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Sudden onset of dog allergy, NRP has dogs, wtf do we do?

45 replies

TheDogsAreTheIssuePossibly · 25/10/2021 21:28

DD is 7, over this weekend she had a sudden reaction to a family members dogs; face swelled up, very sneezy and had a cough, eyes streaming and swollen.

Soon as we took her out of FMs house and gave her a piriton tablet she’s settled down and been fine. I took her to A+E and she’s been referred for testing, but they agree that it’s likely she’s suddenly developed an allergy to dogs – she does have asthma and spoke to her asthma consultant while there.

I don’t have a pet dog but my ExH (DDs dad) does – they’re not technically his dogs, he lives with his parents and they’re his parents dogs and they won’t rehome. At all. If he was the RP they’d consider it, but as he only has her once per fortnight (26/27 days per year) then they’ve automatically said no.

Been advised the dogs being out of the house for the night will not be enough to prevent a reaction and next time could be a worse reaction. Asthma consultant recommends 10-12 months animal free before you notice a big difference.

ExH cannot afford to live away from his parents as rent would be more than his monthly income per month, I cannot afford to give up the CB or UC to help him out, I work parttime myself and increasing my hours will increase my childcare needs so I wouldn’t be any better off financially, in fact it could make me worse off.

So WTF do we do about contact if she is allergic to dogs? DD adores ExH and would see it as punishment to stop seeing him. Her grandparents are unlikely to agree to get rid of the dogs, so we’re stuck.

Do I just accept there will be no more overnight contact?

Also what do I do about contact the coming weekend as she's unlikely to have had her testing and results by then (I'm being told 3-4 weeks even under an urgent referral)?

OP posts:
PeggyGa · 25/10/2021 21:30

Can she see him at yours?

ducksalive · 25/10/2021 21:32

Get her anti allergy medication and get her take it before she goes and while she is there and get her dad to monitor how she does.
Not all dogs are as reactive as each other so she may not respond strongly to in laws dogs.
Pass on relevant information on seeking medical advice if needed to dad.

TheDogsAreTheIssuePossibly · 25/10/2021 21:32

@PeggyGa

Can she see him at yours?
Unfortunately not, I don't let ExH over my threshold and haven't since we split and even if I let him I have nowhere to go while he has contact (small 2 bed flat with open plan living and kitchen area so nowhere to really escape to)
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MegBusset · 25/10/2021 21:34

How long has she had contact with his parents' dogs? She might be ok with them - people can react differently to individual animals or breeds. My DS1 is allergic to cats but fine with my sister's cat, whereas our friends ' cat causes an immediate reaction.

MegBusset · 25/10/2021 21:35

What is your XP's suggestion? Really this is up to him to sort out...

TheDogsAreTheIssuePossibly · 25/10/2021 21:36

@MegBusset

How long has she had contact with his parents' dogs? She might be ok with them - people can react differently to individual animals or breeds. My DS1 is allergic to cats but fine with my sister's cat, whereas our friends ' cat causes an immediate reaction.
3 years but she's had contact with my FMs dogs for a similar amount of time and a similar frequency of visits and suddenly had this reaction so I'm not confident the same won't happen with her gps dogs.

Asthma consultant said it can happen, she's probably been allergic forever but it just builds until the body can no longer cope and reacts like this.

OP posts:
GettingItOutThere · 25/10/2021 21:36

can he take her out? go out for the day?

I would accept no overnights either - why is he not getting his own place? can he not move slightyl further away for afforability?

but no, I would not want her in the house either (and i am a dog fan)!

TheDogsAreTheIssuePossibly · 25/10/2021 21:36

@MegBusset

What is your XP's suggestion? Really this is up to him to sort out...
He just said "Oh erm, I don't know"
OP posts:
dcadmam · 25/10/2021 21:39

I woukd dose her up before she goes do the antihistamine in her system. Get the house hoovered the day before she goes ( not sane day as dog hair woukd be in the sir snd actually worse than not hoovering) ensure dogs not allowed in her bed room ever even when not there. Ensure gets lots of fresh air. Check lots of inhalers are full and stress to ex at first sign of problems he gets her out

TheDogsAreTheIssuePossibly · 25/10/2021 21:40

@GettingItOutThere

can he take her out? go out for the day?

I would accept no overnights either - why is he not getting his own place? can he not move slightyl further away for afforability?

but no, I would not want her in the house either (and i am a dog fan)!

He has a car so technically he could take her out.

I know his current income is less pm than rent would be, I'm not sure why he doesn't earn more.

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 25/10/2021 21:41

It could well be dog dependent. My DH loves cats, we had cats for years, no issue. We go to peoples houses with cats no problem. One house with a cat, massive issue, he swells up, eyes streaming, nasal and throat irritation. Weirdly they specifically got that cat as one of them was allergic to cats so they got a hypoallergenic breed and that person can live with the cat happily. So I wouldn’t necessarily write off all dogs.

