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Old-fashioned, pretentious and sexist attitudes in pubs, restaurants , bars etc.

42 replies

WildRosie · 13/10/2021 20:40

Forgive the rather abstract title. Have you ever come across any of these ? Many years ago when a certain Italian restaurant in Leeds was somewhere to be seen, their draught beer was some unbranded entity and was only available by the half-pint. Nothing to stop one ordering two halves as an aperitif with ones antipasti but a pint ? No way! I have also heard tales of dinosaur men refusing to buy a pint of ale for their beloved with excuses ranging from 'it's not ladylike' to 'only lesbians drink pints'. Again, a half or two was acceptable to these paragons of etiquette. All utter nonsense of course, to put it politely. I thought all this shit was a thing of the past but I recall reading a similar story on here in the last few years. It was something along the lines of the OP attending a smart works function where welcome drinks were being handed out to the attendees. Bottles of lager and glasses of wine but the lager was for men only and the wine for women only! The OP was informed of the 'rule' by a snooty waiter when she asked him for lager. I hope she disappeared to the bar and came back with a creamy pint of Guinness!

I can't bear that sort of fusty, stuck-up carry-on.

OP posts:
gardeninggirl68 · 13/10/2021 20:44

yeah the waitress in a fairly upmarket restaurant suggested dp shouldn't have the cremebrulee desert as she felt it wouldn'tt be enough! like a man has to have a larger portion or something?

SequinnedShawl · 13/10/2021 20:45

On holiday in the UK (Dorset) I ordered 2 pints of lager. The barmaid said “pint and a half of lager” I replied “no, 2 pints” and she looked across to where my partner was sitting and said to me “the other pint is for you?”

gardeninggirl68 · 13/10/2021 21:07

just your average premier inn just before covid, receptionist explaining to dp where to park and threw in opening times for the gym....totally ignoring me even though i drove and i'm the gym goer (had no plans to use gym on this occasion) she appeared quite miffed when i went out to move the car and carried in our bag myself...dp had gone ahead to our room

WildRosie · 13/10/2021 21:21

Even better was the restaurant in 'Doctor In The House' where Dirk Bogarde is curtly informed that "we don't serve beer here, sir." An extreme example given it was 1954 and probably never happened in the first place. I was genuinely aware of a very swish hotel in Holland Park that didn't serve beer either - this was in 1994! 27 years later I wouldn't mind betting Prosecco is also off limits for this establishment.

OP posts:
HuhWhatNow · 13/10/2021 21:32

DH used to love a Malibu and Coke. It always got placed in front of me at the table despite me having a drink beside my plate and him ordering it.

idontlikealdi · 13/10/2021 21:34

At the grand old age of 43 I can't think of a single time this has happened to me.

CeliaCanth · 13/10/2021 21:36

A hotel near us insisted on women wearing skirts or dresses in their dining room. Unfortunately their exclusive image took a bit of a bashing when a dead body was discovered in their swimming pool.

MiloAndEddie · 13/10/2021 21:36

My OH drinks Diet Coke whereas I’d have a normal coke. 9/10 they’d put the Diet Coke in front of me without asking

CorvusPurpureus · 13/10/2021 22:29

I used to work in a fairly rough pub which had a Happy Hour on pints.

There were quite a lot of men that would order a pint before the cutoff at 6pm, take a slurp & order another two 'my mate's on his way down so I'm getting his in'.

No he's not Fred. You're going to nurse your 3 flat pints for the next 4 hours, then get a couple of 'house double' whiskies to see you through last orders.

The women would do exactly the same - except they'd request a half pint stemmed glass with it, & quietly top it up from the 3 pints lined up in front of them.

It was ABSOLUTELY not ladylike to drink pints!

I was a pint swigging (female) student at the time & found this odd, but it was a cast iron rule. You could as one of our female drinkers offer another boozer outside & thump them in the car park, but you definitely couldn't drink out of a pint glass under any circumstances.

MrsKoala · 13/10/2021 22:40

@HuhWhatNow

DH used to love a Malibu and Coke. It always got placed in front of me at the table despite me having a drink beside my plate and him ordering it.
When I met H he drank vodka and lemonade and I drank pints of Guinness. Despite each of us ordering our own the pint would be put in front of him and the vodka in front of me.

I read an excerpt from John Cravens autobiography and he told a funny tale about interviewing Micheal Caine on the set of Get Carter. They went into a pub and MC ordered a lager. The barman said they didn't sell lager as they didn't get much call for it. MC said 'oh why is that?' and the barman said 'because we don't get many women in here'.

Sparklfairy · 13/10/2021 22:49

Happens all the time. I don't drive so boyfriends have been the designated driver, most of them had a coke and I'd have a pint. I'd say 8/10 times it was given the wrong way round.

I also like when I order a massive burger or steak and my companion will have something more like a salad. That one they always get wrong.

