Need new life and new friends, can you help me be positive?

[TurnStone]

I am married and retired. When first retired, DH and I lived the dream of our lives, until lockdown. Now moved to an area close to one family member but so far, no friends (COVID curtailed many social opportunities).

Not possible to resume living our dream life, for several reasons incl increasing age-related physical condition (DH).

I am aware that my life is enormously privileged compared to some, yet my days feel grey and pointless. Have applied for voluntary work but nothing yet. Help ....
( Not getting a pet)

I’m now intrigued as to what your dream life involved, @TurnStone?

Aim for a bit less grey in your life rather than waiting for your favourite colour.

I’m just over the border so in a very quiet, rural spot.

It amazes me that there is something going on in every tiny village hall! Perhaps someone local with FB could look for you, or you could have a walk past and look at any noticeboards outside?

In ours (tiny village) we have karate, bingo, yoga, gardening club and a twice a month thing where the doors are open for villagers to have a cup of tea and play darts or table tennis (if they want).

You don’t have to be super interested in these things so I dip in and out of yoga and only go to gardening club talks that interest me. I also go to support anything at the village hall even if it isn’t really my thing (like the Queen’s Jubilee) as you’re just having a cup of tea and no one is going to check if you’re a monarchist.

I’ve just signed up for drawing classes at the village hall in the next village.

Locally, volunteering exists at schools (listening to readers), National Trust but even more so at small, volunteer run museums, a steam railway, helping at libraries (can’t remember the name of the scheme now but you can be a mentor helping people use the computers or part of a befriending virtual book club).

Litter picking is a massive thing locally as it’s a small village with an A road running through it. It’s a jovial atmosphere.

If I ever move over the border, I’ll be taking up Welsh lessons properly.

@SparklingLime

I’m now intrigued as to what your dream life involved, *@TurnStone*?

Lived on a boat

@Hen2018
Brilliant list, thanks very much

I know you’ve had enough of politics (same here, in a previous life!) but I’ve made some good friends by signing up to work during elections. I really enjoy the postal vote opening (several days work before Election Day) then either working on the day itself or doing the counting afterwards. It’s quite a Dunkirk spirit and everyone is chatty. One lady (who I get on with but only see at elections!) found my son his job!

Ditto with exam invigilation in local high schools.

@Hen2018

I know you’ve had enough of politics (same here, in a previous life!) but I’ve made some good friends by signing up to work during elections. I really enjoy the postal vote opening (several days work before Election Day) then either working on the day itself or doing the counting afterwards. It’s quite a Dunkirk spirit and everyone is chatty. One lady (who I get on with but only see at elections!) found my son his job!

Ditto with exam invigilation in local high schools.

Good idea when the time comes.

Lived on a boat

Ah, OK, imagine that’s a life in itself.

Ah, OK, imagine that’s a life in itself.

I suspect an element of grieving for that life in my current mental state.

Aww, that must be really hard

Well, onwards and upwards !

@CalmConfident

Parkrun…we always love new volunteers !

Before 0900 on a weekend .... erm ...

I hope this thread alone shows you that people are fundamentally good, kind and want to help are warm. Write all of the ideas down. Take a deep breath. Pick 2/3 to explore next week. Big smile open heart and open mind. Be chatty. Read every notice board and every leaflet.

It will come but it will take effort. Some things will fail, some will peter out, some will thrive.

Aim for less grey. Some social interactions and mental stimulation by being out and about. And friendships will likely follow.

Do you have a local community centre? I sometimes help out there and have made friends of all ages there where we volunteer together 🙂

@jackiebenimble @PinkBuffalo

I can certainly do those in the next couple of days, thanks 👍👍

do look at

Quite a lot of stuff offered by the canal and river stuff.

Also found these for volunteering, but not quite sure where you are in Wales!

www.heulwentrust.co.uk/

www.disabilitysportwales.com/clubs/llandegfedd-watersports/

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/boat-travels-up-down-welsh-15712796.amp

www.yachtsandyachting.com/news/210235/72ft-yacht-joins-RYAs-Sailability-scheme

Canal and river TRUST, that should say!

Good luck!

@Hen2018 nothing local to me 😭
@pickingdaisies Thanks !

Update,
Through meetup went tenpin bowling and for a drink in a small group, they suggested further things to do.
Thanks to everybody for the moral support upthread,

💐

My friend had the same problem but has met some lovely new friends through regular classes at the local leisure centre like aqua fit.

Great news, thank you for the update.

I know you say you’re not quite ready for it but the U3A has been a life saver for a family member who moved to a new area. They are definitely on the younger side of the members but has got stuck into the committee side of things and also enjoys the monthly talks. It’s not perfect and there’s always jostling for position on the committee, but the actual presentations and groups seem to be enjoyable for them. The key is to be selective about what you sign up to.

Either way, good luck finding what suits you!

Thank you for your comments and encouragement, clopper , Chippymunks and BrightSideRightSide