Silent treatment

[mollycobbles]

My DH is currently not talking to me. He was unkind, I reacted, he said something about how I 'always do this', reduced everything I said to me being in a 'funny fucking mood' and now won't speak to me. I know from past experience that this can go on for days - he will eventually wait until I 'forget' about the reasons for the argument and just carry on as before, without ever mentioning them again.

I am so upset and he is totally unperturbed - in his head, it's just his stupid wife being hysterical and she'll stop it soon. How do I handle this? The more he ignores me, the more I want to force him to talk to me.

Freudian slip right there.

@mollycobbles even if you are wrong about something sometime, you are open to discussing it and changing. You will hear his voice in the relationship. You want to be heard of course but you are will to listen to him explain why it is really so so intolerable to him to receive a tiny bit of occasional feedback from you.

You're open to healthy discussion.

He's not.

Dont confuse not being perfect, who is! with being wrong here

There is one perspective. His. His perspective is that there is nothing to discuss. He just isnt capable of meeting you where you're at emotionally.

Mollycobbles, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are willing to be an adult, to discuss, accept your part in things if appropriate but he isn’t. He just wants to close all discussion - and you - down. It’s all about him, and everything must be on his terms.

This is no way to live.

Ex Dh used to do this, including the telling me I was abusive. Never did work out how.. He’s on the Clare’s Law list now.
It’s bloody wonderful not having to spend a day working out how best to phrase something. Lovely not to have to worry about handling moods, amazing coming home to a peaceful house.

Have you heard of the freedom programme OP? It might be a good place to start understanding what is happening