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Original poster

So scared of bowel cancer and leaving my little girl

91 replies

Panicatnight · 13/10/2021 00:22

I'm not able to drop off to sleep. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, a friendly reassuring ear maybe?

I'm having a telephone consultation with a colorectal consultant next week.
I had what I thought was a one off incident of blood when wiping after a poo. It was bright red, but I hadn't strained to pass it or anything. I got it checked out by a health professional who examined my tummy and had a listen but couldn't find anything so told me to just keep an eye on it.
A month passed without incident and then last week I saw mucusy blood, just a little bit, in the toilet pan. I ordered a stool FIT test that day and did the test a couple of days later and it came back positive for blood.
I've had vague pain and a bloating in my upper stomach area that comes and goes. This evening I had right shoulder pain, I googled it as hadn't had an injury and it mentioned referred pain from liver tumours!
I've recently had blood tests which showed no sign of anemia but my inflammation markers were raised.

I'm convinced that I have bowel cancer and whilst laying in bed next to my snoring partner I'm in tears petrified.

I'm 40, so not that young to have it.
We have a lovely little girl who we tried for many years to conceive. I can't leave her now. I'm shaking

OP posts:
Original poster
Panicatnight · 14/10/2021 19:46

@ThePontiacBandit

Hi, I have some experience in this field….I agree with some of the pp. At your age, the likelihood of these being sinister is low. The symptoms should definitely be checked out as a “two week wait” although that time scale is a bit variable... In my trust, we are now meeting our 2ww targets for colonoscopies again after a delay cos of Covid.

Reasons for your symptoms could include IBD (not a great diagnosis but manageable), polyps in the lower end of the colon (now polyps have the potential over time - think years - to turn into cancer but ideally we find them early remove them before they turn), could be as simple as haemorrhoids (especially since you’ve had a baby in the last couple of years). Yes, okay, sometimes they do find cancer (much more common in over 50s which is why most trusts don’t start screening until then) but even then it is often treatable. You would get lots of support if that were the case including specialist nurses. Don’t leap to the big C straightaway. Try not to Google because it will inevitably make you worried. I imagine they will want to get you a colonoscopy following your appointment and I’m sure there’s plenty here who can advise you on preparing for that.

I hope that reassures you a bit Flowers

Thanks. I hope they do offer me a colonoscopy and don't fib me off with a watch and wait due to my age. Feeling pretty run down today with some pain now in my buttocks or thigh. I could just be being hyper aware to these things like another poster suggested.
OP posts:
Original poster
Panicatnight · 15/10/2021 08:19

Last night was beyond. I took an over the counter sleeping tablet which meant i slept one hour...
I've spend my time crying. Even crying when dressing my DD this morning.
Is there anything anyone can suggest that will get me out of this frame of mind asap? Any tips for something that works fast. I cant go on like this. I'm existing and being pathetic in front of my dd.
I've never experienced anxiety over a situation like this before. Feeling physically awful aswell. I contemplated calling in sick but I thought work might be a distraction.

OP posts:
Peggytheredhen · 15/10/2021 08:27

I have health anxiety and understand where you are coming from OP. I have had those symptoms before and nothing sinister was found. They can be related to a lot of things including piles, digestion, etc. But you are doing the right thing by getting checked out.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health
Original poster
Panicatnight · 15/10/2021 08:35

@Peggytheredhen

I have health anxiety and understand where you are coming from OP. I have had those symptoms before and nothing sinister was found. They can be related to a lot of things including piles, digestion, etc. But you are doing the right thing by getting checked out.
Thank you. Was there anything that helped you manage your feelings around this at the time and get on with life? anything you can suggest that works quickly
OP posts:
Florence282 · 15/10/2021 08:36

The OP does not have health anxiety she's anxious over a real health concern. 2 very different things.

OP you will feel much better once this is investigated so call your gp again and chanel that anxiety into getting a diagnosis. Pester power is needed.

You have something going on but the chances of it being cancer are very slim. I had bleeding and a colonoscopy showed I had an ulcer on my bowel wall.

It's a horrible feeling to have something like this hanging over you but you'll get through it, ride the waves of emotion and know that it'll all be ok in the end.

artquejtion · 15/10/2021 08:47

@Hamtonn

You have health anxiety. Not bowel cancer. When you have bowel cancer the blood is persistent and so is the pain.
Absolutely inaccurate !!

I have had colon cancer and my symptoms were very nondescript.

Original poster
Panicatnight · 22/10/2021 15:49

So quick update.
I have a colonoscopy booked for Tuesday afternoon.
The situation has changed quickly, I realise in a week I have lost a stone and a half. That's not a typo. Though I'm very heavy to start with.
I did end up in a&e earlier this week with abdominal pain going through to back and also numbness and tingling in my face, neck throat and leg.
I had all the blood tests there and every one was fine . I also had a c125 test which is also negative.
A&e thought the numbness was caused by stress. I dunno. It's passed now.
Pain is still there in abdomen and back but nothing like it was. I have had diarrhoea for last several days often with bloody mucus's. I keep getting hot flushes in my neck and head randomly through the day and my chest feels tight with a cough.

