Is there something in your life you’ve never just been able to get a handle on?

[TheRealAnnabelleBronstein]

I have a pretty great life. Lovely family, happy marriage, lovely home, financially comfortable, job I love, always had lots of opportunities to travel and do interesting things.

Pretty healthy too (currently under treatment for a severe health issue but it’s a recent diagnosis and treatable so considering it a temporary blip!).

On paper, I have it all pretty good but my attitude to my weight has been the bane of my life. I yo-yo diet, I starve myself, binge, starve, binge etc. I started my first diet when I was eight. I have major issues around food I’ve never been able to get past. I’ve tried everything from diets to therapy and I just can’t get past my food issues.

My first thought when I wake in the morning is my weight. It’s my last thought at night.

I feel like everyone I meet is judging me. I can’t eat with people, except my husband. If anyone else is around I don’t eat and often then binge later.

I’m a rationale, intelligent woman and I can’t get a handle on this. I think I’ll be 90 and still beat myself up over food.

Can anyone relate? Not even just about weight, but in having a fairly together life, and something that just takes over and makes you feel like a total failure?

Work life balance. I have a fancy job title but I've trashed my health.

And no friends in the place I've lived for ten years. Sigh.

And no friends in the place I've lived for ten years. Sigh

Me too. Have never really got a handle on making friends.

Simultaneous equations/algebra! Never been able to do it! Dread the day I have to help with kids homework etc lol!!!

Moving away from home town and never making peace with it leading to deep loneliness/disconnected. On paper lovely life, grwat job, husband with great job, big house, child and dog, few close friends.....but, especially when I'm down I feel like a failure in not being able to let go like everyone else. I genuinely think it will always be with me (pretty trivial I k ow but still gets me)

I had a childhood friend who I fell out of touch with and often think of her and how she is doing.

Food and weight is an issue for me too. Am about 1.5 stone overweight. I’ve been like this for 40 years.

Yes, @Holly60 - I lost 2 really good friends, one in my teens and one in my uni days. They were stupid arguments! I so regret it.

1. Driving. Technically I can but never got past it feeling stressful.
2. Socialising. Can't really bear a party or dinner party (over-exposed to them as a child I think!)

Crochet.

Weight here too. I'm fairly happy with everything else. I've never been lower than a size 14 since I was mid teens.

Confidence. I just can't maintain it, it's very fragile. I'll have a few months where I'm confident socially, in my decisions, in work but it's not real. I think I'll be trying to 'fake it till I make it forever'.

Working hand and hand with that is anxiety. I'll always struggle.

@inininsomnia

Work life balance. I have a fancy job title but I've trashed my health.

Me too. I really need to sort this out but don’t know where to start.

Weight here too

@SlB09

Moving away from home town and never making peace with it leading to deep loneliness/disconnected. On paper lovely life, grwat job, husband with great job, big house, child and dog, few close friends.....but, especially when I'm down I feel like a failure in not being able to let go like everyone else. I genuinely think it will always be with me (pretty trivial I k ow but still gets me)

You are absolutely not alone in this. I feel deep sadness about leaving and guilt (particularly about distance from my parents now they are getting older). But I also have a lovely life here that I don't want to leave, so just feel stretched across two places

I get the between two places thing too. I think sometimes life is a series of choices when none are 100% perfect - which is hard

The things that give you star quality at school:

Sport
Art
Singing
Music and Movement

None of them have been of any importance to me since the day I left school

Driving.

I'm terrified of it. It limits my life and my kids life sometimes too. But I just simply cannot do it.

DD2. She is an impossible child and completely resistant to any form of guidance, feedback and parenting. It’s a source of constant frustration, it impacts on all of us as a family.

Weight — like a pp I’m about 1.5 stone over what I’d like to be. Have been for about 10 years, can’t seem to shift it.

Making friends. I’m quite blunt, have a very dry sense of humour and I can’t do small-talk. I have two long-standing and very cherished friends but they both live hundreds of miles away now. I struggle to get into the groove of forming new friendships.

On a lighter note, getting up in the morning! I can’t just leap out of bed and start my day like DH some people. Continents move faster than I do before 10am.

Weight here too

Organisation of day to day stuff. I'm pretty sure I have ADD, but I'm 57 so born in the wrong era for these things to be picked up at school.

DH is utterly bewildered that i don;t put my keys in the same place when I come home, I've tried to explain that if I could remember to do that, I wouldn't have the problem in the first place. i don't think it's cute to be scatty. It's infuriating and exhausting and time wasting, But I've made my peace with it. I just don't remember to put things in the diary. If I am about to write stuff in the diary and DH says 'Fancy a cup of tea?' it's like the intent is wiped away and nothing would remind me to return to the task. I'll just wander off and do something else.

I'm way better than I used to be, but still not great.

For those struggling with weight/yo-yo dieting, I highly recommend Rebelfit. I was a yo-yo diet for 30 years, put on my first diet as a kid. I started doing Rebelfit about 2 years ago. It teaches you how to stop dieting, exercise for maximum benefit and identify what’s driving weight gain. I’ve finally got control of my binge eating. I don’t know what I weigh (stopped weighing myself) but I’ve lost about 10% of my body fat, found an activity I love, weightlifting, which I’m not sure I’d ever have tried before.

I struggle with executive functioning due to Autism. I’m better with having a mobile - for the calendar, reminders, sat nav (I always got hopelessly lost before!) but it’ll never be perfect and I still miss appointments and forget things a lot.

Not procrastinating/having energy and motivation. I would LOVE to just get shit done. I feel like I will under achieve my whole life because of this.

Confidence and standing up for myself. I'm a complete people pleaser. I come out of so many interactions kicking myself. I need to have a friendly chat about progression opportunities at work with my boss but I keep putting it off because I worry if she doesn't like me, she will feel uncomfortable talking about things I have no real reason to think she might not like me, I'm over qualified for my current role and I've always progressed quickly in previous workplaces so it's totally irrational.

Going to bed at a reasonable hour so I don't wake up feeling like death in the morning.

I know I should do it, I intend to do it and every night without fail, I don't do it. Something always crops up to distract me.