Please tell me about your life with one child

[sarahb083]

I think we’re one and done but everyone I know with older children has 2+. I’m struggling to picture what our life will be like with one child.

If you have one, what’s your life like? What do you do on weekends? How much free time do you have?

I love it! We are a happy family of 3.Ds is 7 now and plays and potters about happily.We have more time for him and can afford treats and days out etc.
It's a fairly chilled household as there is no squabbling etc that comes with having children in the house.I don't regret my decision at all.

@AlohaMolly

I’ve got a five year old and a DP that doesn’t want any more children. Disclaimer - I’m desperate for another, so what I say next is obviously coloured by that.

YES, I now have more free time and am not as ‘in demand’ as I was in the baby and toddler years in some ways. Obviously I adore DS and he’s amazing, but I do find that I feel sorry for him. I have a brother, and on weekends and school holidays we would play together and have an amazing time and my parents would be able to join in when they wanted but also carry on doing what they were doing/chill out etc. In contrast, I find weekends hard going because DS is at an age where he wants a lot of social interaction. He can play independently beautifully, but I’m so sad for him that, unless we organise a play date, I’m all he has to play with. I don’t play well, I don’t enjoy it, I don’t manage to be silly and imaginative like a peer for him would. I try, but it’s not enough in my mind.

Similarly, we’ve just been for a week in the Lake District and I just felt like we were punishing him really. A week out of school, spent with two adults. I tried to make it fun and lovely and he said he had a good time, but I feel like he’s missing out on so much. I’m not sure I want to take him on week long holidays anymore.

I don’t want to hurt any ones feelings that have only children, obviously DS is fine and we’re giving him the best life possible, but as a woman who has a brother and wants another baby, I do feel really sad for him and it does colour most days for me. He also asks for a sibling every other day, if not daily and I promise that’s not because I talk about it to him, I don’t.

Yeah I felt like that when DS was an only. Could have written the whole thing actually. Plus I felt a lot of pressure to always be 100% smiley and happy all the time and just basically be everything at all times.

Then DD came along when he was 4 and I felt so guilty about him having to share me but he's not a bit jealous and he adores her. Ok we don't have the special days out just the two of us any more but he doesn't seem to miss that - if we ever go out without DD he wants to go home to her before long. And it's more than made up for when she smiles at him and he's so delighted. Or she does something new and he's just amazed. He's learning a lot and they have a lovely little bond. I would totally recommend having a second to anyone who wants one.

Our life is great! We knew pretty much as soon as we had DD we didn't want more, I'd always assumed I'd want two but We both really struggled with the baby stage & we just couldn't face it again.

DD is really independent because she's always gone to activities/holiday club etc on her own, makes friends everywhere & life is much easier ferrying around one kid to activities etc than juggling more.

We can afford good holidays, we'll be mortgage free at 45ish because we have more disposable income.

We also have a lot of play dates & sleepovers because it's easier for us with only one & the other parents like getting rid of one of theirs!

She has always been good at entertaining herself & isn't clingy, during lock down she played for hours (literally!) & home school was much easier with only one.

We have 1 DS who's 15 and it's great. My brother and I physically fought until the day I left home at 19.

I remember DS seeing siblings argue about who looked at each other first and saying 'I'm glad I'm an only child'. The benefits are we can give him more financially and time wise than if we had 2 kids.

Holidays are fine. DS is into history and we do city breaks in Various places.

I am an only and so is my DS. DS has always had lots of good friends and he really values his alone time. He's an adult now but we've always enjoyed each others company and he's the funniest person I know.

When he was younger we lived in a row with a communal garden and loads of other children which he loved. I encouraged sleepovers and activities. He was always very confident so mixed really well. He has never wanted siblings.

I do worry that it's just us but with my friends who have siblings very few get on with each other.

@onlychildhamster

all the incidentals like ice creams, drinks etc add up. We also like to eat out, children’s meals were not enough for my son from about age 10.

Many places count 12 as adults for flights, admissions etc. My holidays have effectively been 2 adults since the age of 12.
We were seriously excited this year on the Isle of Wight when several things we did charged 16 year olds as children.

Mine is just 7. I didn't have her until I was nearly 41, I was menopausal at 42, so no more options for children. We wouldn't have chosen to have another one anyway.

She's ace. We can spend lots of time and money on doing cool stuff with her. We have to make sure she has a lot of child contact, so is in holiday clubs etc quite a lot, and we have to go on holiday where there are kids to play with, or spend time with friends with kids. We find that if we don't do that she behaves in a really spoiled sort of way. We were able to afford to take time off work to do a ski season with her, which was great for all of us.

She is sometimes sad that she doesn't have a sibling, but also recognises that her cousins argue more than they get on as siblings.

We've got one DS, who's 8 and we aways said we'd just have one, even before ds came along, and we've happily stayed that way.

We've got a brilliant relationship, I love spending time with him, he's a brilliant little
companion, we have a very similar sense of humour and I look forward to school holidays and weekends so much.

We're lucky in that he does like and really appreciates having his own space and has interests like reading and computers that let him do this, but equally he's just as happy doing the sports he does with his teams, and has a brilliant group of friends.

We've always made it clear we're happy to include his friends in days out if he's wanted us to, sometimes he has, sometimes he hasn't. He's also got a few friends both in and outside of school that are only children as well which really helps.

He's never really asked about siblings, and I think he knows now it wouldn't happen,but when he had in the past we've just said that we're happy as we are, that we can do things with him now that we couldn't if he had a sibling for numerous reasons, money, time, restrictions with having a younger sibling etc and he's always been happy with that.