most irritating things your kids do....light hearted, sort of

[MouseRoar]

I have twins, aged 6. I say to them "time for bed". Cue exhausted tears, bellows of "I'M NOT TIRED" a battle to get teeth brushed, pyjamas on, and constant interruptions during the story. Gah. Always on a Friday after a long week.
They wail when I put out the light "BUT IM NOT TIR-ZZZZ". Leaving me a frazzled gibbering ball of stress.
Happy weekend everybody

Definitely bed time!

Not at all tired when we're downstairs but 30 seconds later when they're upstairs and have to put their pyjamas on, they're too tired to stand up. Cue wailing and gnashing of teeth until they're wrestled into their pyjamas while they tell me Daddy is their favourite and I am not their friend (they are equal opportunities on this, when Daddy does bedtime, I am their favourite).

When they're asleep and angelic looking, i get a pang of guilt and promise myself that tomorrow night will be different ... it never is. Apparently they will turn into teenagers who love bed and I won't be able to get them out of it. I long for those days

Hiccuping! Don't know why? Just drives me wild with irrational rage. I try not to show it.

Probably harks back to when they were tiny babies and you knew that if they started hiccuping after a night feed you could basically wave good bye to sleep

@Itwasquitegood

Hiccuping! Don't know why? Just drives me wild with irrational rage. I try not to show it.

Probably harks back to when they were tiny babies and you knew that if they started hiccuping after a night feed you could basically wave good bye to sleep

Omfg. The hiccuping! My 8 week old has had them 5 times today already. Arrrrgh!

The faffing that the 2 year old does when you are trying to get ready to go out.
“Go get your shoes” he comes back with a mop and daddy’s flip flops.
“I said get your shoes” comes back with his scooter helmet and set of keys.
X47000000
Daddy says “get your blue shoes” child comes back with blue shoes.

NEVER being able to find sellotape, scissors, glue, screwdrivers, clean mugs, teaspoons, batteries, chargers, pens, rulers, extension leads, electrical tape or notepads where I put them. And breathe.

Child- Mummy?
Me - yes love?
Child- Mummy?
Me- yes?
Child - Mummy?
Me- yes what is it??
Child - Mummy?

🤯

@MarmaladeToastAndAMarmaladeCat yes! I get that every day.
Sympathizing with all of these, I love them so much but please just stop

Child- Mummy?
Me - yes love?
Child- Mummy?
Me- yes?
Child - Mummy?
Me- yes what is it??
Child - Mummy?

I was about to say this. I’m like, you have to say something else darling, that’s how conversation works…

As a p1 teacher, and large dog owner, the way they get into the space they can see you're moving to and block you! Drives me MAD. Good job they're all adorable.

My DS 12 doesn't know how to turn a light off! And seems to think the fridge magically refills itself. And my DD 2 new word is 'why?'

Why can't I have more cake?
Why can't I sit on the cat?

It's such a magical time 🤷‍♀️

The dreaded bedtime routine, when they just have to tell you something so important it can only be told when they are meant to be going to bed....or they need a drink, or they need something from the other room.

Having to repeat myself all day everyday. Drives me absolutely bonkers.

Also the CONSTANT why's! I get they want to know everything but bloody hell I don't know why that cow is lying down and that one is standing or why that leaf is a different green to this one... 🤯

MamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMamMaamaaaaaam!

My DS is 17 years old so more adult than child but his irritating things are - putting the dirty plate on the worksurface above the dishwasher but definitely not in it. And putting his shoes right next to )even touching) the shoe cabinet but not in it. I have to laugh as before long he will be off spreading his wings and I'll miss these sorts of things

"Mam will you help me find this?"
Its right infront of him.
"Mam do you know where this is?"
Right infront of him.
"Mam...nevermind"

I just guess where I think whatever he is looking for is now, it's usually somewhere around him so I take a wild guess while encouraging him to look himself. Instead if accepting that he just doesn't look, he claims that I obviously have powers.

To be fair, if I was him I'd think so too. Many times he complains something isn't working and as soon as I enter the room or go to fix whatever, it starts working again.

@Cofifeefee

Definitely bed time!

Not at all tired when we're downstairs but 30 seconds later when they're upstairs and have to put their pyjamas on, they're too tired to stand up. Cue wailing and gnashing of teeth until they're wrestled into their pyjamas while they tell me Daddy is their favourite and I am not their friend (they are equal opportunities on this, when Daddy does bedtime, I am their favourite).

When they're asleep and angelic looking, i get a pang of guilt and promise myself that tomorrow night will be different ... it never is. Apparently they will turn into teenagers who love bed and I won't be able to get them out of it. I long for those days

Oh lord I can't wait for not being able to get my two out of bed. At the moment, I fantasize of sleeping past 6am.

The fact that everything is loud 😬 even "indoor voice please sweetheart!" results in a slightly lowered voice which gets incrementally louder until back up to a shout 3 seconds later.

