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Original poster

Help me assertive...hotel

107 replies

Yummypumpkin · 19/10/2021 10:06

I'm staying in a hotel alone.

It's generally OK, though I've paid over the odds for it.

The issue is every morning at breakfast the lady asks if I'd like my room serviced.

I would. I'd like the bin emptied, towels folded, tea and coffee topped up, the odd surface wiped, more toilet roll.

So I say yes.

She then stares at me until I say no.

I want to get my room serviced but I really struggle with assertiveness. I don't know if she is the owner or staff. There is never anyone on reception.

I don't want to go through the same thing tomorrow.

How would you handle this? I know it sounds basic but her start is very hard and when I've heard her ask other guests they too have said yes please then no it is fine!!

OP posts:
LetHimHaveIt · 19/10/2021 12:42

I was on your side until I saw the thing about the heater. You can't leave it on all day, ffs! Doubtless they're trying to recoup some of the cost of your eccentric decision to heat an empty room.

Original poster
Yummypumpkin · 19/10/2021 12:43

@ShirleyPhallus that's too kind (and funny!). You know what...there is one of those signs and I will do that tomorrow!!!!! Thank you!!

@Clandestin I would find that very difficult. Some people do struggle with assertiveness. That is why I asked for advice, as I said in my first post. And the advice has really helped.

@Movinghouseatlast fair point. I am in the Scottish Highlands and left the heater on 2 out of a maximum of 10 because returning from an 8 hour hike soaking wet, it genuinely is nice for the room to be warm. With respect, I don't think this is unreasonable, nor are you the one in wet clothes and shivering....it is not pleasant.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yummypumpkin · 19/10/2021 12:45

@LetHimHaveIt the heater is left on a setting of 2 out of 10. I am in the North of Scotland, hiking all day. Rain has been constant and I appreciate the room not being freezing when I get in.

OP posts:

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Holidays
Original poster
Yummypumpkin · 19/10/2021 12:46

@Tickledtrout I did wonder this, but the staff seem fairly relaxed. And they haven't said this.

Anyway it's not the end of the world!

OP posts:
Thatsplentyjack · 19/10/2021 12:48

I dont understand how her staring at people is then making everyone change their mind and say no. Is she some sort of hypnotist?

Thatsplentyjack · 19/10/2021 12:50

I'm now picturing all this happening in a certain hotel in aviemore and I don't know why 🤣.

liveforsummer · 19/10/2021 12:51

It sounds more like she's waiting for you to say exactly what you want however that in it's self is odd. A room cleaner should know what needs done by looking. As above just say yes please and walk away. Leave your sign on the door too

Gazelda · 19/10/2021 12:51

If you really can't face being assertive and making a reasonable request, would it help if you did it by email?
"Dear housekeeping
I'm staying for x nights in room 101
While I appreciate your team are being mindful of covid and green initiatives, I'd really like my room services each day for the remainder of my stay.
Adequate refreshments, regularly fresh towels, bin emptied. (And whatever else is important to you).
I would prefer not to be questioned on this each morning, as it is a service I had expected as a minimum for the booking I've made at this hotel and the enjoyment of my stay is being marred by having to justify my requirements at breakfast time.
With thanks ... "

Movinghouseatlast · 19/10/2021 12:53

I'm afraid it is very wrong to leave the heater on all day when you are out. Have you any idea how much it costs? Hospitality in general is on its knees at the moment having lost so much money from Covid. Electric heaters are particularly costly.

I would perhaps ask at reception if they can turn the heater on half an hour before you get in rather than leave it on all day long.

Original poster
Yummypumpkin · 19/10/2021 12:54

@Gazelda

That is what I wanted to do this morning. That is normally how I handle any conflict.

But then I thought...am I bonkers??? So I came on here for advice!

Anyways thanks all...I will try a couple of things, but its still a nice holiday so I'm.not going to fixate on it...especially now I have 22 sachets of nescafe!!

OP posts:
liveforsummer · 19/10/2021 12:57

If it's a room with a key card or fob slot the heater will go out automatically when you go out anyway. If it's not it's definitely worth asking at reception to have it turned on at a certain time. As it's currently most Scottish school holidays though the price might not actually reflect the standard of the hotel. Not that that's an excuse for poor service.

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/10/2021 12:59

I would perhaps ask at reception if they can turn the heater on half an hour before you get in rather than leave it on all day long.

Just do this. And also stop leaving your laptop on charge all day. Your laptop should be locked away while you're out all day anyway.

It sounds like costs are very tight at this hotel. Hardly surprising given the current economic climate. They're probably running on reduced staff too. Whilst it's not really your problem, have a bit of consideration for them.

At the same time, stop being so wimpy. They still need to offer you a hotel service. Just tell them what you want i.e. I want my bed changing / clean towels / the bin emptying / the room fully serviced today.

ShirleyPhallus · 19/10/2021 13:01

Just do this. And also stop leaving your laptop on charge all day. Your laptop should be locked away while you're out all day anyway.

Why do so many posters on MN have such a bossy, prissy, school marm-ish tone to them of scolding other posters?

Original poster
Yummypumpkin · 19/10/2021 13:05

@ShirleyPhallus

Thank you!! I've had some relevant advice but also many pointers in life....perhaps I should also lose weight, call my mother more often and repaint my dining room in a neutral tone...

OP posts:
FrankGrillosFloof · 19/10/2021 13:11

Ah, you’re in the Highlands… it all makes sense now. You can’t win, OP - just enjoy your 22 coffees and count them as a small victory in an unwinnable battle of wills.

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/10/2021 13:13

@ShirleyPhallus

Just do this. And also stop leaving your laptop on charge all day. Your laptop should be locked away while you're out all day anyway.

Why do so many posters on MN have such a bossy, prissy, school marm-ish tone to them of scolding other posters?

Oh the irony. The OP wants help to be assertive yet posters being assertive get criticised for being assertive.

From the Collins dictionary: Assertive

ADJECTIVE
Someone who is assertive states their needs and opinions clearly, so that people take notice.

Synonyms: confident, firm, demanding, decided

ShagMeRiggins · 19/10/2021 13:28

I'm afraid it is very wrong to leave the heater on all day when you are out.

Why is it wrong? It’s set at 2 out of 10.

Have you any idea how much it costs?

Why would she? Surely that’s the business of the hotel to manage. They’re free to include this cost and adjust their rates accordingly.

And also stop leaving your laptop on charge all day.

How else will it charge? Is OP meant to stay in until it’s fully charged and then leave? Is she meant to charge it overnight while she sleeps (which takes just as long)?

Your laptop should be locked away while you're out all day anyway.. It is. It’s locked away in her hotel room.

Only on mumsnet can a thread about shoddy hotel service (no coffee replacement, no loo roll replacement, full bins, unfolded towels, etc) turn into “you’re hotelling all wrong and won’t you just think of the poor owners while you spend £100 per night for a freezing room to come back to on your holiday?!”

2Two · 19/10/2021 13:40

Surely it's easy enough to turn away when they give you the stare? And next time, if they ask you what you want done, say "A normal hotel room service, please"; if they're still questioning you, point out that hotels don't normally ask their guests to tell them how to do their jobs.

Ducksareruiningmypatio · 19/10/2021 13:46

@Thatsplentyjack

I'm now picturing all this happening in a certain hotel in aviemore and I don't know why 🤣.
Haha I might have stayed there too Some of the hotels around there are absolutely shocking for what they charge!
ShirleyPhallus · 19/10/2021 13:48

@HundredMilesAnHour there’s a huge difference in giving someone help and advice to addressing a specific situation and then telling them off for doing something that they haven’t invited opinion on

Grellbunt · 19/10/2021 13:49

I know the type of place you're experiencing! Good luck!

nomoneytreehere · 19/10/2021 14:11

£100 a night (presumably including breakfast from what you have written is cheap for a hotel). Odd they don't want to service your room though.

TheAverageUser · 19/10/2021 14:15

You're update made me laugh OP Grin I would just say please service my room this morning and then before she says anything say thank you so much and walk off.

pinkflask · 19/10/2021 14:24

Classic MN: £100 is cheap, you should shiver instead of wasting the poor hotel owner's electricity, lock away your laptop because you'd only left it in your locked room, clean your own room, make your own breakfast, and probably just sleep in your own bed at home (while paying full whack) because it's really difficult for the owners to deal with people wanting to sleep there every night.

IntermittentParps · 19/10/2021 14:38

next time, if they ask you what you want done, say "A normal hotel room service, please"; if they're still questioning you, point out that hotels don't normally ask their guests to tell them how to do their jobs.
Exactly this.
For heaven's sake, who do they think they are and more to the point, what do they think they're charging money for?