How to stop my neighbours intruding my privacy?

[Earthling1]

My neighbours are lovely people.

They have 3 grown up children.

My neighbours are in their fifties.

They are lovely and sometimes bring us food over.

They are annoying at the same time though. For instance sometimes they call and WhatsApp us. If we don't pick up the phone they will climb over our garden wall ( it's low on the side we share with them) and appear in front of the living room door and knock on the glass. Usually because they want to see our 14 month old son.

I find this incredibly annoying. This happens at all times of the day, even late around 8 pm when we're relaxing, watching Netflix and settling down.

I work full time as well so need the time in the evening to wind down.

Sometimes the living room doesn't look presentable. Sometimes I don't look presentable or I am dressed in a way, which I don't want my neighbours to see.

We never turn up at their house without being explicitly invited.

For instance, the other Saturday morning they came through the garden to my living room door again. They had flowers with them to congratulate me as I'm pregnant again. Obviously lovely, but I was in my morning robe and only was wearing bra and underpants underneath. I felt quite embarrassed.

What should I do? I feel horrible because they are such lovely people and yet I'm pissed off at them. xx

All the more reason to set firm boundaries to be honest then. I’m not saying tell where to go and never come back but for the sake of your sanity and good neighbourly relations, it’s best you’re honest and let them know that this behaviour can’t carry on.

@Roussette

So unless you are told you would think it's ok to climb into a ndn's garden and look through their back door or window??

The mind boggles.

Tell them to stop doing that, OP. It's weird behaviour.

How could anyone think this is okay? They are so rude! Tell them to jog on and stop worrying about their feelings as they clearly don’t care about yours.

Ate they coming through the front garden or the back?

Get a ring type camera with an intercom.

Last night my nephew came around as he always does on a tuesday. He usually does some jobs for me (Im disabled) then we have a meal and a bottle of wine.

About an hour into the visit his mate suddenly turned up, wanting him to go for a drink! He didnt even get into the house. I told him "Sorry Dave (not real name) but Im not going to ask you in. Its not convenient. Chris is working on the computer and we will be eating soon. You really cant just turn up at someone's house uninvited just because you know your mate will be there."

I spoke to him over the intercom so he didnt even get the door opened. He just mumbled an apology and shambled off. My nephew agreed it was very rude but was glad I handled it because he hates confrontations".

I had an issue with people wandering through my garden when I first moved in. It is an obvious shortcut to the houses further on down the road and I assume the previous owners didn't mind as so many people did it. It was solved very simply. With the majority of the people, who were normal, reasonable people, I just stuck my head out and asked them not to do it. With the neighbour who persisted, I put a series of large plant pots blocking his route.

This problem is easily solved. It is a moment's awkardness to ask them not to do what they are doing. And if it turns out that isn't enough, then block the way so that they can't do it.

This is totally unacceptable, you can’t relax in your own house! I would hate this, but I would just tell them it’s bang out of order and tell them to stop immediately. You won’t be able to nap with the baby or relax if this keeps happening. It’s horribly intrusive and rude of them. I’d stick up a bloody big fence too, because I’m an anti-social cow and I’ll see the neighbours on my terms, thanks.

@pinkyredrose

Ate they coming through the front garden or the back?

They are coming through the back garden.

They are coming through the back garden.

Put a fence up! You’ll need to soon anyway as your little boy will be escaping from the garden. You have to keep him safe so get that fence up.

I'd be telling them "I know you're my neighbours and you mean well, but I need some privacy and I really don't like anyone dropping by uninvited, not even my own family. Happy for you to text to see if I'm free but I may be busy with the baby or having some quiet family time, so please don't be offended if I sometimes say no".

It’s outrageous for neighbours to climb into your back garden and knock on the window. I wouldn’t enjoy the conversation as I don’t like confrontation but I would have to tell them not to do it. I cannot fathom how they think it’s ok.