How have you changed your life

[OrangeBananaFish]

I'm stuck in a rut and very unhappy with life right now. I know I need some sort of overhaul, something to change, but what?

10 years ago we moved house from one area to another 50 miles away and that isn't an option right now (kids settled plus I like living here). I'm not wanting to leave DH and currently in a FT job so not sure how to go about changing things that way (not sure what I want to do and retraining really isn't an option - no money)

So I'm asking you in what ways have you changed your life for the better? From the big to the small.

Please no advice, just experiences.

I started crossfit, changed my diet and lost weight. I also stopped blaming DH for my feeling stressed. After having 3 kids, I had been over 3 stone overweight for over ten years. I lost all the weight doing the first lockdown. The first lockdown just made me look at everything differently. I just had a lightbulb moment as I realised I had to take control and just stop feeling sorry for myself.

Since then, I would say my life is a lot better. I look better and don't get stressed about what to wear out or at work any more and I have learnt to stand up for myself more when it comes to family commitments. If I am too tired, I just tell the kids that I am not taking them somewhere where they want to go and they either ask DH or change their plans. I was fed up of being a mug so had to change. Plus I never miss my crossfit classes - I mean ever. The kids now work their schedule around my crossfit classes.

I have stopped with the guilt. It has taken almost eighteen years to get me here but I have achieved it a lot i believe.

Starting a martial art was lifechanging for me - I became fitter, had something I loved to think about an gained a new group of friends.

Quit my job, moved to another (sunnier) country, lost weight.

I quit my job and emigrated.

Make time for my hobbies, regardless of how much I have going on (writing my book, and started a martial art). That brings me a lot of joy and has positively impacted my life

Giving up alcohol, started HRT and gym 4/5 times a week!!

I also started crossfit. It makes a big impact.

Quit my horrible job and changed careers. Much less money but I have my life back now.

Started small by committing to drinking a pint of water every morning, before anything else.

And I dropped to PT at work.
I was getting stressed, waking up in the night worrying about it. Now I go to work, do my job, and go home. I leave work at work.

Quit my job in London, went off round the world for a year, and moved home to Scotland when I returned. Itching to do the year-off-to-travel bit again.

I decided life’s too short and that I was going to do stuff, go places, go to gigs. Generally do stuff even if it frightens me a bit! And to go alone rather than waiting for others.

I also go to the gym and do weight training and boxing training which has been brilliant. As others have said, I go no matter what.

I also started therapy which has been totally fane changing.

Game! Not fane 😳

Some fab ideas here. Shame I don't have the money to consider most of the ideas on here. Still good ideas for the future though and interesting to read. Thank you.

Had my overaries out, left DP of 20 years, got a new job, bought a house and a dog
Just a few things.
Getting a hobby also helped but I don't have much time for that anymore unfortunately.

I started running.

I used to see all the C25K threads on here, and think that people were either overstating it, or they were the ones who were the cool sporty girls at school.

I was convinced I was the wrong shape, no use at it, way too unfit to even think of it and likely to get really bored. But did it anyhow, as a sort of necessary evil.

And over several months, came to love it. It completely changed my life for the better - both physical and mental health, general de-stressed, way to meet new people, see the world differently

Even if running really isn't for you, it does look as if finding ways to take more exercise is the common theme in this thread

I've changed things up a few times. Getting married to a good bloke & having kids are 2 you've done. I also took a year out and went traveling for a year when I was mid 20s.
The best recent one is that I quit my profession and went back to uni to do a master's, purely in something that interested me. I now lecture in that subject & the pay is pretty much the same as my former career.

Even if running really isn't for you, it does look as if finding ways to take more exercise is the common theme in this thread

I started running nearly 10 years ago. It really is one of the good things out of my life. I read a meme on facebook once that said if you want to get fit go to the gym, if you want to change your life go run. It's really a true thing (I've also been to plenty of different gyms)

Might think about taking up some other form of exercise as a hobby though - crossfit is a little out of my price range though.

Some things which are free / cheap -

Running / jogging / walking - you need a pair of trainers yes but if you can’t afford brand new you will absolutely be able to pick up a pair on eBay or Facebook martlet place or Vinted etc. I sold a brand new pair of £80 trainers on vinted for £10 - they’d only been worn once by DP. So there are cheap bargains to be had. Then download the couch to 5k free app or look up some beautiful country walks and get going.

Alternatively there are lots of gyms which charge between 10-20£ a month.

Reading groups / book clubs (online or in person) - borrow the book from library or get into a book share group.

Podcasts and YouTube content - mostly free or sometimes a low subscription charge for things like Spotify. There is content for any interest you may have - clothes, music, cooking, crafting, fitness, comedy - literally anything.

Choose a podcast of a subject you enjoy, get your shoes on and get outside in the fresh air.

Upcycling - nominal costs for second hand furniture from junk shops and some paints / materials.

Cold water swimming - if you live near a lake or the sea you might find there is a local group of cold water swimmers. I’ve heard amazing things about it.

Rambling / hiking - similar to running, it’s free other than some suitable footwear, there will likely be local groups if you don’t want to do it alone.

Volunteering - put your time and effort to a good cause and volunteer a few hours a week.

Night classes or online learning - usually there is a fee but for example my local university does summer classes for £50 for 6 week worth of lessons - for example creative writing or computer coding, there were lots of options.
Alternatively the website Udemy often sells their courses for 13.99 - I bought two courses which will both benefit my career for 10£ each. There are loads of subjects to choose from.

Mediation / yoga - endless free content on YouTube.

Ultimately OP it’s about really digging deep and asking yourself what would make you happy. Then putting the change in motion, step by step.

Sorry x post about running

Followed a yearning I'd always had to build on the seed of a Christian faith. That's the biggest life-changer for me. Other pivotal changes I've made over my life are getting psychotherapy (many years ago when you could get it on the nhs), starting HRT, starting a bullet Journalling habit, and there are a couple of authors who I would say have had such a profound effect as to be life changing for me too.

Ultimately OP it’s about really digging deep and asking yourself what would make you happy. Then putting the change in motion, step by step.

Right now I'd like to retire. However, at 42 I have some time left so this leaves me to thinking about career choice. If I'm so desperate to retire then I'm obviously in the wrong job. Problem there is that I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up and I still don't know. Fell into office work after Uni and I'm still there. Think I'd prefer a skilled job, just in what I really don't know. I do like the outdoors.

Might have a look at this Udemy site though. Thank you.

Yoga on YouTube.
A morning walk, every morning.
Eating within an 8 hour window. I chose 11am to 7pm.
Less screen time.
More sleep.
Only saying 'yes' when it suited me (I have no young children).
Decluttered with the help of Marie Kondo and her supporters on YouTube . Included throwing out clothes that I didn't feel good in.
Stopped drinking alcohol and eating chocolate.

In my mid 20s I moved countries to go travelling met DH 6 m later and here I still am 21 y later married with 2 kids and haven’t looked back . It was scary at the time I left at a very short notice didn’t know a soul in here but it was the best decision of my life , it literally changed everything! If you are not happy with your life I say do something about it or nothing will change !!!

We also then go travelling but together with my now DH after we met for about 9 m around the world that was another one if my dreams that was realised and I’m so happy we did it before steady jobs and kids and now my health problems for the past decade . Glad I did all the crazy physical activities while I still could .