Child at school is suicidal

[velvetcandy]

There’s a child in my sons class who keeps telling everyone they want to kill themselves, and today harmed themselves in front of the kids at their table including my son (there only ten years old). The school seem uninterested in this but I obviously don’t want my child going into school sitting next to a child who’s suicidal keep telling him they want to die it’s so mad I don’t even know what to say. It’s not fair on him. What the hell shall I do?

You could make a formal complaint or call children’s services if you feel that school aren’t safeguarding the child.

NSPCC

The school will be interested in this and no doubt there will be plenty happening behind the scenes.

I'd use this as an opportunity to educate your ds about mental health.
As awful as it is, people can and do feel like this at all different ages.
To remove friends from them because of it just leads to further isolation.
Educating seems the best way imo

Empathy my dear and education.

Unfortunately, mental health issues are very common in young children. In all people.

Please do have some empathy and kindness.

Your post has made me sad.

@GannyFallopsplease

Empathy my dear and education.

Unfortunately, mental health issues are very common in young children. In all people.

Please do have some empathy and kindness.

Your post has made me sad.

Why has it made you sad? The fact that the school aren't arsed, CAHMS waiting lists are years long, and a child literally crying out for help isn't getting any professional support? That's the real sad part, not OP being concerned that her young son is subject to that at school and is powerless to help.

Why do you think the school aren't concerned? They will not be telling you what they are doing.

It's all made me sad. The fact that it is one persons version of events . Primarily and naturally concerned for the welfare of their own child.
I say that as someone with severe mental health issues ( take a look on the mental Health boards as I post regularly).

The whole thing is horrendously sad. Op, if that concerned, should speak to the DSL at school. Without a doubt.

@CaptainMyCaptain

Why do you think the school aren't concerned? They will not be telling you what they are doing.

No, they won’t. But they absolutely do have to tell parents how they are going to prevent their children being exposed to this in the future. Yes, it’s very sad for the child who is suicidal and self harming but at the same time they have to protect the other children too.

I’d be absolutely livid if my 10 year old came home and told me their class mate who has been telling them they wanted to commit suicide then went on to self harm in front of them.

From the way the OP has worded this, they have already brought up the issue with school before today’s self harm incident.

You have no idea whether the school is interested or not, and nor should you know. Nor were you in class, so have no idea what really happened.

My concern would not be for my child but the child in question. I would raise with the school in the context of concern for that child. Then I would trust them to do thier job and do the best they can for that child.

I’m surprised that people would not be concerned at their child witnessing another child harm themselves after telling them several times that they wanted to kill themselves.
If school aren’t protecting other children from witnessing that then it’s emotional abuse, and as a parent I wouldn’t want to know how they are going to protect MY child from that.

To be honest my concern is my child and how this is effecting my child. Yes it’s sad but this other child is not my problem. I have enough on my plate and their behaviour is not acceptable the school are down playing it and it’s not effecting my child it’s not no. It’s sad granted but not my place to help them

@Geamhradh

You have no idea whether the school is interested or not, and nor should you know. Nor were you in class, so have no idea what really happened.

This 👆

What do you want to happen OP?

Was the teacher made aware that the child had actually self harmed in the lesson? It's surprisingly easy to do without being noticed if a teacher is busy teaching.

@SummerHouse

My concern would not be for my child but the child in question. I would raise with the school in the context of concern for that child. Then I would trust them to do thier job and do the best they can for that child.

No.

My concerns would be for my child.

I'd be sympathetic to the other child but ultimately dont want my kid to see anything like this especially not at school.

Your level of empathy and concern for another child astounds me OP

@Bellyups

Your level of empathy and concern for another child astounds me OP

I agree with the OP. My primary concern would be for my child. I wouldn’t expect to send my child into school to be exposed to that. It’s very sad for the child who is self harming and suicidal, but my child is my responsibility and I wouldn’t want them exposed to that at all. As a parent my priority will always be MY child.

I agree with OP too.
What on earth are the school doing?

@velvetcandy

To be honest my concern is my child and how this is effecting my child. Yes it’s sad but this other child is not my problem. I have enough on my plate and their behaviour is not acceptable the school are down playing it and it’s not effecting my child it’s not no. It’s sad granted but not my place to help them

I agree with you. There is unfortunately an element of contagion when it comes to self-harm.

I say this as someone who works with children who do self harm and have suicidal ideation.

You are right to be concerned and I would want to be reassured by the school that the other child is receiving support and that my child would be protected too. If no reassurance was given I would report to SS in respect of safeguarding for the child and Ofsted in respect of the school.

It’s not a case of either/ or. Early exposure to suicide/ suicidal ideation increases risk for children later in life.
Likewise, this boy desperately needs help. I’d support my child to understand that the other boy is clearly upset and struggling to know how to deal with it. I’d let them know that this way of dealing with it doesn’t help and is a very dangerous way of trying to let people know how he’s feels. I’d help them come up with strategies to keep them and him safe, and if they are friends, to help him be happier/ distracted in school time. I’d also make a call to safeguarding on behalf of both my son and the other child.
I’ve some relevant experience, both professionally and as a parent of children who’ve had troubled friends.

I would also be very concerned for the child and hope that they get the support they need, but I would be more concerned for the well-being of my own child. I wouldn’t want them exposed to potentially traumatic or inappropriate experiences whilst at school.

You should phone and ask to speak to the head teacher.

This is a safeguarding issue for all of the children. If the school is not aware / not supporting the child who is feeling this way they should be. CAMHs has waiting lists but these can be surpassed if a child is really at need.

The children who are being exposed to this also need support.

Ask to speak to the school safeguarding lead face to face ASAP. Insist. Escalate from there. The child needs help, and yours doesn't need to be exposed to this.

@velvetcandy

To be honest my concern is my child and how this is effecting my child. Yes it’s sad but this other child is not my problem. I have enough on my plate and their behaviour is not acceptable the school are down playing it and it’s not effecting my child it’s not no. It’s sad granted but not my place to help them

So you're just going to ignore the poor child too then?