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Original poster

Positive stories of relationships that started in your 40s and older

34 replies

FanGirlX · 17/10/2021 09:42

Just want a bit of hope really. I'm mid 40s, just split up with DP. Not ready for a new relationship yet but like the idea that there may be someone on the horizon. The idea of staying in by myself every night with no one to talk to makes me feel horribly lonely.

I'm not one for nights out any more. I don't think I could cope with online dating (tried it years ago and it was full of weirdness).

If you, or anyone you know, has started a good relationship at age 40 or above, please let me know (including how you met) Smile.

OP posts:
TonesK · 17/10/2021 09:47

Absolutely can happen. My mum met her husband online at 45. Now they are still happy 10 years later.

TheUnbearable · 17/10/2021 09:50

I spent yesterday walking round a nature reserve with my mate and her DH and my DH. We then had a cuppa at our house. They met when she was 47 via Facebook, they had a mutual friend and married at 49. They are very happy.

scooterbear · 17/10/2021 09:55

I met my DP two years ago, 5 years after a horrible divorce for me and two years after his. We are 41 and 44 respectively. I can honestly say I had no idea I could
Love someone like this and I've never been happier, it's been a revelation.

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General relationships
Purplewithred · 17/10/2021 09:57

Met DH when I was 49, he was 43. Friend met her DP when she was in her 50s. I suspect the older you are the easier it is to make sure your relationship works well - no ticking biological clock, often more financially stable and independent etc.

Seasidemumma77 · 17/10/2021 10:01

Stayed single for 5yrs after my divorce, enjoyed taking the time to heal and build my confidence. Started a relationship with dp 3yrs ago, and can honestly say I've never been happier, truly had no idea it was possible to feel so happy.

Original poster
FanGirlX · 17/10/2021 10:04

Thank you. These stories are lovely. Glad you are happy and it gives me hope.

I definitely need to take time out and work on myself. Getting fit and healthy again to start with.

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DrNo007 · 17/10/2021 10:04

I got together with my now DH aged 58 and we married this year, four years later. We are very happy. Actually we had known each other as infrequently meeting friends for decades but had always been with other people and simply were not thinking of each other in the romantic way before something shifted and we decided to give it a go.

I was and am still amazed by it all as I had long ago given up the idea that I would ever have a happy relationship. And I had stopped bothering to make myself attractive to men (makeup, nice haircuts etc.). But it didn’t seem to make any difference—DH thinks I am beautiful and I think he is the handsomest man I’ve met.

theDudesmummy · 17/10/2021 10:10

I met DH when I was 40 and in the middle of a shit divorce. He was 33. We are still together 18 years and one DS later (bonus for me was that I also gained two wonderful stepdaughters, who lived with us from the age of 12).

Original poster
FanGirlX · 17/10/2021 13:17

@DrNo007

I got together with my now DH aged 58 and we married this year, four years later. We are very happy. Actually we had known each other as infrequently meeting friends for decades but had always been with other people and simply were not thinking of each other in the romantic way before something shifted and we decided to give it a go.

I was and am still amazed by it all as I had long ago given up the idea that I would ever have a happy relationship. And I had stopped bothering to make myself attractive to men (makeup, nice haircuts etc.). But it didn’t seem to make any difference—DH thinks I am beautiful and I think he is the handsomest man I’ve met.

This is lovely to hear.
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Purplecatshopaholic · 17/10/2021 13:24

I was divorced late forties after 24 years, after he cheated. Got together with my now partner a couple of years later, completely out of the blue (for me anyway - we did know each other as have mutual friends and he has since told me he always fancied me, but I was married at the time). Very happy - he adores me and thinks I am the sexiest thing on two legs.

Juturna · 17/10/2021 13:46

I got together with my now DH when I was late 40s, him mid 50s. We had a mutual friend who suggested we went for a drink together as we were both single. I’d been single for around 4 years, him for about a year.

We went for a drink with no expectations on either side, hit it off and we’ve now been together 13 years and very happily married for 10. Good men are out there!

KitchenKrisis · 17/10/2021 14:12

Well your coming into divorce territory now so I'm sure plenty of people will be available.

It's just how to meet them. Two friends mums ended up divorce or widowed and both have wonderful partners.
It's just meeting people that's the tricky part as you know op. I've always thought bar work or waitress might be good soley for this? Something sociable.. Where you can chat and get an idea of someone?
Of course being an air hostess first class might toss up something interesting 😂😂.

