Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Was this normal in the 90's

460 replies

sparklybin · 31/10/2021 08:10

I'm trying to sort in my head some of the things my parents did when me and siblings were growing up to see what was normal and was was not.

When my parents used to go into town ie the high street, if they had their shopping to do or something like a bank appointment they would drop us at the toy store and leave us there playing with the toys until they'd finished and then they'd come back. Probably used to leave us for about an hour but I'm not sure if it was longer. We were about 4/5 when they started doing this
I can't imagine doing this. It was early 90's though so I don't know if it was normal or not.

OP posts:
mam0918 · 31/10/2021 09:41

SpeakingFranglais

Leaving kids out in prams is a trend coming back... I have a baby and in many of my birth clubs I have seen people rave about how they leave the kid outside alone in a pram for hours saying 'other European countries do it all the time, it's good for them to get the fresh air'.

I think of Bugler and McCann and the many others and would NEVER even consider doing it.

PittaMyBread · 31/10/2021 09:44

My mum left us in an Early Learning Centre I’m the late 80s while she shopped in the clothes shop next door, I remember loads of other kids left there with us! We loved it at the time!

KurtWildeWitchOfTheWoods · 31/10/2021 09:45

I've never done it with my DC btw, even without the horror of Jamie Bulger and Maddy Mcann it just seems so wrong to leave small children unattended in a busy place. Or even a quite one for that matter. I remember it never bothered me when my parents did it and clearly me and my siblings lived to tell the tale, but I couldn't ever imagine doing it myself!

FictionalCharacter · 31/10/2021 09:46

Not normal, but probably more people did it than would do now.

I worked in a toy shop in the 90s. Occasionally we’d realise that a child or a couple of siblings had been left by a parent. When the parent came back we’d politely remind them that we were not a crèche and were not able to watch over their kids. Sometimes people would actually ask us if they could leave their kids for a while, and then be annoyed when we said no!

Allthesefolks · 31/10/2021 09:49

I’m a couple of years older than you and we spent a lot of time in the library and elc playing with the wooden trains, I thought my mum was just trying to entertain us, I don’t remember being left, maybe we were 🤔 I’m going to ask her now!

My dad did leave us in the car while he spent the afternoon in the pub, he’d bring us panda pops and crisps intermittently.

My parents were kids in the late 50s/early 60s and would basically hang around outside with all the neighbourhood kids from the age of 3/4 all day. Walking miles to school in a group from age 4, playing on actually bombsites, my dad even used to go to the countryside camping for the weekend with a bunch of kids and no adults.

whoopy1 · 31/10/2021 09:50

I never left my dcs alone in a toy shop or library, but my ex best friend did. She would take them into the “Early Learning Centre” and leave them playing with the toys, whilst she swanned off wherever she wanted.

I met her one day and didn’t realise what she had done, until after we had had a coffee and leisurely chat. She couldn’t understand why I was shocked about her leaving them there and told me she did it every week! I said we should go and get them as they must have been there at least 2 hours.

When we got to the shop they weren’t there. She asked the staff where her children were and when they said they had no idea she started screaming at them for allowing her children to leave the shop. No amount of the staff saying that they weren’t there to supervise lone children got through to her and she was adamant they were guilty of neglect! It turned out that her dh had went past the shop and the dcs seeing him had ran out of the shop after him. He was absolutely furious with what she had done and had taken them home! The police were called, but luckily for her, one of her neighbours happened to pass by whilst she was speaking to the police and told her that her dh had the children, or it would have been much more serious. As it was she was rightly reported to SS and banned from the shop!

Einszwei · 31/10/2021 09:51

I remember that Woolworths had a creche for parents who wanted to shop without their kids.

Wonmoretime · 31/10/2021 09:51

@Clickbait21 I was just going to mention the ELC. I think they had a little Crèche / play area where you could leave children, and think some of the early (very big ) out of town supermarkets did too. This would have been very early 90s, possibly late 80s

MargaretThursday · 31/10/2021 09:53

@MaybeAMoaner

I never had this happen to me but I can imagine it being very normal in the 90s

My mum told me how in the 80s you were not allowed to take prams in shops so you had to leave your baby in the pram outside the shop and this was totally normal.
Imagine doing that now!!

It wasn't so much not allowed but prams were so much bigger then, and disabled access wasn't a thing so there were often steps, so taking the prams in was awkward.

Even my mum, who was overprotective at that sort of thing, would leave the pram outside the shops because getting it round was really awkward.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 31/10/2021 09:53

I had 4/5 year olds in the 90s and would never have done this, nor would my friends, definitely not the norm.
Even if parents might have considered it, I'm really surprised any one did after the Jamie Bulger murder. Most parents went the opposite direction after those shocking events.
We weren't left in toy departments in the 60s, but I do remember going to the shop for my Mum when I can only have been 5.