Their glacial speed at getting dressed in the morning. I never thought a human could move so slowly. I send my daughter to get dressed, spend 10 minutes sorting something else out, look into her bedroom and she's sitting on the floor having managed to get a t shirt out the drawer but nowhere near actually taking her pyjamas off or putting the damn t shirt on. And she's 6, I really did not anticipate this still being a thing!

Bedtime
When dd shouts Mummmmy for the hundredth time. I go upstairs ask her what's wrong and she'll start with
Well, I've got a sore toe or some random crap that she just thought of.
Drives me bloody bonkers.

They tell really really long stories and take forever to get to the point. Mine do anyway.

Delight in DH's every piddling action as if he is Wonderdad.

DD in Princess TippyToe mood: 'Daddy's making his special lasagne for tea!'
Me-in my head - 'No he's making mummy[s lasagne that she showed him how to make'.

DS1- as if DH is an F1 driver- 'Daddy's taking me to school tomorrow in his car'

DS2 after whinging all day - runs down the hall beaming shouting 'Daddy, Daddy'. when DH comes in the door.

I am wearied by everything I do which goes unnoticed whilst DH's every tiny movement is that of a god apparently.

Almost 18 year old retweeeting nonsense about GCs. He's in for a shock when I tell him it's a load of old crock that he's falling for.

I love 9yo DD with all my heart but my god the child never stops talking. She also does it in preteen speak, almost American vernacular, where every sentence goes up at the end (like a question). But rarely says anything useful (sorry DD but it's true) and although she asks questions she never waits for an answer.

Sometimes in the car I'd just like to listen to my music. Just one song. 3 minutes. DS is quiet as a mouse and all I can hear in the back is "So today, like, I was like playing in the playground and Ben came up to me and said why do you have bows on your shoes and I thought LOL how am I like supposed to know why the shoe making company say "Ooh I have a good idea let's like put some bows on a kid's shoes", like seriously Ben does he actually think I know the answer to that question. I don't! So I just said I don't know and he like said ok and walked off. Then when I went to the loo there were like some year 6 girls chatting outside and being really like mean about Abigail's sister who I think is in year 2....no actually she's in Year 9....I mean she's 25. So like they were saying her sister is super annoying and always bugs them and tries to tell them to to play Roblox"

Get home, I'll put some of my TV on, she will come in and says "Who's that? Oh my god don't you think she looks like Miss Jones from school" (they never look like whoever she claims) "Wow I like the wallpaper but I'd like totally have like yellow flowers rather than blue? Like, blue flowers just makes the room look a bit dar....oh my days what is THAT? Is that her dog? What breed is it? It's soooooooo cuuuuuuuhte, mum, mum, mum, mum, pause the TV for like a second, I'm gonna take a picture of that dog on my iPad and show Bella when I next see her. Where's my iPad? Do you know where it is? No mummy pause it, seriously that dog is like amaaaazibg and I love it's collar too!"

Outwardly I'm always nodding and smiling but internally is am screaming "Shut the FUCK UP". I do sometimes say "right quiet time now". That lasts for all of 30 seconds

Switch all the lights on through the day
Leave cupboard doors open
"2 minutes" when asked to so something
Wind each other up all day long
Yes to the hiccups! And clashing fork off of teeth, hitting spoon off the side of a bowl
Can I ......?
No.
But can I?
No
But can I?
🤯
There's loads more but I'm starting to feel a bit guilty I do love them

I am a step mum and I love him dearly but I have a list of things that irk me....here we go buckle up biological mothers....freshly laundered washing by my good self heaped on the floor. I might as well have dried them and just thrown them into his room. No point in ironing them they'll be in a heap on the floor tomorrow! Socks....none match... no me down the side of his bed, bottle tops, sweet wrappers all in the washing. Wet beds, at least 3 loads of laundry per day. Worn for ten mins Carnt be arsed to put stuff away so whack it in the washing. The fairies will do it Ie me! Don't get me started on lights it's like Blackpool illuminations! Oh the joys. Turn our back and the fridge has been ransacked 😵‍💫 wouldn't change it for the world I love him to bits !!! 👍

@JojobaFromOctober

Their glacial speed at getting dressed in the morning. I never thought a human could move so slowly. I send my daughter to get dressed, spend 10 minutes sorting something else out, look into her bedroom and she's sitting on the floor having managed to get a t shirt out the drawer but nowhere near actually taking her pyjamas off or putting the damn t shirt on. And she's 6, I really did not anticipate this still being a thing!

My niece moves at a snail’s pace and it drives me round the bend when she comes round! But I also have distinct memories of my mum shrieking “just MOVE!!” as I got ready incredibly slowly so I was just as bad!

I love my nieces but the noise, omg the noise. And when you become aware of an irritating droning noise and realise it’s them telling an incredibly boring story about people you don’t actually know. Altho sometimes it’s my BIL wittering on…

DS is 17 and still gets dressed at glacial speed. The only difference now is that it's not my problem if he's late so I try to let it go

The other one is the constant low level noise. Either guitar, drums (not so low level!), bass guitar (echoes in your skull), Spotify or even worse vinyl (never to be referred to as "records")

Like a PP I'm aware he'll be off to uni soon and I will miss it all. Well, most of it