Original poster
FanGirlX · 17/10/2021 14:20

@KitchenKrisis

Well your coming into divorce territory now so I'm sure plenty of people will be available.

It's just how to meet them. Two friends mums ended up divorce or widowed and both have wonderful partners.
It's just meeting people that's the tricky part as you know op. I've always thought bar work or waitress might be good soley for this? Something sociable.. Where you can chat and get an idea of someone?
Of course being an air hostess first class might toss up something interesting 😂😂.

I think I may need to widen my circles. I'm too old (and not interested in) bar hopping. I'm in a women's hiking group but should join a mixed one. I need to work on myself first so have time (and no more biological clock 😁), so no rush.
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DarlingFell · 17/10/2021 14:46

Met my gorgeous DH on Tinder when I was 43, engaged three months later, married 6 months later. Bought a house in the countryside and two dogs. Very, very happy and still sickeningly in love over four years later. He is the love of my life and was worth the wait ❤️

Original poster
FanGirlX · 17/10/2021 14:51

@DarlingFell

That's so nice. I'm out of the loop with online dating. I thought tinder was just for hook ups but clearly not.

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Original poster
FanGirlX · 18/10/2021 17:24

I hope there is a good man out there for me Smile

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 18/10/2021 17:30

I'm about to reach one year of dating my bf - met him at 51 on a site for over 50s. He's so lovely and we have a great time. I was widowed 3.5 years ago and after the first year, I had a crazy period of casual sex. I wouldn't suggest anyone else did that but bloody hell I wouldn't change it - it was like a crash course in sex, men and myself. I was also having therapy for a long time and I do think that's why this relationship is very unlike any I've had before. Life is not simple but it's rich and satisfying.

Original poster
FanGirlX · 18/10/2021 21:29

@PermanentTemporary

I'm about to reach one year of dating my bf - met him at 51 on a site for over 50s. He's so lovely and we have a great time. I was widowed 3.5 years ago and after the first year, I had a crazy period of casual sex. I wouldn't suggest anyone else did that but bloody hell I wouldn't change it - it was like a crash course in sex, men and myself. I was also having therapy for a long time and I do think that's why this relationship is very unlike any I've had before. Life is not simple but it's rich and satisfying.
Grin

So glad you are happy.

OP posts:
DarlingFell · 18/10/2021 21:49

[quote FanGirlX]@DarlingFell

That's so nice. I'm out of the loop with online dating. I thought tinder was just for hook ups but clearly not.[/quote]
Tinder is responsible for loads of marriages! Yes you can hook up with people if you want to, but there are loads of people who want something more meaningful to be found. I had two lovely relationships prior to my DH who I also met on Tinder. There is a lot of dross, of course, but that goes for ‘real life’ too 😊 good luck, if you’re patient and persistent, and most importantly, resilient, you will meet someone who is perfect for you!

Anon778833 · 18/10/2021 21:54

Placemark 👀

Tempnamelady · 18/10/2021 22:06

Watching ! Been separated since early this year, H putting me under pressure to reconcile by playing on his mental health, caught me in a weak moment and is now piling the pressure on 😢 . I think at the time I thought how the hell do you meet someone at 50 when you wfh and rarely go out, but now I wish I’d stuck to my guns.
Lovely to hear positive stories, keep them coming.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 18/10/2021 22:08

My dad died 3 years ago. My mum has just moved in with her new partner (who is a widower and old family friend). They are very happy. They are also both 79 - you've got plenty of time!

DuvetDayIsEveryDay · 18/10/2021 22:19

Stayed single for 6 years after divorce. Met now DP aged 45 on Facebook of all places.

madroid · 18/10/2021 22:24

@Tempnamelady Don't weaken any further!

Be a grey rock - "I'm sorry you're feeling unwell, I suggest you see the doctor" over and over until he gets bored and gives up!

Original poster
FanGirlX · 18/10/2021 22:34

@Tempnamelady

Watching ! Been separated since early this year, H putting me under pressure to reconcile by playing on his mental health, caught me in a weak moment and is now piling the pressure on 😢 . I think at the time I thought how the hell do you meet someone at 50 when you wfh and rarely go out, but now I wish I’d stuck to my guns. Lovely to hear positive stories, keep them coming.
Mixed hiking groups and Tinder? This is my plan 😁
OP posts: