So scared of bowel cancer and leaving my little girl

[Panicatnight]

I'm not able to drop off to sleep. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, a friendly reassuring ear maybe?

I'm having a telephone consultation with a colorectal consultant next week.
I had what I thought was a one off incident of blood when wiping after a poo. It was bright red, but I hadn't strained to pass it or anything. I got it checked out by a health professional who examined my tummy and had a listen but couldn't find anything so told me to just keep an eye on it.
A month passed without incident and then last week I saw mucusy blood, just a little bit, in the toilet pan. I ordered a stool FIT test that day and did the test a couple of days later and it came back positive for blood.
I've had vague pain and a bloating in my upper stomach area that comes and goes. This evening I had right shoulder pain, I googled it as hadn't had an injury and it mentioned referred pain from liver tumours!
I've recently had blood tests which showed no sign of anemia but my inflammation markers were raised.

I'm convinced that I have bowel cancer and whilst laying in bed next to my snoring partner I'm in tears petrified.

I'm 40, so not that young to have it.
We have a lovely little girl who we tried for many years to conceive. I can't leave her now. I'm shaking

[Whiskyinajar]

Hello OP, there’s been some lovely support here and it’s nice to see.

You are doing all the right things in getting a colonoscopy etc.

Some of your symptoms (diarrhoea and numbness) are indeed likely to be as a result of your understandable anxiety.

Keep in mind that it’s statistically unlikely to be cancer at your age but you are being sensible and getting it all checked.

Lots of things can cause bleeding from the bowel….even an internal pile which you can’t feel or notice.

Just focus on one moment at a time and hope all goes well for you on Tuesday.

[Panicatnight]

@Nocutenamesleft
I'm sorry your going through this. I've never heard of this type before? How are you bearing up mentally?

[Cruiser123]

Good luck! Everything will be fine.

Not really comparable to your situation, but when I'm anxious I always get diarrhoea.

So weight loss and diarrhoea can be explained by your current state of mind.

Don't worry, it will be fine xx

[Panicatnight]

Does anyone know if dry gagging and feeling like you have a lump in your chest throat when swallowing could be stress related? I don't really want to go down a google rabbit hole at this anxious time.

To answer those who asked my appetite is definitely affected.

[Monkeytennis97]

Op yes it can definitely be anxiety

[Panicatnight]

@Monkeytennis97

Op yes it can definitely be anxiety

Thank you

[bridepanic]

I have fucking chronic health anxiety and have done since I was a child, and you would not believe the physical things it has made my body do. Rash’s, stomach issues, migraines, shakes so uncontrollable they border on fitting, pain in every area of my body I can imagine. I can’t tell you to calm down as you won’t until you have answers (I know this more than anyone), but I can tell you that your physical symptoms including weight loss are nothing at all out of the ordinary with extreme anxiety, which could easily have suddenly developed from the initial health concern you have. I wouldn’t wish health anxiety on my worst enemy, it’s made me feel insane and like I actually wanted to do something drastic to myself so I wouldn’t have to live with the worry of dying.

Good luck, sending love and you aren’t alone xx

[purpleflowerlegs]

@Panicatnight

Does anyone know if dry gagging and feeling like you have a lump in your chest throat when swallowing could be stress related? I don't really want to go down a google rabbit hole at this anxious time.

To answer those who asked my appetite is definitely affected.

Absolutely. You can google 'globus' and it will tell you how anxiety and/or reflux often leaves you with the sensation of a lump in the throat and difficulty swallowing. The muscles are tighter and gives a different sensation but there's nothing to worry about.

[Panicatnight]

@purpleflowerlegs thank you for explaining this. I'm not allowing myself to google anything health related anymore. Just leads to absolute misery.

@bridepanic
' it’s made me feel insane and like I actually wanted to do something drastic to myself so I wouldn’t have to live with the worry of dying.'

Honestly there have been a couple of moments in the last week when I have felt like this. I said to my dh , how can I possibly go on another day like this. I can't do it.

