Page 3 | What is the best response when cashiers ask “how has your day been”?

Curledup · 2021-10-23T15:56:30+00:00

I am socially kind of inept and I don’t really like this when cashiers ask this. But I know they are probably told to ask and be friendly to customers. What do others say? I say “not too bad” should I also ask how their day has been?

notacooldad · 23/10/2021 18:12

So I just say something like "I'm just here for my shopping thank you
😮
Wow!

chelle862 · 23/10/2021 18:12

You know, the best thing to say is, I'm fine thank you, how are you? Always ask how they are when you've been asked. If you don't ask me when I've asked you, I automatically assume you are a miserable fuck 😊

Fluffycloudland77 · 23/10/2021 18:13

I hate it that they make cashiers do this now. I use self service as much as possible.

There’s a Aldi cashier I like. The epitome of menopausal had enough of this shit and I love her for it.

saraclara · 23/10/2021 18:14

I'm very happy to chat to shop staff, but I really wish they didn't ask that specific question.

I've been brought to tears twice by it, once when nursing my terminally ill DH and once just after he died. From that point on I became a fan of the self checkout tills.

I'd far rather they opened a conversation about say, something I was buying, or the weather, or pretty much anything but that.
"How's your day been?" is such a difficult question to respond to when it's been really awful, or the customer has depression, or...well there are so many circumstances where it can go wrong. And that's awful for the person on the till, as well.

Spudlet · 23/10/2021 18:16

@notacooldad

So I just say something like "I'm just here for my shopping thank you 😮 Wow!

I know, right?! Fancy those lowly checkout operators having the sheer nerve to speak to someone as important as RavingAnnie. My god, they probably make eye contact too

Don’t they know how busy and important she is?!

Op, ‘Fine thanks, you?’ is all you need - it’s just a gentle pleasantry as opposed to an invitation to in-depth conversation

Spudlet · 23/10/2021 18:19

www.theguardian.com/money/2021/oct/23/nurses-and-shop-staff-in-uk-face-tide-of-abuse-since-end-of-lockdowns

This is a pretty appropriate story for this thread, I think (not you, op). Being on a checkout can be a pretty miserable experience, I’m given to understand. Even more so at the moment. So why not cut each other a bit of slack here and there?

alphabetspagetti · 23/10/2021 18:19

I sometimes ask them what time they're working until or similar. Or make a comment about something I've bought.
I used to work in retail and a friendly customer could make such a difference to how your day went. And by "friendly" I just mean polite!

RavingAnnie · 23/10/2021 18:23

It's nothing to do with not seeing them as people, or that I'm in anyway busy or important. Lol that's laughable. I just don't want random chats with strangers. Checkout operators or anyone else.

Theunamedcat · 23/10/2021 18:30

A cashier gave me a hug once she was asking everyone how there day was I said please don't ask its been terrible and I might cry she dropped everything gave me a quick hug and a pat and said at least you don't work at tescos

Sn0tnose · 23/10/2021 18:32

@RavingAnnie

It's nothing to do with not seeing them as people, or that I'm in anyway busy or important. Lol that's laughable. I just don't want random chats with strangers. Checkout operators or anyone else.

And that’s fine and understandable. Lots of us don’t want anyone to talk to us; I certainly don’t. But most people have the basic social skills to be able to respond with a smile and a ‘fine thank you’ before breaking eye contact and moving down the end to start packing. You know, just to make that person not feel like shit. Nobody’s suggesting you be friends with them, just don’t be a dick about it.

Original poster

Curledup · 23/10/2021 18:32

That’s such a shame saraclara, you see that’s why I think it isn’t the best thing to ask as it is very personal. If you have had an absolutely awful day you probably can’t bring yourself to say “fine thanks” and do t really want to talk about it all. I think a more general question about the weather is better. It’s quite specific to ask how has your day been? It must be hard for cashiers to ask the right question though. I remember when my son was young he sometimes wore a Batman T-shirt and they often asked him where robin was! It’s was very annoying as he had never watched Batman or heard of robin. It was just a T-shirt ! But I know they were just trying to make conversation

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Original poster

Curledup · 23/10/2021 18:35

Once when I was out buying nappies without the kids there a cashier asked me how I was getting on and said I should take time to go have a coffee myself before I go home. Which was so sweet as I didn’t ever really have anyone say nice things like that. She really sounded like she genuinely cared.

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SickAndTiredAgain · 23/10/2021 19:17

@RavingAnnie

It's nothing to do with not seeing them as people, or that I'm in anyway busy or important. Lol that's laughable. I just don't want random chats with strangers. Checkout operators or anyone else.

But there’s no need to be dismissive. “Fine, thanks” is polite enough, but makes it clear you don’t want to chat.

Goawayquickly · 23/10/2021 20:01

@RavingAnnie

It's nothing to do with not seeing them as people, or that I'm in anyway busy or important. Lol that's laughable. I just don't want random chats with strangers. Checkout operators or anyone else.

No you're just rude. It's far quicker to say Fine thanks, you? Than be rude to someone who couldn't give an actual damn about you but has to be polite as part of their job.

Mynameismargot · 23/10/2021 20:09

@RavingAnnie

It's nothing to do with not seeing them as people, or that I'm in anyway busy or important. Lol that's laughable. I just don't want random chats with strangers. Checkout operators or anyone else.

Honestly, the reason you're post made me laugh is because your reply makes it sound like you think they are coming on to you or looking to be besties with you. If I was the checkout operator it would make me laugh that you thought I was there for anything other than checking out your shopping so I could paid. I wouldn't necessarily think you were rude just completely inept at day to day life.

Cantstopthewaves · 23/10/2021 20:19

I usually say "Good thanks- how's your day?".
Occasionally I've found myself asking when do they finish work but afterwards I worry they'll think I'm some kind of weird stalker so I try not to say that.

Ilikewinter · 23/10/2021 20:36

RavingAnnie

I'd rather they didn't ask. I'm not their mate. It's weird. So I just say something like "I'm just here for my shopping thank you". But I'm very anti social and hate this overfamiliarity that businesses seem to think everyone wants whilst at the same time delivering shite customer service.

Yeah its shit customer service to say hello and ask how someone is. I bet your the type of person who comes to the till talking on the phone then moans when you dont get a bag or your receipt.

BarbaraofSeville · 23/10/2021 20:48

@saraclara

I'm very happy to chat to shop staff, but I really wish they didn't ask that specific question.

I've been brought to tears twice by it, once when nursing my terminally ill DH and once just after he died. From that point on I became a fan of the self checkout tills.

I'd far rather they opened a conversation about say, something I was buying, or the weather, or pretty much anything but that.
"How's your day been?" is such a difficult question to respond to when it's been really awful, or the customer has depression, or...well there are so many circumstances where it can go wrong. And that's awful for the person on the till, as well.

This exactly. Saying 'fine thanks' because you're not allowed to say anything different and your day has been completely shit for whatever reason just illustrates how pointless the whole exchange is and how instrusive that particular question is.

It's especially difficult for anyone with autism or anyone who is very literal. I'm surprised that people on Mumsnet are generally unable to see this.

Original poster

Curledup · 23/10/2021 21:35

Do you think the staff at told you ask how the customers day has been? Or are they not really given any coaching on what to say and just told to make chit chat and invariably get it wrong inadvertently?

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thingamebob · 23/10/2021 21:42

The one I hate is 'got anything planned for the weekend/evening?
Erm, not really, my life is quite dull
Once a young lad at the checkout said 'have an awesome day', I couldn't help myself and replied 'I probably won't but thanks anyway'. Bless him with all his positivity and youthfulness

Original poster

Curledup · 23/10/2021 21:51

Aw, I like it when they are all upbeat and tell you to have a nice day. It’s the instructive questions where to onus is on me to respond with something that I find difficult. I took my kids to a fairground the other day and one of the men who worked there was so friendly and upbeat the kids remarked afterwards how nice he was !

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KitchenKrisis · 23/10/2021 21:54

Im honest and chat.
It must be boring working invisibly I think it's manner to chat and make their day a bit nicer???

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 23/10/2021 21:55

"Not bad, thanks, how's your's?" as a minimum if you're feeling awkward. I find the older I get the more I love a random conversation so for me probably "great thanks, I've finished work/got a day off and on my way home/out after this. What time are you working til?"

Alright, better now I'm on my way home. Have you been busy?"

takingmytimeonmyride · 23/10/2021 22:00

I'm autistic so generally don't like talking to checkout staff. So I usually use scan as you shop, it's great.

If I am in other shops I will answer "good thanks, you?" and secretly hope they don't carry on a conversation (because then I will get stuck for how to carry on/end it)

I never know how to reply to "have a nice day/evening" I say thank you, and sometimes say "you too" but then I think if they're working all day or all evening they might not be having a nice time and will hate me for saying that. (Me? Overthink much? Never!) This is why I prefer not to talk to people!

Sparklingbrook · 23/10/2021 22:01

Poor cashier having someone say "I'm just here for my shopping thank you". And as for them not being a mate, that means that nobody can speak to you unless they are a friend?
It might not be that the cashier is instructed to strike up a conversation but just being nice, rather than scan everything in stony silence.

I think if you can't cope with being asked 'How has your day been?' then use self scan or serve yourself tills. I'd say maybe have shopping delivered but the driver might dare to speak to you or something.