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Original poster

Would you contact the school about this?

33 replies

CaptainChannel · 08/10/2021 07:54

My DC are in a local village primary school. We are happy with the school on the whole, I like the headteacher and both DC are settled and happy there (they joined in the summer term last year as we returned from abroad).
DD is year 4. 5 weeks into the term she has told us about three incidents of children throwing objects. 1st incident a child got angry, punched another student then started throwing pillows and books around. They had to have an 'emergency' playtime while this was sorted and they boy calmed down.
Last week, a different child threw a chair over his head across the room. It luckily didn't hit anyone. Yesterday the class had a supply teacher. The same child threw a doorstop which hit another child on the head. This is all in the 5 weeks since the start of term. She is a reliable and well behaved girl, I don't think she is making it up.
Now, I am a teacher. I understand that some children have additional needs and can be impulsive and anger quickly. I understand that managing behaviour is difficult.
I can't help feeling a little worried about it, however, as I would be very cross if DD got injured by a flying object. DH would like to contact the school to express our concerns and be reassured that they can keep the children safe, but I wonder if there is little point, as what can they do other than sanction the child appropriately/contact parents.
WWYD? Any point in expressing concerns over this or do we just leave it to the staff to handle it in the best way the can?

OP posts:
Mybalconyiscracking · 08/10/2021 07:59

I would certainly ask the question. Doesn’t sound like they’re controlling things at all well

Snowdropsandbluebells · 08/10/2021 08:01

I would protect my child and maybe change schools.
I have taught children with Challenging Behaviour so I do sympathise. But I wouldn't allow this to be my own child's school experience.

Original poster
CaptainChannel · 08/10/2021 08:05

@Snowdropsandbluebells

I would protect my child and maybe change schools. I have taught children with Challenging Behaviour so I do sympathise. But I wouldn't allow this to be my own child's school experience.
Thank you. I also teach children with challenging behaviour so I feel for the teacher, but I am concerned about my DDs safety. I am conscious that we have moved her already (from the other side of the world) and she has only recently settled. She's also made some lovely friends amongst the girls in her class and I know she won't want to leave.
OP posts:
PingoPingoPingoPingoPingoPong · 08/10/2021 08:11

Of course you must say something. Why wouldn't you, plus every concern raised will help build a case to get additional support for the child

Original poster
CaptainChannel · 08/10/2021 08:15

@PingoPingoPingoPingoPingoPong

Of course you must say something. Why wouldn't you, plus every concern raised will help build a case to get additional support for the child
The only reason I wouldn't is because I'm not sure they can do any more than they are doing. But I hadn't thought about raising concerns as a way of getting some extra support for the child (which I think at least one of them certainly needs).
OP posts:
Whitechocpizza · 08/10/2021 08:15

I'd give it a bit longer tbh.
I can't imagine the school and teachers aren't onto this and there's no way they are going to put others in their care in danger and are obviously aware of safety hence the emergency break time.
I'd be noting these incidents but I'd not be doing anything just yet.
You say she has only recently settled and that she has made some lovely friends so I'd not want to be moving her just yet.

FindingMeno · 08/10/2021 08:17

I would express my concerns for my own child's safety, yes.

User5827372728 · 08/10/2021 08:20

I would raise it, the child needs 1-1 to safeguard the other children!

PingoPingoPingoPingoPingoPong · 08/10/2021 08:58

@Whitechocpizza if they have to evacuate the classroom to keep pupils safe its reached crisis point
Raise concerns @CaptainChannel for everyones sake

BlackeyedSusan · 08/10/2021 08:58

I would see it as providing school and child's parent the evidence for an EHCP application and the need for more funding for support.

LittleBearPad · 08/10/2021 09:40

I would ask the school about it. I’d also look at their behaviour policy.

Original poster
CaptainChannel · 08/10/2021 13:34

Thanks all I am going to write a carefully worded email over the weekend

OP posts:
Bloodybridget · 08/10/2021 14:01

Hm, I've been watching a television documentary series called Don't Exclude Me, it's in a primary school and incidents like you describe seem to be commonplace, despite them having lots of strategies and resources to help children manage their behaviour. I wouldn't want a child of mine to be witnessing violent and disruptive behaviour every day either, but nowadays schools are expected to educate and support all their pupils, not just the easy to teach ones. And of course it could be my child kicking off!

girlmom21 · 08/10/2021 14:21

The school are clearly very aware of the behaviour and won't disclose to you how they're dealing with it with the children involved.