Thanks for sharing your experience and I'm learning more about the physical symptoms of anxiety . I had absolutely no idea that it could be so bad physically until this week. I just thought it was a saying when people said that you could worry yourself sick.

[Insertfunnyname]

OP I've been thinking of you, how was the colonoscopy?

[Panicatnight]

So an update I had the colonoscopy the day before yesterday.
One single tiny polyp was found which they removed to biopsy but they don’t think it’s anything sinister. They found some hemorrhoids some diverticulosis.
I’m relieved that none of its life threatening as far as I know though the biopsy will tell me more in 14 days. My appointment was very delayed due to the procedure at the beginning of the afternoon with the first patient taking 2 hours, so my time after with the consultant was very rushed but they said the bleeding is ‘probably’ the hemorrhoids or diverticulosis .Whatever though, I’m relieved Am still having some strange shoulder pain and back pain and flushing and have no appetite. I will speak to my GP again soon to discuss what happens next. If anyone wants to know about the colonoscopy just ask. Wasn’t too bad.

[Fluffyteal272]

That's great news, so pleased its over for you. Hopefully you can get some answers on your other symptoms soon.

[Islasmummy123]

Hello. I am having alot of the same symptoms ..I have upper abdominal pain that switchs sides ( very oddly ) and back pain also mid back. I have orange mucus that coats my stool and yesterday even saw q small amount of blood. How old are u if u don't mind me asking ... I am 29 with a young daughter also. I would really like to help each other through this.... my heart really goes out to you because I feel so much the same. Xx

[2bazookas]

Adopt a healthy diet and lifestyle, and get regular free NHS screening

www.nhs.uk/conditions/bowel-cancer-screening/

Just did mine last week. At home, very simple and easy.

[Panicatnight]

@Islasmummy123

Hello. I am having alot of the same symptoms ..I have upper abdominal pain that switchs sides ( very oddly ) and back pain also mid back. I have orange mucus that coats my stool and yesterday even saw q small amount of blood. How old are u if u don't mind me asking ... I am 29 with a young daughter also. I would really like to help each other through this.... my heart really goes out to you because I feel so much the same. Xx

Hi there I’m 40 but also with a very young child, a 2 year old little girl.
So I updated this thread to explain that the colonoscopy found a single polyp and some hemorrhoids some diverticulosis. The polyp was biopsied and it came back as a low grade something? Means I will have to have another colonoscopy on 5 years but nothing that’s sinister right now or won’t necessarily be in the future. My symptoms are so similar to yours, the change in side in which the pain is, going through to back.
The worst though was at the height of my anxiety over this situation- the week or so before my colonoscopy where I had the strangest symptoms ever if you read through my thread.
My GP thinks now bowel issues are ruled out for the pain it could be gallbladder issues. My liver ast levels were slightly raised in a recent blood test so she’s sending my for an ultrasound of abdomen and gallbladder. TBH I’m just greatful that so far it isn’t anything sinister so I can handle a dodgy gallbladder. I’ve been trying to use medicine as food approach since all of this has happened and feel better generally though have dropped my healthy approach somewhat in the last several days.
Bowel cancer can affect young people and it’s a dangerous myth that it can’t but it is a LOT less likely in a 29yr old, your age is on your side and if your anything like me the stress of the thought of the what ifs will make you even more unwell so get yourself down to your GP. The mucas can really be a symptom of IBD or IBS x

[Islasmummy123]

Really appreciate your reply! I noticed your out come after I had already posted. Haha I am currently waiting for results of a stool sample and blood tests aparently they don't have an app till 8th December! So thats abit of a wait. I am medicated for health anxiety or I really wouldn't function day to day life at all.
I just hope I get the answers I need and it isn't anything to awful! I can deal with anything thrown at me aslong as it doesnt take me away from my beautiful daughter.
Thanks again for replying and I hope your feeling alot better after your results I am so pleased for u! Xx