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Old-fashioned, pretentious and sexist attitudes in pubs, restaurants , bars etc.

42 replies

WildRosie · 13/10/2021 20:40

Forgive the rather abstract title. Have you ever come across any of these ? Many years ago when a certain Italian restaurant in Leeds was somewhere to be seen, their draught beer was some unbranded entity and was only available by the half-pint. Nothing to stop one ordering two halves as an aperitif with ones antipasti but a pint ? No way! I have also heard tales of dinosaur men refusing to buy a pint of ale for their beloved with excuses ranging from 'it's not ladylike' to 'only lesbians drink pints'. Again, a half or two was acceptable to these paragons of etiquette. All utter nonsense of course, to put it politely. I thought all this shit was a thing of the past but I recall reading a similar story on here in the last few years. It was something along the lines of the OP attending a smart works function where welcome drinks were being handed out to the attendees. Bottles of lager and glasses of wine but the lager was for men only and the wine for women only! The OP was informed of the 'rule' by a snooty waiter when she asked him for lager. I hope she disappeared to the bar and came back with a creamy pint of Guinness!

I can't bear that sort of fusty, stuck-up carry-on.

OP posts:
garlictwist · 14/10/2021 06:02

I always order a rare steak when we go out to eat and without fail the waiter will give it to DP

sandgrown · 14/10/2021 06:03

I have spent years running pubs but I still can’t drink out of a pint glass . I don’t like the weight or feel of it . I don’t refuse to serve women who do though. I used to work in a predominantly “male” pub but the old ladies who did come in drank things like rum and pep and whisky mac or even barley wine. Not exactly girly drinks!

HarebrightCedarmoon · 14/10/2021 06:10

@idontlikealdi

At the grand old age of 43 I can't think of a single time this has happened to me.
You haven't got out much then.
ArblemarchTFruitbat · 14/10/2021 07:04

Never been refused a pint but I've often experienced the drinks being given the wrong way round when mine's a pint and my male companion is drinking anything other than a pint. Similarly if I've ordered a meat dish and my male companion has ordered vegetarian/salad/quiche etc.

I couldn't give a flying toss if anyone thinks it's unladylike, though.

Squirrelblanket · 14/10/2021 07:15

I went to a pub in Sunderland in 2001 and ordered a pint. The bar person asked if I wanted a half glass, and thinking they had misheard I repeated "No, I want a pint please." She replied, "Yes, but do you want a half glass to pour it into?"

I had never heard of this before and was completely mystified. 😂

Malin52 · 14/10/2021 07:24

An ex boyfriends late father used to refuse to buy his daughter a pint, only halves as it was 'unladylike' but was always happy to buy me one. For context she was fully gothed up and I was usually dressed in a business skirt suit.

I'm not sure what that says about his impression of me...!

RampantIvy · 14/10/2021 08:08

I have just remembered a couple of occasions - both last century. We stayed in a B and B in Blackpool for part of our honeymoon in 1981. At breakfast the men got two eggs and the women got one.

On another occasion (in 1995) I was given a budget for a company car, so DH and I went to a few few car sales places to test drive them. At one Honda dealership in Leeds the salesman approached DH, whereupon I took the wind out of the salesman's sails by telling him that it was I who was in the market for a car not DH.

sweetkitty · 14/10/2021 08:15

My mother used to say that women shouldn’t even go up to the bar. Only men allowed at the bar. Absolutely no pints and women in the lounge men in the bar. Old pubs had two rooms a lounge for the ladies and a bar that was men only!

Trisolaris · 14/10/2021 08:21

I got given one of the infamous ‘lady menus’ only 3 years ago!

Dp and I were at a posh hotel in Capri and we were looking through the dinner menu and discussing the options. I commented that one of the options looked good and he said it was remarkably good value. At which point I realised that it was only my menu that didn’t have the prices on. . .

Best part was after a week of me not being allowed to see a price, they handed the hotel bill to dp to look over who nodded and passed it over to me to pay on my credit card in front of the entire staff.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/10/2021 09:28

We’ve often had my lager given to dh, and his wine to me. I can’t say it’s bothered me though.

For daft pretentiousness, albeit years ago now, a friend and I were planning to take dds, then about 16, along with their German exchange girls, to Cornwall for a few days during October half term.

The hotel I was about to book was nothing special, just a standard 3*, but over the phone I was informed that they had a strict rule about no jeans in the dining room for dinner.
At the time dd and friends hardly ever wore anything else! I couldn’t believe how stupidly pretentious it was. So I scrapped that booking and since there was sod all else available, we didn’t go after all.

OhamIreally · 14/10/2021 09:32

I went to a restaurant (Europe not UK) and my menu had no prices on it and my male co diner's had prices. Apparently this was a real thing back in the day.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 14/10/2021 09:41

I don't drink beer but if I go into a pub and ask for a diet coke I'll get asked if I want a half or pint glass. So is it ok for a woman to have a pint glass as long as it doesn't have beer in it?

I have never experienced any of this rubbish though I've been into the "wrong" side of a pub a couple of times where all the middle aged men were avoiding their wives.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 14/10/2021 09:42

over the phone I was informed that they had a strict rule about no jeans in the dining room for dinner

Ha ha. That would rule me out too, I hardly wear anything else (summer would be ok as I've got linen trousers but not in the winter).

FrangipaniBlue · 14/10/2021 10:05

I was in a pub recently with a male colleague, both ordered the same (bottled) alcohol free beer.

He was handed a tall pint glass to put his in whereas I was handed one of those stemmed half glasses that wasn't event big enough to decant my whole drink into. I asked for a pint glass the same as my colleague and the barman took a second or two to comprehend what I was asking as though he couldn't understand but did then give me one!

WildRosie · 18/10/2021 19:58

The Thwaite Arms in Horsehouse, North Yorkshire. I first visited in late 1976 at the age of five and I clearly remember a sign inside that said "Women - please do not lean on the bar". The pub's then owner was an educated, semi-retired man of the world so I am confident this instruction was meant tongue-in-cheek. I hope so!

OP posts:
YoComoManzanas · 18/10/2021 20:05

On holiday in France with a group of uni friends. Me, dh, 2 other men 1 of which was driving. Drove into the nearest village for a quick drink before ordering a takeout pizza. Bar owner could not fathom that I was having a beer and the driver was having a coke. He even tried to insist the driver would be fine to have a beer as all the police were asleep. Kept placing the coke in front of me.

Fallagain · 18/10/2021 20:23

DH is veggie and I’m not. About 90% of the time the meat dish is always placed in front of him even when they ask.

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