Saw a chat taking the mick out of me in a meeting

[Snoopfroggyfrogg]

Hi all,

I feel a bit deflated and down.

I have just started retraining and was in an online seminar today presenting an article. Someone did their presentation after me, closed the window they were sharing and a chat screen was visible for several seconds to the whole group.

The person was taking the mick out of me with one or two other people from the class. What I saw was something about how I was being enthusiastic and a lot of laughter emojis and my name jumped out a few times although I'm not sure what it said further down. So, nothing horrible as far as I read but it's still not very nice that people I don't know well were taking the mick, and everyone saw.

I am actually quite nervous and have had to build up over the years to being able to present with confidence and speak publicly. I felt belittled and foolish especially as I am newer to the subject than a lot of the group. I did jokingly mention the chat when it popped up so it was obvious I had seen.

Personally, I would have messaged privately to apologise and say nothing malicious was meant by it but I have not heard from those involved. We haven't really been a group long and have been mostly working remotely so don't all know each other (some live in halls together but I'm older)? Would you do or expect anything more here or just take it on the chin and put it down to immaturity?

The tutor should send out a email outline acceptable conduct, fair enough to raise it.

@TractorAndHeadphones

I disagree, part of the role of a lecturer is to understand and manage the dynamics in groups. It’s not the same as escalating in the workplace.

I’ve done that job and I would absolutely want to know and would deal with it by reiterating what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour and then keeping an eye on things.

@Rogue1001

I'm so impressed ypu made a comment at the time. Good for you.... Powerful Strong Straight Assertive

Feel proud 💪 but also cos I understand why this has rocked you.

Absolutely fine to mention it to the group leader. Especially around professionalism and a heavy hint that (a) an apology would be appreciated and (b) a strong expectation this will never happen again.

You have the moral high ground. Hold your head high and keep carrying on.

But here's a hug for how rubbish you must be feeling x

Rogue said everything I was going to say!

Extra hug!

Presenting is sodding tough anyway never mind having twats on your course.

You could mention to the group leader you saw it in the context of asking for feedback. "Was my presentation ok? I saw on the screen it was being discussed by other members of the group in group chat"

Hi all! Yes, I've slept on it and am actually quite tempted to raise it, definitely not as a grievance or wanting the group leader to take any action against the individual, but as PPs have mentioned, with a view to setting some ground rules. I just don't want this to become the pervasive atmosphere.

Yes, people will talk about each other sometimes, fine, and I get that I stand out as I am older and probably come across a bit different as I've had years of work experience. However, I think that during these sessions just isn't a place for it, we can be supportive as well as irreverent outside. I suppose the point is that I can suck this up if need be, but don't think that would lead to us all getting the best out of the course. Urgh. That running to the teacher feeling though.

Sounds like the right decision OP. Good luck

Ah welcome to the world of bring a slightly older woman where your place is to be quiet and invisible...

Silly you for not realising that and actually still being a person!

Yes do raise it and don't let yourself be put off by it.

Well done on the retraining and good luck

@Snoopfroggyfrogg

Hi all! Yes, I've slept on it and am actually quite tempted to raise it, definitely not as a grievance or wanting the group leader to take any action against the individual, but as PPs have mentioned, with a view to setting some ground rules. I just don't want this to become the pervasive atmosphere.

Yes, people will talk about each other sometimes, fine, and I get that I stand out as I am older and probably come across a bit different as I've had years of work experience. However, I think that during these sessions just isn't a place for it, we can be supportive as well as irreverent outside. I suppose the point is that I can suck this up if need be, but don't think that would lead to us all getting the best out of the course. Urgh. That running to the teacher feeling though.

Please do mention it. As a lecturer I would want to address this under terms of acceptable behaviour for online learning just as I would call it out if I saw it face to face.