I want to cancel my dentist appointment

[SolitaryTree]

I have a dentist appointment in the morning and I need some fillings. I have lots of old fillings that were done about 20+ years ago that the dentist wants to take out and re-fill as an X-ray showed a bit of decay underneath them. They’re metal ones too so there’s going to be allot of work. Im booked in for 1 hour.
I need 4 fillings I think.
I’m supposed to have them done tomorrow morning but I’m so worried that I’m currently thinking that I’ll call first thing and cancel and pay the fee if necessary for not giving them enough notice.
Im anxious for allot of reasons.
I hate how bright the light is in your face, I hate not knowing where to look, I hate the dentist being so close to me and having his hands in my mouth. I hate being trapped in the chair and not being able to leave. I’d have to have injections and I hate the feel of the needle and the numb mouth even more. I hate the sounds and the smells of all the dentistry stuff and I panic that I’m going to choke or that my jaw is going to lock constantly. I also hate the taste in my mouth from anything to do with the dentist.
How can I talk myself into going and feel less anxious?
I know it’s in my best interests to get the work done but I’m so anxious I’m genuinely contemplating just leaving it instead.

I’m also terrified of the dentist. Wearing sunglasses and listening to music via earbuds helps so much. If you don’t have the work done now, you’re just setting yourself up for more treatment in the future. You can do it! 💐

I always keep my eyes tightly closed tbh.

Maybe do take earbuds and play relaxing music. This track reduces you heart rate and calms people for operations! This is the 30 min version -there is an hour one, I regularly play the 8 min one to chill

Maybe just go and tell them how anxious you are, ask them to take regular breaks away from your mouth. I hope you go, better to get it done than need to contemplate doing it another time.

Please try not to cancel, lots of people are desperate to see a dentist at the moment and cannot. I too am having a really big old metal filling removed on Wednesday, my appointment is 45 minutes, but I hope the actual drilling won’t be all that time. I am also dreading it, but the old filling has bits broken off and really needs doing now, so I am having it done before any more breaks off and I am in pain and cannot get an appointment. Tell the dentist your concerns, mine is sympathetic.

Could you maybe just do one filling at a time? I wouldn't like having 4 done at once. Longer and repeated visits but maybe more manageable.

Thank you, I know I’m being stupid and I get so annoyed at myself for getting scared about it.
I really want to have the work done I just don’t want to get it done.
Sunglasses and music help allot in other situations actually so that would probably help, thank you.
What does the dentist say when you ask if you can listen to music and wear sunglasses?
I’m trying to talk myself in going as I’d pretty much made up my mind that I wouldn’t be until I posted this.
I wish so much that I had nicer teeth. There are a few reasons that I’ve ruined them but I suppose ultimately it boils down to the fact that I’ve not always taken the best care of them even as an adult. Brushing my teeth makes me gag so much, also having loads of foamy minty saliva in my mouth makes me feel sick too.

Ours gives you sunglasses to wear so I don’t expect they’ll turn a hair at that.

You can use children’s toothpaste if you prefer the flavours to mint. Or get an unflavoured one. You may also find that and SLS free one is less foamy and less unpleasant.

Thank you all.
I know it’s being very selfish when others can’t get appointments I just hate it so much but I know I’m lucky to have an appointment to sort what needs sorting.
Good luck @Mindymomo for your replacement filling.
@gamerchick I know it sounds contradictory to what I’ve said but I’d rather have to go one time for longer instead of have to go four different times.
I just have to get myself there one time instead of cancelling.
I’ve had work done before but I’ve always hated it so much and had to force myself to go. I’ve got a new dentist now and I think that’s making me feel even more worried because it’s not the dentist I’ve been used to for a long time.

I've no advice because even walking in there, the smell makes me retch. But I'm sending you strength to walk in there tomorrow and get the work done. 💪

You’ll feel so relieved when it’s over. I wouldn’t have been able to wear sunglasses because I was given safety glasses to wear but music would be no problem at all.

I totally understand the urge to cancel-I’m also quite dental phobic but it’s got a bit better over the years. Just keep thinking if you cancel you’ll have all this nervousness to deal with again when a new appointment comes around so you might as well just get it done now.

Really good luck

Hi OP,

I'm a dentist and completely get what you're saying. I'm sure many of my patients feel the same way and I try my best to reassure them.

I think you should go.... but explain that you wanted to cancel and why. Tell them everything you hate the most and they can work around it. I use loupes which are like magnifying glasses so I'm super zoomed into the patients mouth and never really see where their eyes are looking! The dentist will be concentrating really hard on where they're drilling so don't worry about that. The sounds are unavoidable but like PP I advise people to bring in earphones and play music they like. We use numbing gel before the injection and afterwards unless having a tooth out if you move around lots and get the blood pumping it will wear it off faster. Perhaps negotiate just doing 1 easy filling to build up to more treatment? The metal ones aren't glued into your teeth so come out really easily anyway, especially if they have decay underneath them. Hope this is helpful?

Also just re read your first message

I say to really nervous patients that they can leave at any time and just to let me know and it's actually fine. When they're drilling breathe through your nose as it shuts down the tissues at the back of your mouth and stops you sucking the water in, also it stops the dentists mirror getting steamed up which makes things so much easier for them

If anything tastes bad ask them to wash it out with water and suction or ask for a rinse. The former is best as they don't have to keep moving the chair up and down.

The closeness can't be helped. Our safety glasses are shaded and I'm sure they'll have some in the practice. Take some sunglasses just in case and say you don't like the light. I used to take a spa hairband to cover my eyes as a child!

We're used to our patients hating it and can be quite accommodating. But if you cancel you're just kicking the can down the road, it probably won't be any easier next time and you may end up needing more serious treatment like root canals and extractions if the decay is allowed to progress

I have dental phobia but it's 100% better since I started listening to music. I play it really loud, shut my eyes, and it just drowns everything out. It's almost relaxing!

I recently had an old filling removed and replaced and it was so easy compared to other treatments.

I also listened to "dental phobia" hypnotherapy tracks on YouTube the day before, and drank loads of rescue remedy just before the appointment. That really works.

You'll be fine. Dentists are very used to people wearing headphones.

Please don't cancel. I used to hate going to the dentist (I'm OK nowadays) and I used to get through it by telling myself that this time tomorrow it will all be over, and reminding myself of the benefits of getting the work done. I also used to think of it in stages i.e walking through the door, sitting in the chair etc and tell myself well I've got that bit over with at each stage. I can also highly recommend asking for the numbing gel as mentioned above, I find the injections ok when it's used. If you need the fillings then you need the fillings, it will just get worse if you don't have them. If you cancel tomorrow you will eventually have to make another appointment and put yourself through all this angst all over again. Please go tomorrow, please just get it over with.

I am exactly like you. Just thinking about going to the dentist makes my heart start racing and I used to put it off for years. I have now found a dentist who gives me gas and air during the appointments and for me it has been such a game changer. I have had root canals, fillings, drilling, plaque removal etc and it’s all been fine. Actually more than fine. I feel like I can do anything when on gas and air.

I'm also a fellow dentist dreader- just going through root canal treatment and honestly it's not as bad as you remember. I know I'll be in denial again when I've had time to forget it all over again and the fear sets in, but you'll feel amazing when it's over
Good luck and don't duck out as next time it'll be worse decay and you don't want that - good luck

Hi OP

I'm involved in the dentistry profession

The dentist posting has covered everything what I would add is ask the dentist if they can use loupes (if they have some) and turn off the dental light, don't be frightened to ask for a break during treatment.

Dentists are trained for this situation but you have to let them know

I’m the same but I’ve recently got a new dentist after not going for years due to fear. I explained to him fully I was a very nervous patient. It’s not the pain it’s the closeness it makes me feel really claustrophobic. He was really understanding and explained he will stop any time I raise my hand and can go as slow as I need. I have to chair a little more upright which helps. I’ve had to have loads of deep cleaning and a couple of fillings which I was dreading but it’s been bearable. I have to get one filling removed and replaced next time. I still don’t like going but I know it’s for the best.

Thank you all so much, I’m so grateful.
Thank you @kwaziseyepatch so so much!
I think I’m going to force myself to get there and then I’m there.
The one step at a time thing.
I think I’ve got a plan in my mind.
I will wear EarPods and close my eyes as much as I can.
I’m going to ask in the morning what fillings I need replacing as I have no idea! I freaked out when he told me I needed them and stopped being able to take anything else In for the rest of the appointment.
I think I will ask him to stick to one area for tomorrow so I don’t have multiple injections.
I hope that will be ok.

Another one here who gets very scared but the amount of times I’ve had the treatment and thought ‘that really isn’t as bad as the senario I create in my head’. Now (I go quite a lot to keep on top of a condition) I give myself a good internal talking to - ‘I’m an adult/had kids/operations’ ‘this is NOT a big deal in the scary things we all have to do’ etc and just get it done. You can do this. Come back after and tell us how it went.

Not a dentist fan here either, although who is! It's such an overload for the senses, the bright lights, the closeness, the drilling! The best thing that ever happened for me was getting a new dentist. My old dentist wasn't great, she was very cold and had no no bedside manner. In fact, after a bad experience with my son, I moved my children to another practise but never got round to moving myself.
Then I had a toothache and had to see the old dentist but by some pure touch of fate she had left and this absolute angel of a dentist had replaced her. He is amazing and makes everything so much easier, it really has helped me to keep going regularly as before I only ever went when I was in pain.
You can do this OP. Getting yourself there is the hardest step but once you do you'll be glad you did.
Oh, and I always close my eyes during treatment.

Thanks for this thread- I feel the same and unfortunately have cancelled my appointment this week for a filling. I regret it a lot. So go! I'm rooting for you.

I've also just ordered some Rescue Remedy thanks to a pp above!

I’m so angry at myself. I got there but I was 8 minutes late. I’m so rubbish at timekeeping. (It’s something I’ve worked so hard at all of my life, I really hate that it probably comes across as rude and like I don’t care). They wouldn’t see me because I was late and have booked me in for 3 weeks time so now I have to get myself ready for it all over again.

On the plus side the receptionist was lovely and has told me what location the fillings are so I’ll be prepared for next time.

Seem bizarre they would cancel for being 8 minutes late when it must have been one of the longer appointments for 4 fillings, you would think they could have just done half or something. I had to wait for my dentist the other day, he was running late and I was the first appointment of the day.

Well done for getting there though and good luck for when you go back.

Oh that’s rubbish. I’m really surprised they wouldn’t see you since you had such a long appointment booked. They could have done part of the work if it was multiple fillings.