I'm both scared and apprehensive. Things on my side like age make me think that there's a chance the diagnosis won't be catastrophic but this new onset of symptoms and the weight loss is concerning. Could be stress is guess?

I just don't want to die. I want another chance, a chance to be good to change my life, change my lifestyle. I want to be a good wife and mum . I promise to myself I will change if I get to live. I just need another chance.
Will probably come back and update on Tuesday or Wednesday. Helps me to get my thoughts down in writing

OP posts:
SouthernFashionista · 22/10/2021 15:54

Sending you all the best vibes OP.

Mindymomo · 22/10/2021 16:05

Wishing you all the best.

Covetthee · 22/10/2021 16:07

OP best wishes for you, if its any reassurance bowel cancer symptoms are very similar to COlitis or crohns, its more likely its that than anything worse

I know its very hard to think of anything else and to hard to think positive atm, but try to keep your spirits up and like you said you have age on your side. If it is bad news, then you will deal with it how you have to, many people, esp older people go on to live long lives after bowel cancer.

sconenotscon · 22/10/2021 16:09

Please don't assume cancer. My OH had similar symptoms and was diagnosed with colitis. It's very easily managed with medication

ElleStartingOver · 22/10/2021 16:11

I can’t imagine how terrified you must be and I’m sending so much love.

There are a thousand things it could be other than cancer try and remember that. I am keeping you in my thoughts x

Floristry382 · 22/10/2021 16:12

OP these are still symptoms of crohns and colitis. I understand how worried you must be but it's not necessarily cancer. I lost a huge amount of weight before I was diagnosed with crohns and the stress you're under can cause all the other symptoms you're experiencing. You'll know on Tuesday, just try to stay calm. Sending love and positive thoughts.

ThirdElephant · 22/10/2021 16:18

Stress can cause weight loss, OP.

Original poster
Panicatnight · 22/10/2021 16:18

Thanks all. I don't have a lot of people to talk to in RL so this is so comforting.

OP posts:
Floristry382 · 22/10/2021 16:21

I thought I had cancer before I was diagnosed with crohns too. I genuinely felt like I was starting to die. I was in my 20's at the time and living home still and I slept in my mums bed in the run up to my colonoscopy as I was so terrified so I completely understand how you're feeling.

julieca · 22/10/2021 16:25

I have several friends with Crohn's. All lost a huge amount of weight quickly before diagnosis.
Not great to have Crohn's but it is manageable.
The symptoms of various cancers are so wide that I think most people in their 40s and 50s have had one cancer scare.
Hope it ends up being something very minor.

secular39 · 22/10/2021 16:28

I had the exact same symptoms as you OP, it was diverticulitis. Please try not to worry, easier said than done, but the colonoscopy is very thorough (regarded as Gold standard) and would check for any abnormalities, which could be anything.

DamnUserName21 · 22/10/2021 16:40

A close family member had blood in stool, occasional abdo pain and bloatedness and nausea and dizziness.
Had a colonoscopy and gastroscopy.
Bleeding intestinal veins and haemorrhoids diagnosed plus chronic anaemia.

Goawaymorningsickeness · 22/10/2021 16:44

Hope you’re ok, I’ve been wondering how you’re getting on. 💐

Piapiano · 22/10/2021 16:47

Those could all be physical symptoms of anxiety. It's hard to believe but stress and anxiety can give you really bad physical symptoms. In relation to weight loss, have you been eating normally or lost your appetite?

Supertree · 22/10/2021 16:48

I know it's really hard but please try not to worry too much. You are doing everything right and there are other things it could be. I had a cancer scare during the first lockdown and was referred under the two week wait. I had every symptom of cervical cancer going and found a lump on my cervix. I'm the prime age to have it and have never had a smear test. I was an absolute wreck to the appointment and convinced myself that I could feel this lump poking my insides all the time because I was so focused on it. I lost a load of weight because I couldn't eat through stress and worry and had an upset stomach. It wasn't cancer - just a completely benign cyst and the other symptoms were related to my contraceptive pill.

As an aside - I get pain in my shoulder blade all the time from trapped wind and general ongoing (and not serious) bowel issues. Sometimes it is a really sharp pain and I can't move around normally. So that pain isn't always an indication of a serious problem.

edwinbear · 22/10/2021 17:11

Another one with UC, but mine is proctitis, so not so far up if that makes sense? I went through the exact same worries. The red blood and mucous were my symptoms too. I have had 2 colposcopies over the last 15 years, once when initially diagnosed and once after a flare up. I've not had a flare up for about 5 years now and currently symptom free. I really hope things turn out well for you Flowers

Nocutenamesleft · 22/10/2021 17:17

It’s very common to have right sided shoulder pain from gallbladder problems. Just FYI.

Nocutenamesleft · 22/10/2021 17:18

I’m in sort of the same boat

I’ve got the most excruciating shoulder pain. I’m talking I can’t rest. Eat. Sleep. It’s exhausted. Incredibly painful

Something showed up on an X-ray. They ‘think’ it’s pancoast tumour. Which is rare.

I’m waiting to see dr on an urgent referrals. Maybe we can keep in touch?!?