GiantSweetcorn · 25/10/2021 21:41

Can he book a hotel for them to stay in together on his contact nights, at least until the testing is undertaken and you have a clearer picture?

Viviennemary · 25/10/2021 21:42

Just don't send her until its sorted out. Or get anti allergy medication. I don't think you can expect people to get rid of their dogs if she only visits once a fortnight.

TheDogsAreTheIssuePossibly · 25/10/2021 21:44

@Viviennemary

Just don't send her until its sorted out. Or get anti allergy medication. I don't think you can expect people to get rid of their dogs if she only visits once a fortnight.
I'm not expecting them to get rid of the dogs, I kind of understand for once a fortnight not bothering.
OP posts:
GirlWithAGuitar · 25/10/2021 21:49

So a dog allergy hasn’t been confirmed, it could be something else? Get the tests done and see.
Then just give her anti allergy medication when she sees her dad.
I’m allergic to cats, as is my partner but we had them for years, we just used medication. I definitely wouldn’t be getting rid of pets, they’re part of the family.

Viviennemary · 25/10/2021 21:50

I agree with trying to get them to use a special pet hair vacuum and see if that helps. Seems strange to have such a sudden severe reaction but maybe thats what can happen. You could ask on the pet forum if anybody has any ideas on how to minimise this.

MegBusset · 25/10/2021 21:51

If she has never reacted to the parents' dogs then I would suggest before she stays over next time that she meets them at the park for a walk so she can have a stroke and cuddle with them. If she reacts then it is easy to remove her from the situation. If she is fine then you can feel more confident to continue the overnight visits pending further testing. But make surr she always has some Piriton and her inhalers.

DeeplyMovingExperience · 25/10/2021 21:54

Allergies are not to be messed with, and nor is asthma. It's a serious issue. You daughter will be suffering more than you can imagine (if you don't have allergies). I was one of those kids - my allergies were dismissed and I was forced to deal with horrific animal allergies. Please don't subject your daughter to the same.

MegBusset · 25/10/2021 21:55

& your asthma consultant is correct in that dog allergies can develop over time - BUT they usually develop gradually with exposure rather than go from 0 to 100 in one go.

steppemum · 25/10/2021 21:57

my dd suddenly became allergic to my Mum's cat.

We have a cat and a dog, and she doesn't react to them at all.

But we did stop the cat going in to her room, and if she buried her face in cat fur, she would start to get itching eyes. (my mum's cat she reacts just being in the house)
She has also slowly started to become allergic to feathers.

What I am saying is don't assume she will be allergic to all dogs.

The other thing is, one dose of piriton was enough for dd to spend all day at my mum's house.

InTropicalTrumpsLand · 25/10/2021 21:58

How clean are the dogs? While I do have a dog allergy comproved by tests (1.5x over the limit for non-allergic), it doesn't come close to my allergy to dust (30x over the limit). So I actually cope quite well with dogs that are bathed whenever needed and combed frequently. Every now and again, however, I'll be approached by someone's dog who doesn't seem to have ever seen water or a brush, and it will set me off on a sneezing fit.

Alternatively, does your DD have her own room in her GPs house? If so, can it become dog free? Hoovered with a hoover containing an HEPA filter, cleaned meticulously before she arrives?

LanisHouseLot · 25/10/2021 21:59

The advice of 'try sending her with antihistamines' isn't bad, but you have to be so careful with an asthmatic. It's really not the same level of risk as with a pet allergy in a non-asthmatic. If her asthma has ever landed her in hospital then I don't think I'd be willing to try that.

HermioneWeasley · 25/10/2021 22:04

I am allergic to most animals and it’s fucking miserable. You can’t send her away “dosed up” - it’s still miserable and it’s not ok for her to have to puff away on her inhaler all weekend

He will need to sort something out, it’s his problem.

TheDogsAreTheIssuePossibly · 25/10/2021 22:05

@InTropicalTrumpsLand

How clean are the dogs? While I do have a dog allergy comproved by tests (1.5x over the limit for non-allergic), it doesn't come close to my allergy to dust (30x over the limit). So I actually cope quite well with dogs that are bathed whenever needed and combed frequently. Every now and again, however, I'll be approached by someone's dog who doesn't seem to have ever seen water or a brush, and it will set me off on a sneezing fit.

Alternatively, does your DD have her own room in her GPs house? If so, can it become dog free? Hoovered with a hoover containing an HEPA filter, cleaned meticulously before she arrives?

She has her own room and it's already dog free but it's tiny and they're big dogs so can't get in there anyway.

I don't know how often they're bathed, but I know they're taken for big long walks and get muddy 2-3 times a month (DDs been on these walks).

OP posts:
bakingdemon · 25/10/2021 22:06

It is XH's problem to solve if he wants to keep seeing DD at his place of residence. You focus on getting her the care and diagnosis she needs.