What age do you stop insisting DC wear hand-me-downs?

[ScamTheSchool]

DS11, DD9

DD9 is refusing to adopt DS's old crocs to wear around the house because they had DS's feet in them. They have been thoroughly cleaned, they are plain green and still usable.

I relented on the winter coat because I managed to get her one which was 60% off as his old one had rockets on it but we are currently at a standoff because she doesn't want his old rain coat (plain blue with yellow detail, still in good condition). She doesn't have anything against the colour blue in general so I'm not sure how much is "I want to choose my own clothes" vs "I don't want my brother's old clothes, how come he gets new" vs "It's toxic, he used to wear it!"

Am I being an awful mum to say tough, its a perfectly good rain coat, wear it?

DS2 pretty much gets his own clothes since he was about 4 or 5. He just prefers (and suits vetter) differentvtgings to DS1.
If there is something he likes, he can have it, otherwise charity shop. The only agreement we have come to this winter is that I will keep DS1 trousers for him, and he will wear them in the occasions ge needs trousers. But since that is likely to be about 10 days a year, it's not onerous! DS2 is 10.

My youngest boy age 12 is about at the last lot of the hand me downs from his brothers. They are all different body shapes now, and the clothes don't fit.
They still wear second hand clothes from others though.

DD is 10, I still expect her to wear hand me downs for expensive purchases which aren't used often, but are unisex, such as hiking boots, waterproofs, wetsuits, trainers for muddy activities, crocs, wellies etc.
I do expect her to get most of her wardrobe second hand from other girls we know though.

Depends how often she’s likely to wear the raincoat. If a few times a year on family trips, I’d ask her to wear it. If several times a month and to school, I would get another.

I know a very well to do couple who deliberately gave their dc the same initials so they could hand down expensive private school uniform... Savvy not scruffy!

My DSs are 12 and 10. Whenever older DS grows out of something, as long as it's in decent condition, it gets put in DS2's wardrobe. DS1 batters shoes so they just get chucked, but sandals/ sliders etc will get given to DS2.
But, DS2 does get bought new clothes too, so he has a mix. I don't think he's ever complained about his brother's clothes being handed on to him, but equally he could choose not to wear them.
We have older nephews and their stuff gets passed onto us. It's all generic sports wear (Nike tee shirts etc) and DS1, up to now, is chuffed to wear stuff that his older so cooler cousins have worn!

I have 2 girls, they have quite different styles. Older one prefers sports-casual style, younger is more "preppy" style.

Dd2 started rejecting certain clothes at around 8 years old, but she is quite adept at mixing and matching bits to fit in with her style.

We take clothes she won't wear to the charity shop, and try to replace them with second hand things she will wear.

I try to mainly buy second hand for DC1 too, so it isn't too unfair. They both are bought a similar amount of brand new clothes.

I've never insisted since DC2 has been old enough to have a say, and she's now 11. At the start of the season or post growth spurt we get out the bag of DC1's stuff. Usually about half to three quarters is grabbed with a shout of "I've been waiting for that!", and the rest goes to charity. I then fill the wardrobe gaps at the supermarket. This usually involves buying lots of leggings as DC2 refuses to wear jeans, which her sister wore 90% of the time.

DC2 recently admitted that if DC1 is choosing new things she has for a while now subtly steered her towards buying those items she wants to have handed down.

I've never made them wear something they didn't like though. Unless the only reason was "older dc has worn it"
We are having issues with DS "breathing over her half of the sofa" or "looking at her" 🙄

Three DSs here, with a male cousin two years older than the oldest. They've all worn hand me downs, and some things have then be passed to friends DS. They are 11, 9 and 6. There are a lot of clothes to choose from so some things get discarded each time they are passed. No-one has objected so far! They do all get clothes new sometimes, nice bits at Xmas birthdays etc. But reckon I have saved hundreds of pounds over the years, which has gone on holidays and days out.

The thing is by 9 she may have ideas about her own style which doesn’t include wearing her brother’s clothes. I have two of the same sex but could you find someone with mirror image kids (older girl, younger boy) and have a swapping arrangement?

The hand me downs worked the other way in this house, as DS outgrew his hoodies I had them. He remarked that his friends had said I saw your Mum in your hoodie, he was not pleased :)

My 7yr old ds has just recently started getting his own preferences and sense of style. He doesn't want as many of his brothers hand me downs which is fair enough.

There's also 4 years between them and fashion changes a bit in that time. They're also built slightly differently so different styles suit them, ds1 is tall and lean whereas ds2 is a bit broader.

Ugh. I remember having to wear hand me downs. They went from my suster to my cousin to me. Third hand. I can even remember thinking at 7 why can't I have my own stuff? My sister got everything new, her colours, her style and I got stuck with it. If I'd had to wear my brothers stuff, I definitely would have rebelled.

My dd is 13 and walking around in some hand me down tracksuit bottoms from my 15yo ds. She'll probably not get much more, as he is very big.

My brother gives bags of his old clothes to me and dh. We are in our 40s and both very happily wear them!

Ask her to explain exactly what's wrong with the stuff.

Mine are very close in age and there's only about one clothes size between them max. I always try to do a mix of both of them getting some new stuff and both of them being able to liberate items from their sibling's wardrobe that are outgrown or out of favour. It works OK - less so now they're developing different styles... DD1 would live in hoodies and leggings, DD2 would live in pink head to toe.

I've never forced it though - coats don't tend to get handed down as my mum is dreadful for buying them too many coats when she spots a bargain, often in the same style but different colour so they tend to get worn and go to the charity shop or a friend's child.

My children are 14 and 10 and still wear handed down and secondhand clothes and we hand down clothes to other people too. Things like crocs seem to last forever so my attitude to those would be “don’t be daft, you’re having them” as they are only for the garden (mine wore/wear theirs at the beach and when we went swimming too). Wellies get passed down the same way if they’ve been grown out of before they wear out. I’d buy her her own coat though. Maybe keep the old one as a spare in an absolute emergency or if she goes somewhere you expect her clothes to get trashed.

I think it’s fine to have hand me downs but they should have a say. I particularly wouldn’t like to have boys clothes at 9 years old. If you want to do hand me downs you maybe need to chose for your son with your daughter in mind if that makes sense

I have a 14yr old DD and her 10yr old brother wears her hand me downs all the time. He doesn't give a flying fig really. In fact, he steals her clothes given half the chance. She does dress like a Victorian fop however and he likes anything ostentatious so they're fairly happy fighting over frock coats and bowties. He's started wearing a top hat recently and has a cane.

I probably shouldn't comment tbh!