I like to think that waiting staff are rushed off their feet, see hundreds of people and to save time they do it as statistically it will be the right way round. Customers are sods at times and I hate the thought they make complaints Sad

NecklessMumster · 13/10/2021 22:53

When I was a student I drank pints but a few times I was refused a pint by batsmen as a female. So ordered two halves. That was a long time ago though

NecklessMumster · 13/10/2021 22:54

*barman

Beefmeupscotty · 13/10/2021 23:05

DH and I went out for dinner. I ordered steak, he ordered a carbonara. The owner served the food and could not comprehend that the steak was for a lady and pasta for a man. We gave up in the end and just switched plates once he'd walked away.

XenoBitch · 13/10/2021 23:10

About 10 years ago, me and a female friend wandered into the lounge area of a pub, and got told off by one of the regulars as it was "men only".

Octothorpe · 13/10/2021 23:12

DH is a chocolate fiend and would always go for the most chocolatey dessert on the menu. I rarely, if ever, order desserts. Needless to say, they always get put down in front of me.

RampantIvy · 13/10/2021 23:17

@idontlikealdi

At the grand old age of 43 I can't think of a single time this has happened to me.
Nor me. I'm 62.
User65412 · 13/10/2021 23:35

I went for a drink in the beer garden of my local last week. I was actually on my way to meet friends but that's irrelevant. Couple of men on their own on other tables enjoying a quiet drink - normal. I had a few funny looks from people I didn't know and people I did know commented how sad it was that I was out drinking alone. Are you OK, relationship problems? Etc. 🙄. Not one could comprehend that I was just enjoying a drink and having 10 minutes peace. So a man can go to a pub on his own for a drink but a woman can't?

Florelei · 14/10/2021 02:15

@XenoBitch

About 10 years ago, me and a female friend wandered into the lounge area of a pub, and got told off by one of the regulars as it was "men only".
I came on to say something similar. There were quite a few working men’s club type places where I grew up and women were only allowed in certain areas.

One wouldn’t even let women join until fairly recently - if you wanted entry you had to be signed in by a male member.

Nevth · 14/10/2021 02:36

One of my best friends is a tall, burly man. He drinks Chardonnay and I drink pints of pale ale. I would say that even in progressive, liberal parts of London waiters get it wrong 70-80% of the time.

I also enjoy having a pint in the sun, on my own, with a book. I used to get comments about it (where's your husband, how sad to drink alone, etc) but after years of solo business travel across the world I have perfected the 'f off' look and even though I'm still late 20s I never get comments now.

And I've also been given half pints when ordering a pint. In these situations I just stare at them and order another half straight away. And a pint glass.

TheEvilPea · 14/10/2021 02:48

@WildRosie

Even better was the restaurant in 'Doctor In The House' where Dirk Bogarde is curtly informed that "we don't serve beer here, sir." An extreme example given it was 1954 and probably never happened in the first place. I was genuinely aware of a very swish hotel in Holland Park that didn't serve beer either - this was in 1994! 27 years later I wouldn't mind betting Prosecco is also off limits for this establishment.
I agree with your OP, however the reverse of this post is true in some place! I remember being in Yorkshire and asking for a glass of wine in a pub and them looking at me as thought I had two heads. That was also this century! Confused
NiceGerbil · 14/10/2021 03:14

So many times!

Start with my aunt being refused s pint in a pub in the late 60s. She would have insisted. Nope no way!

Me- I'll start with a recent shocker.

Out with group for meal. Chatting to bloke next to me. What you having? This it's xyz. Ooh nice me too. Food came put in front of us.
Man I assume owner rushed over and said nonono. He needs this one it's bigger. And picked our meals up off table and swapped them! We were. WTAF?!
He also assumed that where women were next to men they were married. When in fact we were all colleagues. The women were not out with their DHs and his workmates... (Area where it's essentially all office workers out).

NiceGerbil · 14/10/2021 03:19

Plus-

Loads of times I order steak bloke something else. Invariably given wrong way round.

Ditto pint + not pint.

Sometimes still get 'ladies glass' for s drink different to men.

In fact usually in restaurants where eg we both get a great big bottle cobra he gets big glass I get thimble... Hate that!

When it was standard to give bloke wine to sniff at even if woman ordered it.

Once in curry house. Had two bottles cobra asked for a third. Bloke looked taken aback. He said are you sure. That's a lot! Disapproval.

NiceGerbil · 14/10/2021 03:23

I've walked into pubs that I don't know. With a female friend it would have been. Not happened for maybe 25 years or more.

Anyway. Walked in and it goes quiet and you look around and realise it's all men and they have reacted to you coming in. Some staring. Very hostile atmosphere.

So you turn and leave immediately!

Not gay pubs btw. Most definitely not.

Sparklfairy · 14/10/2021 05:41

Oh yes @NiceGerbil those cliquey old men pubs that all the punters use to get away from their wives. Very hostile atmosphere.