How can I explain to my dc that Christmas will be different this year - presents.

[bluebellYellow]

Me and dp are struggling. I was the biggest earner and last month lost my job. Dp earns just enough for most of our bills. His wage doesn't cover them all. I've applied to 4 jobs so far and had an interview for one. I was a nervous wreck as I know how much we need the money. I haven't heard back from them and I think they have employed someone since.
Two of our large kitchen appliances have just broke and needed replacing and our car needed a lot of repairs. It's all happened at once and the small bit of savings we had have dwindled.

Anyway, how can I prepare my dc for a Christmas with minimal presents/treats?
They've never had mountains of presents, but some from Santa and a few from us.

Eldest is 10 and I think this year they will really question things. Youngest is old enough to be excited about Santa coming and friends are already discussing what they are going to ask Santa for.

I cannot share with them our money worries and it's not fair they learn about Santa because of this.

What can I say/do so they can be prepared and not disappointed come Christmas Day?

Can you look at your bills and see if there’s any way to reduce them and your food shop ?
I’m thinking of going back to a top up mobile phone rather than being locked into a monthly payment.
And if you’ve got a mortgage perhaps you could look at having a month off just to get through the present situation ?

Lots of good suggestions.

You could sign up for surverys? Really time consuming but doing one or two a day usually equates to £15 a month. Hardly big bucks, I know, but you can convert into vouchers for shops like Amazon or Sainsburys so it could go towards some presents or food? With time/patience (they're frustrating at times), you could probably get uo to £30 p/m. There are lots of them around.

@TumtumTree

For children age 10 and younger I actually think it's easier as they don't have a good understanding of which things cost more and can be delighted with cheap gifts. This isn't usually true for teens!

For example, you know those huge long tubes of Jaffa cakes the supermarkets stock close to Christmas? My kids LOVE those as they look so impressive. Agree about toys in charity shops too. Lots of people had a clear out over lockdown so you may find some good stuff. You'll be far more aware than the kids that it isn't new!

Very true. OP I hope a new job is just around the corner for you. Good luck x

This actually has made me tear up for your kids and all the others who won’t get much this year and following years. Do you have a toys on the table ? They give new toys to families struggling .

And good luck on the job hunt - it sounds like you've had a, really rubbish time.

You're not alone I think a lot of people will be in this situation at Christmas. I wouldn't say anything but talk about the things you're looking forward to doing rather than presents, "I can't wait to listen to Christmas songs, walk and see the lights, watch Christmas movies together, seeing relatives, make paper decorations" etc., to build up more of a non-materialistic emphasis on it. I've heard someone say on here that a Christmas treasure hunt works well, and then finding that one special present after searching for it is more exciting than just seeing one or two things if there used to be a pile. Money saving expert always mention a large box filled with balloons, balloons always seemed to be played with for longer than toys by my kids. Also if you are able to gather together a small budget I would focus on asking them what one thing they'd really like as I've found it usually costs less and makes them happier to get specifically what they ask for rather than try to add in filler things to bulk it out. I do it about now so there's time to look for 2nd hand/Freecycle/special offers, say it's a wish not for definite as we'll see what Santa brings but at least you have a good idea what to focus on. Mine sometimes surprise me with manageable requests like a packet of blu-tak or pot of slime. Agree with buying things they need anyway too, I always do this because they love getting things like a new toothbrush.

Oh OP, this was us a couple of years ago. It will be ok, you can make Christmas fun for not much money. I managed to get a lot of presents in the poundtoy sale when it last had one with a lot of things reduced to a penny or massively discounted, I think I managed to do a really decent stocking for way less than a tenner. I'll have a look and see if they've got any offers on.

Definitely look on Facebook marketplace as well, I managed to get my DS a really nice trike for about a fiver. He was over the moon and had no idea it wasn't new.

Free activities to do that still feel exciting:

-make a hot drink and go for a nighttime walk to look at house lights

-do a tour of all the local garden centres, they often have absolutely amazing Xmas displays

-find out if your town is having any kind of Christmas event, ours has a parade with musicians and stuff which is fun

Come over to the Christmas threads, there's lots more helpful advice on there, plus bargains.

A few other tips from me:

Cut back on anyone else you buy for - I'm sure most people will be relieved.

Start buying a few extra bits with your food shop to put away eg supermarket will often have offers so grab a few extra items (check dates of perishable items).

Cut back on trimmings eg fancy wrapping and decorations. A Xmas dinner is just a glorified roast, so no need to go overboard.

Plan fun things to do with the children - make a quiz/treasure hunt/other game for Xmas day with some chap prizes eg a chocolate coin.

Definitely have a look for second hand white goods on local fb - lots of free standing ones go begging because people want integrated when they get a new kitchen.

This is probably going to sound ridiculous compared to what kids get now but I remember being about 9/10, early 80's and my Dad lost his job. Mum and Dad sat us down and explained money was tight and we would only have a few presents this year. It's the year I remember the most, not because we only got small presents but I have fond memories of my sister and I opening a stocking with lots of wrapped little gifts and was so excited. Soap on a rope (remember them?!), a bouncy ball, skipping rope, stickers, chocolate coins and lots more small cheap gifts. I realise those sort of gifts might not cut it now but the principle is the same.
There's lots of great suggestions on here and I'm sure you're worrying about it more than they will care.
I hope things improve for you but in the meantime as long as you're children are cared for and loved and you can do some arts and crafts, baking etc around the festive period (my daughter used to love decorating the Christmas tree ginger bread biscuits etc) then I'm sure they'll still have a wonderful time 🎄.

I would definitely recommend having a look in charity shops. There are lots of toys there for a couple of pounds and buying second hand will make your money go further. The items are usually better quality too compared to what you'd pick up in the pound shop. I got my youngest a huge lego set, barbie horse and a few board games for under a fiver.

Charity shops can be a life saver, I've often found brand new stuff in them, last year my dds fave thing was a little ornament of 3 Christmas mice and a teapot, from Santa (50p) from a charity shop but felt special and elf made as she has 3 pet mice :) this year I've already picked up frozen2 monopoly (all new and unopened for £2.50 there are so many bargains on places like market place too.

Most most ds toys have came from charity shops this year £15 got him 10 boardgames and toys he is 9 and wouldn't care where they are from oh all new in boxes too

@FlibbertyGibbitt

This actually has made me tear up for your kids and all the others who won’t get much this year and following years. Do you have a toys on the table ? They give new toys to families struggling .

I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset anyone. I will still make sure my dc have a lovely Christmas. Me and dp have already discussed that however rubbish things are come Christmas, we will be happy for the children and I will make sure their Christmas Day is filled with love,fun and laughter. All of which is free!

Growing up we never had much and there was a lot of tension in the house around Christmas, due to the financial situation. The bad atmosphere ruined Christmas much more than the fact we only had a couple of small presents. I have learnt a lot from that and won't let the same happen to my dc.

My mum used to buy us mountains of presents but my favourite Christmases were when she bought us games and we spent all day playing them! Can you get things like that and make a big deal of playing them all day so they don’t think about the things they didn’t get?

Oooh actually thinking about what a PP was saying about survey sites, I'd sign up for prolific. That site lets you participate in academic research on all sorts of subjects and they're like short surveys. Each one pays at least minimum wage for the amount of time they take. You can't make a huge amount on it but you can add the plug-in to chrome and it shouts at you (literally) when a study is available so that you can snap it up. It's a really good way of making a bit of extra money. You could definitely make a tenner or more on there a week I think if you did a bit every day. It cashes out to PayPal and you could keep it in there for Xmas.

Everyone I know who I've recommended prolific to loves it, it's a much quicker way to earn a bit extra than swag bucks etc.

FB Marketplace has some amazing offers on used toys, especially branded stuff like Paw Patrol etc which are are so pricey new...

I agree being honest with the 10 year old, they must already know you have lost your job so there will be less money to spend, and by 10 they can understand the prices of things. Littler ones, probably not.

It sounds like you're having a really tough time.

How good are you at meal planning and cooking? If you are reasonably competent, then I have two resources that I would recommend.

On Facebook, or she also has a book, there is "Feed your family for £20 a week". This has an 8 week meal plan, with shopping lists. There is plenty of variety.

At even more of a pinch, but needing a bit more organisation, there is Thrifty Lesley (just search for her website and meal plans). She has about 12 weeks of meal plans, for about £10 for a family of 2 per week. It's pretty easy to alter, to include children. Even if you did this for two weeks a month, you could save a lot on you food bills.

Even if you used these as a basis, and topped up with some extras from Aldi/Lidl, you could be able to save a chunk on your food shopping.

I'd also recommend the free app Olio, which allows people to share food and things for free. Often, it is things that Tesco would throw away at the end of the day, which can safely be frozen. I've got school shoes, a bag of clothes and toys from it, as well as food. It shows these by how close they are to you. I've only got the free version, which works very well. There are often toys on it, in my area too.

In terms of Christmas presents, I'd also recommend the Christmas bargains threads here. Often, there are excellent, time limited deals on toys posted there. I think we're on the "Cinnamon Bumss" thread currently.

Also, do you use a cashback website, like Topcashback or Quidco? If you are buying anything online, you can probably get some money back, which can be taken out as supermarket vouchers, or actual cash.

Best of luck!

Hm, I don't suppose Christmas in July would be an option?

When we're all particularly poor, though we're all more grown up now, and it's been the norm in our family for a long time, we do tiny nick nacks at Christmas. Like Poundland stuff.

Then after the January sales we have another get together and do the big gift giving so like £20+ value items. It's more exciting for the kids cos it's like second Christmas.

I don't know why we call it Christmas in July though because it never gets to July, we just wait till we're all in a better financial position.

Box up ingredients, already weighed, for baking, along with the recipe. Add lots of ribbons etc to make it look pretty.

Buy Poundland consumables. Some stuff doesn’t look cheap and is good quality.

Creatively wrap stuff. Put in big boxes, or boxes within boxes to make the unwrapping more fun and the pile bigger. Separate packs into individual items and wrap individually.

Buy stuff they need but with characters on.

Look for stuff that is fairly cheap but big, eg Jaffa cake tubes mentioned above,

Buy second hand stuff.

I’ve always done all the above even though money hasn’t been particularly tight. I’ve never spent the hundreds and hundreds, lots of people have on here, but my kids have always had huge piles and good memories of Xmas.

Oh and wrap vouchers. For cheap days out. Eg hot chocolate in a favourite park. A pamper day at home painting nails or some such thing, a voucher for x hours playing something that your child loves but they know you don’t. Etc

Some could be even be redeemable in the summer when hopefully money is less tight.

Ebay and Facebook local are amazing for Sylvanian families / our generation doll bundles, and wooden Brio train set bundles. In fact I must put ours up now! It’s the time to start looking. Little kids really don’t notice the absence of packaging especially if you set everything up for them so it looks ready to play

I've been there before but my daughter was a bit younger. Sometimes I could only afford to spend £50 sometimes more.

My daughter is older now but the thing she still gets excited about is her stocking. This was often filled with small cheap things from the pound shops and places like that.

I always made a thing of Christmas Eve and baked something for Santa. We still do this even though she no longer believes. It's all about magical memories that don't have to cost a lot.

Start shopping for little things now when you can and if your shopping online before you check out, Google for discount codes. It's always surprising what you can find.

As others have said look at FB marketplace for good second hand things that are often in really good condition. Same goes for clothes as well.

Good luck and I'm sure you'll have a lovely time 🥰🎄