarket, then make sure there is a quiet calm space afterwards to retreat to, for example.

Honestly most of these just sound like normal toddler behaviour. I'd be cautious about the tendency to pathologise and over-diagnose.

To some extent @CampagVelocet I agree with you, that’s why DS is 5 and we’ve never tried to explore it further. However, I really do see a difference between him and his peers in certain situations and some of his ways I really wouldn’t describe as ‘normal’ or whatever that is. For us it’s also become a bit more noticeable or problematic the older he’s gotten. But I do agree about no over diagnosing etc. From our reading we have implemented a lot of the suggested strategies already just through instinct as that tends to work for DS and makes our lives easier, so we probably wouldn’t need help per say but maybe just support if we did need it further down the line. Although I’m hoping he will grow out of things or adapt as time goes on

OP has also been spoken to by a paediatrician who noticed the behaviour for themselves which I think might be a bit telling

Thanks @handmademitlove will
have a look at sensory diets, they sound good.

@CampagVelocet thanks - definitely approaching this all with caution. I will be more concerned if he’s still displaying these behaviours when he starts school.

But I thought why not try some low cost strategies that might relieve some of the pressure points a bit for now, whether he eventually does or doesn’t get a diagnosis.