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Original poster

Was this normal in the 90's

460 replies

sparklybin · 31/10/2021 08:10

I'm trying to sort in my head some of the things my parents did when me and siblings were growing up to see what was normal and was was not.

When my parents used to go into town ie the high street, if they had their shopping to do or something like a bank appointment they would drop us at the toy store and leave us there playing with the toys until they'd finished and then they'd come back. Probably used to leave us for about an hour but I'm not sure if it was longer. We were about 4/5 when they started doing this
I can't imagine doing this. It was early 90's though so I don't know if it was normal or not.

OP posts:

PjsOn · 31/10/2021 11:47

Erm no not normal. Although late 80s early 90s my parents would go to the pub if we were away on holiday in this country and leave us in the car for an hour or 2 whilst they had a pint just the 2 of them. They'd bring is drinks and crisps. I hated it as I'd end up fighting with my older brother, I was 4 at the most when they started to do this. My eldest child is 5 now, I wouldn't even nip in a shop with them sat outside in the car never mind sit chilling in the pub having a leisurely pint. Madness.

darklady64 · 31/10/2021 11:47

@Magicalwoodlands

I don’t know if I believe these stories about leaving without babies, if I’m honest.

Well, my auntie did it and my MIL. Everyone has survived unscathed. But I expect all the pearl clutchers will be on now saying my cousins/DP's family were abused by neglectful parents.

However, I remember lines of prams outside shops in the 70s, and also being in charge of my DB when quite small, taking them swimming on the bus (or rather, taking them on the bus to go swimming ). But there was no way I would have felt safe leaving my own 90s born babies outside on their own or taking each other on public transport at the same age. It's interesting to wonder when and why things changed.

notthemum · 31/10/2021 11:54

In 1980 I lived in a large seaside town. Went to town centre with dsis and her toddler who was in a buggy. Couldn't take the buggy into the shop we wanted to go in, so took toddler out of buggy and held her hand, leaving the buggy outside. When we came out (about ten minutes later) the buggy had gone.
Police thought it had probably been taken by teens to ride down the hills. (Couldn't go anywhere there without going up or down a hill)

ChocolateGingers · 31/10/2021 13:20

@rainbowunicorn Where do you live?

I have never seen a coach style Silver Cross pram since the 50s when I was in mine!

I find it very hard to believe anyone uses them now and they cost a fortune.

Round my area it's all BMW buggies.

ChocolateGingers · 31/10/2021 13:22

Where I live people were still using large silver cross type prams as well as buggies much later than that. They were also still leaving babies in prams outside shops. It was still very much the norm on our high street well into the 2000's and even now I still see the odd one or two every week.

I'd LOVE to know where this is @rainbowunicorn

It's another world, for sure.

It's either incredibly posh or incredibly poor

Itsnotover · 31/10/2021 13:23

Oh my god. No, this was not normal in the 80s or 90s. It’s certainly not something my parents or any of the parents of my friends did.

Imagine leaving 4 and 5 year olds unsupervised?

Atla · 31/10/2021 13:25

My aunty had a silver cross pram for my cousin - prob around 1985/86. Definitely not common after that. They cost a fortune these days - beautiful but impractical.

Atla · 31/10/2021 13:26

I'd say posh @ChocolateGingers

FreeBritnee · 31/10/2021 13:26

I was left at home with my slightly older sibling from the age of six as both parents had to work. Also left alone during all the school holidays and when I was ill. This was the eighties. No idea if it was normal.

ChocolateGingers · 31/10/2021 13:30

@Atla

I'd say posh *@ChocolateGingers*

South West London?

Prams being wheeled across Kensington Gardens by Norland nannies.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 31/10/2021 13:32

Definitely not normal behavior.

Toddlerteaplease · 31/10/2021 13:38

We got dragged along to the back/ electricity board etc etc. I remember my GP had a pram park outside. It was a 60's building. It was not used by the 80's though. I also remember people leaving empty pushchairs in the foyer at Sainsbury's. And people golfing up buggies on the bus and putting them in the buggy rack.

limitedperiodonly · 31/10/2021 14:02

I was born in the 1960s. My brothers and sisters were born in the 1950s.. I've said that I was left with trusted people but it's a myth that parents allowed their children to wander about. There was a little matter of the Moors Murders in case any one doesn't think bad things happened to children.

It's true that people did leave their children to play out unsupervised until all hours or sitting outside pubs with a packet of crisps and a lemonade while they were getting pissed inside but this was never considered to be a good idea despite what people like to say about the good old days.

Parents like mine and plenty of others never did it and wanted to know where we were at all times and who we were with. They never used to send me to get packets of fags for them either. I was told to stay away from children of parents who did.

There were certain homes my parents would not allow me to go round. Those friends were allowed to come round my house to play. This was because their parents were negligent or had dodgy habits and friends.

My parents had a shortlived deal with a near neighbour - it was that one week my dad would take us to Brownies and pick us up and the next my friend's dad would do it. Except when it was his turn he couldn't be arsed and I came home crying because he'd sent us on our own and I wasn't allowed to cross the busy road. My friend ran across but I didn't dare and went home crying because I'd missed Brownies. We were seven. I don't know whether he'd have roused himself to pick us up in the dark but this was not normal parenting and it annoys me that people seem to think it was.

I had the same experience with a friend whose mum went out leaving us locked in the house. It took a while for me to tell my mum because I didn't think it was dangerous. Needless to say I was never allowed round there again.

CelebrateAndDream · 31/10/2021 14:33

I was once locked IN a toy shop with my brother!! A small local one near where I lived...very elderly male owner clearly hadn't seen us sitting quietly in the aisle looking at the toys (mum was next door in the butchers). He walked out of the shop, locked the door...and left!! We just thought he was just going on an errand...it was mid-afternoon, not closing time...but no, he got in his car and drove off! 😱

My mum came back to get us 10 minutes or so later, and was frantic when she couldn't get in...the butcher next door talked to us through the letterbox, and instructed us how to get through to the 'back room' where there was a small window that we could open from the inside and climb out. We thought it was a great adventure...my mum not so much 🤣

So yeah...leaving kids in toy shops was a thing back then (this was late 60s by the way). I wouldn't do it now though 🤦‍♀️

Tulips15 · 31/10/2021 14:33

Me and my 3 siblings, were late 80s born, My mother would never have left us unsupervised anywhere, at any age till teens tbh.
The only place we were left, was in the car when she was paying for fuel.

Galaxyinmypocket · 31/10/2021 14:45

I was left in my pram outside of a shop (around the corner from where we lived). Mum got home and realised she had forgotten about me. It was a silver cross pram in the 80s and too big to take in the shop.

Other than that we were never expected to stay in a library/toy shop, we went everywhere with my mum.

dayswithaY · 31/10/2021 14:53

I remember my groovy parents having parties with the neighbours (possibly wife swapping?) in the 1970s. They would rig up a baby monitor and run it through the adjoining lofts (semi detached houses) so they could "hear" if we woke up. Not sure how that worked after a few Babychams but whatever.

Holiday camps did a similar thing. Staff would walk up and down rows of chalets containing children alone inside asleep and listen out for crying. Then they would make an announcement about Chalet 5 and the parents had to stop watching the Knobbly Knees contest or playing bingo to come back and see to their child.

My Dad remembers being as young as three and going to the cinema alone, some American GIs felt sorry for him and gave him some money to get in (1940s). Probably explains his lax attitude towards parenting.

They say the past is a foreign country.

MrsTophamHat · 31/10/2021 15:00

@Galaxyinmypocket

Other than that we were never expected to stay in a library/toy shop, we went everywhere with my mum.

My nana did the same thing and left my dad outside a shop. She caught the bus home before realising she had left him and had to get the bus back. That would have been '60s though.

ohfook · 31/10/2021 15:20

Yes. My parents used to leave me in the model kitchens in b&q while they shopped.

RubyJam · 31/10/2021 15:23

We used to stay in the toy aisle and look at toys and leaf through kids books while our parents shopped and they would get us at the end of the food shop.

We were taken into soft play type thing and left there , parents went away to go shopping etc and came back for us. Nobody bothered back then to check if parents stayed , nobody signed you in or out , you just paid at the leisure centre entrance.

Also back in late 80’s we were dropped off to the cinema , back then they done a double feature kids films Saturday matinee ( local cinema not a chain ) , our dad and friends dad would go the pub round the corner and leave us in the cinema.

I have many many examples of being left at stuff like this

Myself and my siblings are very happy well adjusted adults with zero abandonment issues .

SignOnTheWindow · 31/10/2021 15:27

In the 80s, my mum would park on the High Street and leave us in the car while she went shopping. Very small town, though.

MargaretThursday · 31/10/2021 15:35

[quote ChocolateGingers]@rainbowunicorn Where do you live?

I have never seen a coach style Silver Cross pram since the 50s when I was in mine!

I find it very hard to believe anyone uses them now and they cost a fortune.

Round my area it's all BMW buggies.[/quote]
I used both a silver cross pram, and the silver cross wayfarer buggy, both dating from 70s/80s, for dd1 and dd2 in early 2000s.

I had them because we didn't have a huge amount of money and someone offered us those for free. I used the pram when going locally, but the wayfarer on the bus (which was not a low bus so had to be folded down) as I didn't drive. People were really good about helping.

I still used the wayfarer for my youngest when doing local stuff as it's a lovely robust buggy, and could fit at older ones hanging off it too. When I used to pick my middle one up from school, I often had 2 or 3 of her friends cadging a lift down to the junior school (20 minutes walk) hanging off it.
But I did have a cheap one hand fold up for the bus by then, which was much easier.

ChocolateGingers · 31/10/2021 15:36

For the love of God :) @sparklybin tell us where you lived?

You've already used a phrase that is not mainstream English (shop clerks) so I can't but help wonder where your childhood was spent.

No one will know who you are

ChocolateGingers · 31/10/2021 15:37

@SignOnTheWindow

In the 80s, my mum would park on the High Street and leave us in the car while she went shopping. Very small town, though.

People still do this.

DerAlteMann · 31/10/2021 16:15

I wouldn't say it was usual in the 90s, (we never did it) but it wasn't so uncommon that it would be a matter of comment. One toyshop (Early Learning Centre) actually had an area where you could leave small children while you shopped.

As for babies being left in prams, my DM left me twice outside different shops in the late 50s. Completely forgot she had me. Can't say it did either of us any harm.

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