Sudden onset of dog allergy, NRP has dogs, wtf do we do?

[TheDogsAreTheIssuePossibly]

DD is 7, over this weekend she had a sudden reaction to a family members dogs; face swelled up, very sneezy and had a cough, eyes streaming and swollen.

Soon as we took her out of FMs house and gave her a piriton tablet she’s settled down and been fine. I took her to A+E and she’s been referred for testing, but they agree that it’s likely she’s suddenly developed an allergy to dogs – she does have asthma and spoke to her asthma consultant while there.

I don’t have a pet dog but my ExH (DDs dad) does – they’re not technically his dogs, he lives with his parents and they’re his parents dogs and they won’t rehome. At all. If he was the RP they’d consider it, but as he only has her once per fortnight (26/27 days per year) then they’ve automatically said no.

Been advised the dogs being out of the house for the night will not be enough to prevent a reaction and next time could be a worse reaction. Asthma consultant recommends 10-12 months animal free before you notice a big difference.

ExH cannot afford to live away from his parents as rent would be more than his monthly income per month, I cannot afford to give up the CB or UC to help him out, I work parttime myself and increasing my hours will increase my childcare needs so I wouldn’t be any better off financially, in fact it could make me worse off.

So WTF do we do about contact if she is allergic to dogs? DD adores ExH and would see it as punishment to stop seeing him. Her grandparents are unlikely to agree to get rid of the dogs, so we’re stuck.

Do I just accept there will be no more overnight contact?

Also what do I do about contact the coming weekend as she's unlikely to have had her testing and results by then (I'm being told 3-4 weeks even under an urgent referral)?

@LanisHouseLot

The advice of 'try sending her with antihistamines' isn't bad, but you have to be so careful with an asthmatic. It's really not the same level of risk as with a pet allergy in a non-asthmatic. If her asthma has ever landed her in hospital then I don't think I'd be willing to try that.

She was actually diagnosed with asthma after her 4th hospital admission for a chest infection, any cough or cold goes straight to her chest and she ends up on steriods. She's not had an admission to hospital since but we've had a few times to go to A+E and her be supported via oxygen for a few hours so I am really careful.

If he has a car he can book a travelodge to stay in for a night. There are often good deals and £100 a month at worst on accommodation is still cheaper than rent.
In the summer they could go camping, even cheaper!

We have an air filter that seems to work well, not sure if that will help you guys but thought I would mention it!

Can he not just see her during the the day take her out, cheap morning cinema, park, play gym but no overnight then 1 night a month pay for a B & B or hotel for an overnight visit?

I know its not ideal but at least they are spending time together until ge can sort out his living situation.

@Bonsaibreaker

Can he not just see her during the the day take her out, cheap morning cinema, park, play gym but no overnight then 1 night a month pay for a B & B or hotel for an overnight visit?

I know its not ideal but at least they are spending time together until ge can sort out his living situation.

I know he won't sort it out though and even more would fall to me. He's told a mutual friend he has no reason to move out of his parents house, he has no reason to see DD more as all the childcare falls to me etc.

Vacuum.
Antihistamines.
Lots of hand-washing.
I am allergic and asthmatic...
And have 4 ddogs.

Unfortunately I would say in this situation she cannot have overnight contact at the ILS house.

It's nobodys fault, it's just how it is. Make sure you explain that to DD, children can get quite focused on "whose fault" something is.

Maybe this will be the kick up the backside your ex needs to sort his life out and get his own place?

Having asthma triggered by an animal isn't really the same as just having an allergy. Asthma attacks aren't really a wait and see situation.I think it's unfair to make her go and stay. I'm allergic to dogs and sometimes even with antihistamines I'm wheezy for days. Is her Dad very reactive to her asthma?

Asthma can be dangerous and life threatening. The advice to dose her up on anti histamines prior to staying there is very bad. You don't mess around with asthma. He'll have to see her outside of the house or something, but I wouldn't send her there to stay. If they value the dogs over a child's health then that's up to them, but don't put your dd at risk.

Please don’t mess with asthma and pet fur allergies. Please. I speak from first hand experience.

My DS is asthma free 99.9% of the time (brown inhaler daily) but exposed, even unwittingly, to dog hair and he’s ended up in hospital on a nebuliser. We didn’t know he had the allergy it came on very suddenly at 6 years old despite not showing issues before then.

It’s also sometimes not the fur, or the dander, it’s saliva. Once we’d been diagnosed we avoided the risk altogether. We went to a summer gathering where a dog lived because we could stay in the garden for half an hour and avoid the dog. We gave antihistamine as a precaution. He went nowhere near the dog but picked up a tennis ball in the garden then touched his face. 30 minutes later his eyes were swollen shut and he was having an asthma attack. Back to a&e and I felt so guilty.

You just don’t know and it’s just not worth the risk with asthma.

Until she's seen the allergy clinic I think you need to keep her away.

There is a risk that future exposure could trigger a worse reaction. Serious allergies are unpredictable.

Plus serious allergy alongside asthma is a significant risk factor.

Dosing up with antihistamine could mean more serious symptoms of an allergic reaction are missed as AHs can mask the early warning signs meaning you don't realise how serious it is until much later or even too late.

At this stage, and considering she's been to A&E and assessed as a priority, I would not be taking any chances.

Please don't dose her up and send her to the house. As pps have said, serious allergies and asthma are not to be trivialised and repeated exposure to the allergan can be disastrous.

Offer what I suggested OP of you think its reasonable and if he refuses then it's not your responsibility.

Let him work.it out for himself.

I’d check if she actually has a reaction to this in laws dogs before worrying! My DP is only allergic to certain breeds.

I'm horribly allergic to dogs and I'm asthmatic. To minimise the allergy;

1. take antihistamine before a visit. Try different brands and if these fail ask GP as they can prescribe others.

2. us a mild steroid nasal spray such as Pirinase.

3. ask for the bedroom to be completely dog free, absolutely I dogs allowed even for the shortest of time.

4. Get you daughter to wash her hands before touching her face or eating.

5. Put her bags straight into her bedroom so not touching surfaces dogs may have walked on.

6. Get her to change into her PJs in the bathroom then bag her clothes up in plastic and wash at the earliest opportunity.

7. Put a throw on the sofa that the dogs haven't had contact with for her to sit on.

8. Vacuum regularly, especially before a visit.

9. Always have inhalers with spacers with her.

All this avoids cross contamination and could make visits more comfortable.

If these measures fail then it may not be a safe environment for her to visit. In my experience the dog allergy can be minimised and my body will cope if it's for a short duration of a night or two.

Asgreat as that advice is should a small child with allergies she cannot controll really go through all of that because her dad refuses to find a safe home?

He's an adult ffs. He has a child. Housing ger safely should be his priority!

You aren’t his mother. If he’s not interested in resolving the situation leave it.

Poor girl he sounds utterly useless but that isn’t your fault or responsibility to fix.

Dont assume it is all dogs

My DD was allergic to our cats for the 1st month of so
No allergy to her dog but my dog of the same breed (cockapoo that doesn't shed at all) sometimes gives a mild reaction.

Her GP said it could actually be something else with the cats- they were rehomed to us and one was on medication so maybe something on their skin which is why it dropped off.

@YoungGiftedPlump there is no mention of any cats involved but there are dogs! 🧐

[quote Hopeisallineed]@YoungGiftedPlump there is no mention of any cats involved but there are dogs! 🧐[/quote]
I gave both an example of cat and dog allergy
There are interchangeable for many people who have allergies.