Please tell me about your life with one child

[sarahb083]

I think we’re one and done but everyone I know with older children has 2+. I’m struggling to picture what our life will be like with one child.

If you have one, what’s your life like? What do you do on weekends? How much free time do you have?

I'm a single parent with one 17 year old
I'd say life is pretty good now. He is reasonably independent, has a Saturday job, friends, Duke of Edinbugh
Weekends he does his thing, I do mine. I have an allotment, gym, theatre, gigs, cinema, whatever.
We still do lots of things together though once a month or so we will get a takeaway and watch a movie,every couple of weeks we will have breakfast or lunch out. We still have holidays and weekends away together. We are big athletics fans and go to meetings, really looking forward to the Commonwealth games next year. We still talk a lot.
Things have evolved from having virtually no time to myself to doing mostly what I want to do, when I want to. I wouldnt leave him overnight yet but that's not far off.
I'm enjoying this part of out lives and seeing him grow into independence

Mine's just 8.
I didn't have a clear number of children in my mind however I love the early years so I think if there was the option I'd always love another.
But me and her dad split up. So just her and no plans to have another
But I'm ok with that. Yeah there's not loads to time to yourself or anything but ite don't have to worry about splitting time between people etc..
More money to go out places than if you had two
It suits me really
I've no idea what'll happen in the future but I think we're closer at the minute because it's me and her together

Mine is 5 and i think we're one and done. It keeps getting easier, she's mature for her age, independent, social so has lots of friends for playdates and is happy going to holiday and kids clubs.
She'll happily play in her room in a morning so we can lay in.
I know if i have another things will get harder, though i do miss the baby stage.
She also says she doesn't want a sibling, i think it helps she has a few in her year who are only children.

One 20 ds with his own life but we are close and things are great. He has a wide social network I hardly see him but love our time together he is great company.

I'm a single parent with one 5 year old and it's been easy peasy since he turned 4.

Thanks for the responses. It sounds like life with one can be lovely.

Any other responses very welcome!

I’ve got a five year old and a DP that doesn’t want any more children. Disclaimer - I’m desperate for another, so what I say next is obviously coloured by that.

YES, I now have more free time and am not as ‘in demand’ as I was in the baby and toddler years in some ways. Obviously I adore DS and he’s amazing, but I do find that I feel sorry for him. I have a brother, and on weekends and school holidays we would play together and have an amazing time and my parents would be able to join in when they wanted but also carry on doing what they were doing/chill out etc. In contrast, I find weekends hard going because DS is at an age where he wants a lot of social interaction. He can play independently beautifully, but I’m so sad for him that, unless we organise a play date, I’m all he has to play with. I don’t play well, I don’t enjoy it, I don’t manage to be silly and imaginative like a peer for him would. I try, but it’s not enough in my mind.

Similarly, we’ve just been for a week in the Lake District and I just felt like we were punishing him really. A week out of school, spent with two adults. I tried to make it fun and lovely and he said he had a good time, but I feel like he’s missing out on so much. I’m not sure I want to take him on week long holidays anymore.

I don’t want to hurt any ones feelings that have only children, obviously DS is fine and we’re giving him the best life possible, but as a woman who has a brother and wants another baby, I do feel really sad for him and it does colour most days for me. He also asks for a sibling every other day, if not daily and I promise that’s not because I talk about it to him, I don’t.

I'm not hurt
There are swings and roundabouts to having just one
But there are also swings and roundabouts to having more than one
Just the way I see it, you can't guarantee it would be better having more than one so no point thinking about it really

I have a 14yo DD, I only ever wanted one child. Our relationship is great, challenging at times of course but she goes out with her friends and I do with mine and goes to sports club during the week but we do spend time together. Holidays are easy, having to pay for childcare, clothing etc for one is certainly beneficial! To be honest since she was a baby and passed certain stages I thought there’s no way I can do all this again 😆!

Over the years she did ask for a sibling and my answer was always the same “you can make friends!” I’m the youngest of four siblings and I don’t talk to any of them so make of that what you will!

I love it. No sibling nonsense, which appears to be 50% of parenting in other houses. We can indulge her interests, and she indulges mine!

All around great.

Absolutely love life with my only. We can afford things for him, childcare was never an issue with friends/fam/grandparents as one is easy. He's 12 now and really independent. He values his friendships a lot.
He has asked if we can take a friend on holiday next year and I'm fine with that.
He's my best bud really. We're really close.

I have one she's 10. I'd love another but I really love the relationship we have. We are very, very close. Everyone always comments how close we are. We mostly do o everything together, she jumps In my bed with me, watch the same films, she gives me fashion and hair advice . I honestly don't know if I could love or have this relationship with another child.

It's wonderful. If 1 is the right number for you then don't let what others are doing make you feel that you're getting wrong because you're not.

I had massive wobbles when DS was younger but he's 13 now and I'm so glad we stuck with 1. It's absolutely right for us.

I will say it's important to invest in their friendships. Start with play dates, whole class parties etc. We often have DS's friends with us and they've always been welcome in our home.

The more you invite the more invitations you get back and as a result I've had a good balance of time to myself and family time. Now that he's older I spend a lot of time on taxi duty.