What do you think an acceptable outcome from raising it from them will be?

Original poster
CaptainChannel · 08/10/2021 14:28

@girlmom21

The school are clearly very aware of the behaviour and won't disclose to you how they're dealing with it with the children involved.

What do you think an acceptable outcome from raising it from them will be?

I guess an acceptable outcome would be that my daughter does not get hit by chair, doorstop or anything else that is being thrown across the classroom. I would hope that the children involved could gain some extra support to help them self-regulate.
OP posts:
twelly · 08/10/2021 14:31

The school has a duty of care to all children and there is clearly an issue - whilst one would hope they are dealing with it I would be inclined to contact them as it is a legitimate concern.

SentDeliveredRead · 08/10/2021 14:40

@girlmom21

The school are clearly very aware of the behaviour and won't disclose to you how they're dealing with it with the children involved.

What do you think an acceptable outcome from raising it from them will be?

The OP is not asking them to disclose anything 🙄 @girlmom21 but but putting their concerns in writing they will be indirectly supporting the school and the child by giving weight to the argument/discussion that the child needs additional help The more evidence of the impact their behaviour has will help everyone Plus the big one, she wants her child to be safe in school That enough for you?
girlmom21 · 08/10/2021 14:41

@CaptainChannel but she hasn't been injured in these incidents. They can't promise you she won't ever get hurt whilst she's at school but they can tell you they're 'taking steps to ensure all children's safety' which is what they will tell you and you know it's all just words.

girlmom21 · 08/10/2021 14:43

@SentDeliveredRead i don't know why you're being so aggressive. The school will say the right things but it goes without saying that they'll try and keep the children safe.

If the Op doesn't trust them to keep her child safe she needs to find a new school.

The reason for my question was because other than pay lip service, there's nothing the school can do or say to OP that would actually make writing to them about this worthwhile.

OldChinaJug · 08/10/2021 14:47

I've taught children with very challenging behaviours.

I've made an utter nuisance of myself requesting extra support and resources etc because it wasn't safe for them or the other children and the limited 'powers' I had were insufficient.

Sadly, there have been occasions when SLT have only actually done anything about it (rather than just constantly throwing it back to me as the class teacher 🙄) when a child has been hurt or other parents have started to complain. Sometimes it needs to look like it's escalating for them to deal with this particular juggling ball as a priority.

forensicfleabag · 08/10/2021 14:49

I once worked with a class that had three very challenging children and I worried for other children's safety. I always wondered why more parents didn't complain. I certainly would if it was my child's class.

SentDeliveredRead · 08/10/2021 14:56

I'm not being aggressive at all., I'm pointing out that the more evidence they collect adds weight to the argument for (hopefully) receiving additional help
The OPshouldn't have to move her child.. She has every right to contact the school to get confirmation of what practices are in place to keep her child safe
You appear to think it's pointless, in my opinion it's not
Evacuating a class of children quite serious.

Generallystruggling · 08/10/2021 14:57

I would have contacted them after the first incident tbh and I only contact if I absolutely have to, I don’t like to pester them. Your child’s safety comes first and I don’t think this sounds like a great school at all.

User5827372728 · 08/10/2021 14:57

I work in the most challenging inner city school and in 10 years have only got a whole class out about 6 times.

Original poster
CaptainChannel · 08/10/2021 15:47

[quote girlmom21]@CaptainChannel but she hasn't been injured in these incidents. They can't promise you she won't ever get hurt whilst she's at school but they can tell you they're 'taking steps to ensure all children's safety' which is what they will tell you and you know it's all just words. [/quote]
I don't expect her to not get hurt at school. If she fell off a bit of playground equipment, got hit by a ball accidentally etc I wouldn't be cross for a moment.
I don't expect her to be injured by impulsive throwing of furniture. Just because it wasn't her this time that doesn't change the fact it's a concerns If that makes me unreasonable then so be it.

OP posts: