Nurses - do you enjoy your job?

[DratThatCat]

Im 41 and I really, really, really want to start my nursing training in a couple of years when both of my kids are at high school, but after reading the midwife thread on AIBU I'm worried about what I'm letting myself in for. I know nursing has never been an easy job, its thankless and underfunded, but is bullying common? Are patient lives being put at risk because of staff shortages? Do you ever regret being a nurse? Any insights are much appreciated!

Love the patients m, hate the bullying, unpaid overtime, lazy unsafe colleagues who are not managed effectively. Hate coming home and worrying I’ve missed something or harmed someone. Hate feeling pressured into overtime. Hate missing birthdays, Christmas, sports days etc because of unsocial hours requirement. Hated not being able to see my family because they were scared of me during COVID.

I was a Nurse for 35 years. Worked with so many bullies right from starting training at aged 18. The last place I worked for 15 years and loved a lot of the staff but boy there were some nasty bitches too.
I worked in a place that was private/ charity funded and we had good staff ratios but it still felt unsafe. After one particular nightshift of horror I handed my notice in there and then.
I am in a new career now and can honestly say I love it even though it has it's challenges. I get Christmas off every year, a week in fact. It is a lot lower paid but the difference in stress levels from Nursing feels enormous. In Nursing I was constantly anxious I had missed something, that everything was my fault etc. I think in part it stemmed from the fact that as an 18 year old student, I was doing a bedbath for the first time ever under the supervision of a tutor,. During this bedbath the patient died. Nothing was said about it, no debrief, no-one asked if we were ok etc. That would not happen nowadays. I honestly think if I had trained as student nurses do today I would have been ok, but back in the eighties we were completely thrown in the deep end and the repercussions of that stayed with me for a long time.

User 1471 - Would you say the negatives outweigh the positives for you? It sounds really stressful

@Babyroobs

I was a Nurse for 35 years. Worked with so many bullies right from starting training at aged 18. The last place I worked for 15 years and loved a lot of the staff but boy there were some nasty bitches too. I worked in a place that was private/ charity funded and we had good staff ratios but it still felt unsafe. After one particular nightshift of horror I handed my notice in there and then. I am in a new career now and can honestly say I love it even though it has it's challenges. I get Christmas off every year, a week in fact. It is a lot lower paid but the difference in stress levels from Nursing feels enormous. In Nursing I was constantly anxious I had missed something, that everything was my fault etc. I think in part it stemmed from the fact that as an 18 year old student, I was doing a bedbath for the first time ever under the supervision of a tutor,. During this bedbath the patient died. Nothing was said about it, no debrief, no-one asked if we were ok etc. That would not happen nowadays. I honestly think if I had trained as student nurses do today I would have been ok, but back in the eighties we were completely thrown in the deep end and the repercussions of that stayed with me for a long time.

Wow, thats horrendous! I'm so sorry you had to go through that as a student. Can I ask what job you moved to? Is it health related?

I've been a nurse a long time and I have never experienced bullying until recently. Its awful if it's happening on your ward. The stresses are enormous at present but on the whole I would say the positives do outweigh the negatives.

I work for a leading cancer charity as an adviser ( not Nursing advice). It is kind of health related in that I support clients with disability forms and benefits, so the medical knowledge comes in handy. I still have to deal with a lot of distressed clients who are terminally ill or bereaved many of them young, but sorting out their finances is not the same as being on the frontline of Nursing them. I feel as though I still use a lot of my communication skills in my new role.
I hope you manage to follow your dream. Like I said I think for Nursing students nowadays things are a lot different, they are better supported and if bullying happens they are taken seriously. There is a lot more support.

I'm a nursing student, so following with interest.

30 years in and can’t wait to retire tbh. Would I start training in my 40s - no way. Love my actual job and most of the patients but sadly there is bullying. Also bitching and cliques. If your face doesn’t fit, life can be awful.
I loved working on a ward soon after training but wouldn’t do it now. Have the upmost respect for the nurses who do. Risking your PIN number every shift must be awful. I work in ICU which is a different kind of stress but at least we have decent medical support and usually one to one nursing. The wards are horrendously understaffed, dependency on agency nurses and poor access to medics. If I wanted to work in health care I’d choose physiotherapy, podiatry or dietetics, even social work. Way more autonomy. More respect off patients.

Paeds nurse here - lucky to have never worked anywhere with bullying or negative culture. A lot of hospitals/wards have the reputation though. I love my job but don't love shifts - but there are lots of options with different working hours. What kind of nursing are you interested in?

And I would also say that through those 35 years there were positives. My Nursing career enabled me and dh to live and work abroad for 5 years, and I have never had problems finding work. I was able to continue nursing even when having four small children as my employers were flexible letting me work weekends, nights etc around my dh's 9-5 job so that childcare wasn't an issue.

I left nursing best thing I did, I'm a swimming teacher and love it. I wouldn't recommend nursing many end up leaving.

I got out of the hospital due to staff shortages etc, but I love working in the community.

I did my return to practice in 2019 and went back as a Band 5 on an acute medicine ward. I left within 3 months… absolutely hated the hospital, it was brutal. And that was pre-pandemic!

I’m in the community now and I absolutely love it. Yes it’s stressful at times and the staffing levels are difficult but I wouldn’t do anything else. I was contacted this week and asked to apply for a more senior post back in the hospital and had no hesitation in saying no!

If you have no experience of Nursing I strongly recommend getting a job within the hospital setting, preferably as a HCA, to get a feel of what it’s like before you commit to the training.

I’m an Emergency Nurse Practitioner and I love it - it has its stresses, obviously, but I mostly have nice interactions with patients, I have lovely colleagues, and it’s very satisfying. There are problems with management, and a lot of shuffling of services, but overall, I love it. I really wouldn’t do anything else at the moment.

Unfortunately not I’m applying to get out of the whole healthcare sector at the moment. I’ve tried nhs, private hospitals and nursing homes and it’s the same shit everywhere. I’ll miss being with the patients as I’ve met some amazing people who it’s been a privilege to nurse but nothing else about it at all.

My experience re flexibility hasn’t been that positive. It really does revolve around the culture on each individual ward.
It also depends where you live in the UK. Up here opportunities aren’t that amazing. You seriously wouldn’t know there was a staffing crisis to look at trust nursing vacancies. Head to London however and opportunities for promotion are amazing I suspect.

Community nurse - love my job! The clinic I'm in is very family friendly and very supportive. Great team and although we're very understaffed the managers still make sure the workload is equal and manageable. There are some lazier than others nut to be honest I think you get that with any job. I get to take my children to school everyday and do school hours 3 times per week so I can collect them too. Other 2days are long shifts which was my choice. Would never go back to the wards.

Most of the job now centres around covering your arse. The paperwork is endless and you often have to prioritise that over patient care.

Your phone goes and it's always someone asking you to do extra shifts because of short staffing. The emotional blackmail is difficult to deal with.

Pressure and sometimes abuse from frustrated relatives who often have unrealistic expectations.

Desperately ringing round trying to cover shifts because of sickness and absenteeism.

Forcing yourself to turn a blind eye to neglect and poor standards of care and knowing you're guilty of it as well through sheer overwork and poor staffing. Dealing with your guilty conscience at 3am.

Coping with working alongside uncaring, incompetent, lazy and stupid colleagues (not all of them, but enough).

Constantly worrying about your registration and knowing you're always one error away from losing your career and livelihood.

Don't do it.

Sorry to keep on adding things ! I also suspect that if you are promoted to a post with a reasonable degree of autonomy like advanced nurse practitioner or nurse specialist life is probably better although obviously not free of stress. There’s a big difference between being pulled in all directions on a ward, answering the phone, doing the meds, ward rounds, comfort checks etc all at the same time and working independently on your own.

Thanks for all your replies, its giving me a lot to think about.

PigeonPigPie - I'd love to work in elderly care or palliative care, but I'm open to trying out different areas, which I presume I would in my training.

Saltontoast - how far into your training are you? Are you enjoying it?

BabbleBee - I'm planning on getting a HCA role before I apply, as like you say I'll get an idea of what its like.

I qualified two years ago and I'm now working my notice to leave nursing.

Never been bullied by colleagues as a qualified (did have one very toxic student placement). Yes it is unsafe. Yes patients are at risk. Yes if something happens under your watch, your managers will roll that shit all the way downhill to you, no matter how many times you've raised concerns about patient safety before.

I'm in a&e right now and on good days it is genuinely the best job in the world, it's interesting and varied, the teamwork is absolutely world-class, and you can help people. But there aren't many good days, and on bad days you are half a breath away from actual life-or-death calamity. Nurses are avoiding catastrophe by luck, not skill. There's no staffing. The managers do not or will not understand that the pressures have changed since they last touched a patient fifteen years ago. There's no money for training but that won't be a justification if something goes wrong. You'll be abused by patients and their families because you are trying to spread yourself over sixty different jobs at once and just trying to keep all your patients above the dirt today.

You'll get out your phone at the end of a shift to find smug arseholes going 'why should we say thank you to nurses, they chose this job', and now I like many others am choosing my way right the fuck out.

I did nursing at uni for a couple years and just couldn’t hack one more year I was burnt out. I always heard nurses say it’s all worth it for the patients, making a difference etc but I found patients to be incredibly rude and thankless, seemed to look after more lazy people than unwell people!
Management useless and always hidden in an office, chronically understaffed and the workload never ending and it’s always your pin hanging in the balance.

All this thread shows me is that the problem is either other nurses or the management.

NHS reform has never been more needed. Starting at the top.

11 months out of nursing, for me it wasn't the right thing I battled for 10 years trying to do better and feel more comfortable with it but it just wasn't for me.

Definitely not something I would want to do in my 40s, the long shifts are brutal, and the flexibility expected of you in most roles is very high. If you are clinical there is a likelihood that you will be contacted on a lot of days off, ward what's app groups etc mean there is little opportunity for work life separation.

There is a really huge staffing shortage, and this impacts patient care. It affects all areas, if you area is well staffed then staff get moved to areas that are struggling more, so everywhere struggles...in my experience any way.

Seriously, you're all amazing. The crap you put up with and the stress you live with, all so you can try and give patients the care they deserve. Thank you.