Holidays are tricky. I absolutely hate pool side holidays, we've done a couple and i did feel sad for DS having only us adults for the 1st couple of days until he made friends. The best holidays for us are busy ones so we do city breaks. Places like London, York, Barcelona. Places with lots to do and see AlohaMolly that might be something which will help you. I dont think it's fair to take an only chid on a holiday like the lake district, fine for a weekend but it puts too much pressure on you to keep them entertained and there's not much there for kids really.

Trips like Legoland, Blackpool, glamping at Warwick Castle. I'd rather do things like that through the year than a week sitting next to a pool watching the other families kids all play together.

Something else which helped us massively is living in a cul de sac close to school. The DC all play out together after school every day, even now that they're teenagers they go out and play basketball together.

To add, like other posters i'm also very close to my daughter, she's like my shadow, we have pamper nights doing hair and nails, girls movie and pizza night.
Easier to plan holidays/days out as only 1 age to accommodate, cheaper holidays too

I also agree that we're very very close. We're a great little team the 3 of us. For us we made sure that he's never felt its us and him. So we don't do, for example, birthday meals just DH and I. In a few years DS will be off doing his own thing and we'll have our time back but throughout his childhood he's always been included.

I also think it's important as they get older to back off a bit and give them some space. I think too much attention at this age could suffocate them. Same as he gets older, he needs to be free to go and live his own life. No guilt at Christmas if he doesn't want to spend it with us for example.

Great. He’s a lovely, bright, kind kid (14) and I hugely enjoy his company even when he’s a stroppy teen.

Surely if you've got one child you know what it's like. Don't you need to know what life is like with 2 or more?

We have one and are done, we knew when he was very very little that we had no desire for another (a lot of sleep issues which are only just improving and he's nearly 10!). I have the loveliest relationship with DS, we are very close and do lovely things as a family.
There are really hard times though, I won't lie. School holidays are difficult in the sense that ds craves being around other children. Summer holidays just gone I think we spent the grand total of 3 days having a "home day" because he wanted to be with other children. These days were filled with his constant need for attention...play this game, read this book every second of the day, and I found it hard as there were humdrum tasks that I needed to do. As bad as that sounds, dinner won't cook itself, clothes don't wash themselves.
Also, I suffer pangs of guilt when he asks if he could have a sibling. He asks on a weekly basis and I feel so guilty that it was our choice to only have one, it was not his choice to be the only one.
I'd never have another now, I honestly could not put us through nearly 10 years of feeling like I've been dug up, but had I k own back then how much it would have meant to ds then I would have put up with the pain.

I love it
Been all kinds of places just me and him (I'm a single parent) and we are great mates. My house is peaceful and free from squabbles. He has loads of friends (which is a blessing - I realise it would be different for a more introverted or less sociable kid) but he doesn't miss out on socialising.
When he was little I used to take him to the park or soft play for hours and he would link up with other kids. I also arranged a lot of play dates. I didn't mind being the host so it was usually easy. People with lots of kids appreciate you taking theirs for an afternoon or day.
I genuinely don't think he's missed out.

Myself and DH have one 8yo DD. Without sounding cheesy she was a bit of a miracle baby in the sense we tried for years, I had a huge chocolate cyst (endometriosis) when I was expecting her. Then we tried for more and it never happened. We have a lovely life, she used to get sad about not having a sibling and she would've made a really brilliant sister but we've all accepted it now. Weekends she goes swimming, piano lesson. Then we will do something or she'll play Roblox with her friends. Sunday same but we will try and have a walk somewhere. DH and I are now starting to have more hobbies in the evenings too. No I can't complain at all

@ineedaholidayandwine sorry if this is a stupid question as i don't have any DC yet but how are holidays cheaper? like all the family hotel rooms seems to provide for 2 parents and 2 DC. Ditto for admission tickets. I guess airline/train tickets would be cheaper but for me thats not a significant percentage of holiday costs. Food and drink would be cheaper for 1 as opposed to 2 but i tend to share food anyway so any savings wouldn't be significant....

I’m also very close to my son.
I plan holidays very carefully but they are a compromise.
We visit friends in Cornwall each year, their kids are older but young enough be in big brother/sister mode. They give him a lot of time and attention and have taught him to surf and paddle board. We meet up at least once a year with another group of friends, usually 10 to 12 kids around.
Other holidays we are on our own but do a mix of stuff he wants to do and a few things for me. We’ve never had a bad holiday.
Next year we are taking his best mate with us for a week.

For us cheaper in that we're only paying flight charges/excursions/entry fees for 3, also jet2/tui offer free child places for 1 child.
At 5 she has her own meal and couldn't share ours as there wouldn't be enough (we never self cater) plus we like to be able to order spicy food.

My only is 14. She's awesome, and we can give her way more than if we'd had more children. By that, I mean our time, money and experiences. She is quite a homey person, which can be draining when she wants to talk and only has us, however we are very close and share a lot of interests. We can indulge her very pricey hobby and plan to get her a car for her 17th. We make sure that her friends are always welcome in our home and we're quite happy to taxi her around to various places.

My DD is quite young for her age, but we really enjoy the person she's growing up to be.

We’ve also always had a standard room with 1 double and a sofa bed, would cost extra for a family room or to hire a roll out bed