Newjobnewstart · 31/10/2021 09:54

Don't remember being left in shops but would get left outside the pub on a Saturday afternoon

kiki22 · 31/10/2021 09:55

In the late 90s we were left in the car outside the pub only to be driven home 3 sheets to the wind

getintheseaharold · 31/10/2021 09:55

No but many happy summer memories of leaving the house after the 9am showing of the Pink Panther on TV in the early 80's and only returning for lunch, ice pops and dinner and then bed.
We mainly stuck to the street but we went at least half a mile in each direction. Parks, back lanes, fields. Gang of about 15 of us aged around 6 to 10.
If I lost my mum in a shop though I'd be beside myself and was never left to my own devices in a shop. Not because of our safety though... annoyance to the shop owner would have been on my parents minds!

Pretty sure I was left happily reading in the library a few times while my parents paid their rates bill at the council and electricity boards nearby tho.

MintyGreenDream · 31/10/2021 09:55

No not normal

wallowmall · 31/10/2021 09:56

I was born in the 80s & there were defo crèche things in shops. Also remember being left in the car whilst a parent ran & did an errand & we used to play out with other kids. This was in London & just don't see it now.

toffeeshock · 31/10/2021 09:56

There used to be a council run play scheme in town when I was a child (80s). We’d go to town, my mum would drop us off there and we’d play/ paint while she went shopping. We were all happy! What I’d do for these still to be around!

EdenFlower · 31/10/2021 09:57

I don't think that was normal or acceptable in the 90's.

The fact that the shop assistants were annoyed suggests they thought your parents were taking liberties and it wasn't right.

I was a child of the 70s and my parents never did anything like yours did, even back then.

Nanny0gg · 31/10/2021 09:58

@sparklybin

I'm trying to sort in my head some of the things my parents did when me and siblings were growing up to see what was normal and was was not.

When my parents used to go into town ie the high street, if they had their shopping to do or something like a bank appointment they would drop us at the toy store and leave us there playing with the toys until they'd finished and then they'd come back. Probably used to leave us for about an hour but I'm not sure if it was longer. We were about 4/5 when they started doing this
I can't imagine doing this. It was early 90's though so I don't know if it was normal or not.

No! Never heard of that before,
kwiksavenofrillsusername · 31/10/2021 09:59

I remember a lot of places had crèches in the late 80s. Our local supermarket had one that had dozens of kids running riot in a small room, with one staff member at the door. Our local shopping centre also had one. Absolutely no health and safety, just drop the kids off with some teenagers for hours and shop in peace!

When I went to Spain I noticed they had one in a shopping centre, and it had a list of prices on the door. They had the option to drop your kids off for eight hours. I was tempted.

Nanny0gg · 31/10/2021 09:59

@sparklybin

This is interesting as I can't imagine it being normal but perhaps it was then.

Another favourite was to leave us scoffing the sweets in the pick and mix aisle of the supermarkets while they went to do their shop. I cringe slightly at this one!!

I think there's a name for people like your parents...
Brainwave89 · 31/10/2021 10:00

No this would not have been normal. Anything could have happened to you in the shop and the 1990s was a time of heightened concern for child safety following the James Bolger case. In the 70s my dad would play cricket and we would have to sit in the car on our own afterwards. However we were strictly not allowed out of the car. Even this IMV was quite negligent.

maofteens · 31/10/2021 10:00

Nope. Never heard of this. If I owned the toy shop I'd be calling the police about these abandoned kids (the parents would be putting me in charge of them and I would not want to be responsible).
My MIL did tell me they used to leave (in the 60s) my husband in charge of his younger brother and go out (kids were 3 and 5). She said 'we didn't know any better'. I'm not sure what you need to know that leaving a five year old in charge of a three year old alone at night is a really bad idea.
I know people used to leave their babies in their prams outside shops, but this was just for a few minutes. Wouldn't do that now though.

inferiorCatSlave · 31/10/2021 10:03

My mum told me how in the 80s you were not allowed to take prams in shops so you had to leave your baby in the pram outside the shop and this was totally normal.
Imagine doing that now!!

I was born late 70s younger sinbling just into 80s and my Mum was against this practise and never did it - was horrified when people did it. I do remember a few prams in 80s outside village shop.

I know my MIL did it in the 70s as it got her to the front of the supermarket queue because the shoper workers were always worried DH would fall out as he'd would try and climb out.

IL took pfb for a walk and did it in subrub of city we lived in. Friedns of mine saw and IL never had our children in prams again by themselves.

NCForNosies · 31/10/2021 10:03

Relatives used to leave us standing outside the shop to 'look after' the baby in the pram. Sometimes it was just me and I was 6/7 maybe?

Looking back it seems nuts but I think it was the times!

Siriisatwat · 31/10/2021 10:03

Dh remembers being left to play with the train set in ELC while his mum went to the shops, he was 5 in 1990.

My parents would never have done that. Absolute madness to leave a small child who could wander anywhere unattended.